Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy I wish I didn't say that.

This is for venting...
Please don't anybody pick on me I might cry.

I've been going to the library every week checking out huge stack of books for DS9 & dd6 every week. The Libraians make wondering comments and keep asking if I home school my kids. I don't homeschool. this has been a little weird but Iv'e been laughing about it with my DH.

So I go in again, by myself, a little stressed. I ask one of the librarians if they have a resource I could use for locating books for kids that read ahead level but don't want unapproriate content. She asks if I homeschool? I blurt out no it's just that my ds9 is gifted and tested 9th grade level and he needs to read alot and that's why I'm so exasted all the time this is so hard to find these books. She gasped OH wow 9th Grade! No we don't have something like that and helped me find some books.

Why did I have to do that???????? I could of just said he likes to read alot and he is ahead in his reading level. That's what I would usally say. This was a very nice lady but I didn't need to share all this.

Well, I don't see anything wrong with saying that--if the librarian can't help, who can? But then, we have never had the kind of negativity about our DS that so many people seem to have experienced regarding things like that--everybody knows how he reads, because he did it out loud in public from the beginning!

It may just be me, but I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe she'll be inspired to come up with some resources for you now!

Oh, boy. I've said plenty of things that I've wished I could unsay.

You are not alone, this happens to everyone.

But I don't think what you said was so bad either. And it was the truth! Don't beat yourself up about it.

Oh, don't worry at all--the librarian needs information in order to help you find what you need--that's her job!

As to finding books with appropriate content and reading level, I could make a couple of quick suggestions, if that would be helpful:

--TH White, "Mistress Masham's Repose" (more fun if he already has read or at least knows in general outline the plot of the Lilliput part of "Gulliver's Travels"); "The Sword and the Stone" (save the rest of the series for later--the sequels are heartbreaking, but this first one is perfect for a young advanced reader)

--try the Victorians: Rudyard Kipling, William Makepeace Thackeray (specifically the Xmas pantomimes), Lewis Carroll, Kenneth Grahame, George MacDonald, Robert Louis Stevenson, Edith Nesbit...

A couple places to start, anyway.....Take care, and don't worry,

peace
minnie

Oh dear, sounds like you've had some real negative reactions to saying something like this before...but really really really nothing at all wrong with what you said. Like other posters said, it's a fact, and it will help the librarian to hone in on the right books faster, which should be his/her goal.
I hope they really were pleasant, sometimes body language can make all the difference in whether I end up regretting having said something...

(At least you manage to get your books back on time!! That is forever my source of red-cheeks.
)

thank you , I felt like it was bragging and being too dramatic.
I do feel better now

We have great librarians overall, but we have had some comments. I have felt like I have to tell them about DS as well at times and felt the same way when I did. I was just too tired of getting reactions like "well how old is he?....that will be way ahead of him" and I even got one say something like "well if he is reading 4th grade books and he is only 4...what is he going to read when he is in 4th" and also a "I know that he can read some of these books...but is it appropriate for him to". That last one I was kind of glad to hear actually. He is capable of reading pretty much anything....but that doesn't mean he should. I knew that but I still didn't mind hearing it. Anyhow, I just want to say that I said a similar thing and felt the same way. But it's the truth and we are just trying to get books that are good for our kids. They should be understanding of that. Our librarians seems to be good about it.

I had this same type of experience last weekend, during a playdate between DS4 and the neighbor's ND 5 year old. Things are a little strange right now because both boys just started kindergarten, although the neighbor is nearly a full year older than my son. Somehow I managed to make it through nearly two hours without saying much about DS4 and school, but then, just as I started priding myself on that, the conversation turned to "potty humor," and I let it slip that DS4's idea of potty humor is "Hey, 'poop' is a palindrome! Ha! Ha!" It didn't help things that the neighbor mother had to ask what a "palindrome" is. I kicked myself for that one the rest of the day. Sometimes you just can't help yourself though!

For what it's worth, our librarian is the only one who knows how truly gifted DS is, aside from my family! She has been a brilliant resource for us and never says stupid things like "you can't read that, you're only 6!" She pulls new books and holds them for DS and keeps a running list of ideas for him whenever she sees something good go by.

But I hear ya! I've stopped talking about it after we were kicked out of a MOMS club group when DS was talking in full sentences at 14 mo. It made the other moms question their own parenting or something. Oh and it might have been that I told one mom that I didn't do any flashcards, DS just came this way....

last summer, I was calling some of the smarter friends' parents I wanted to promote a free weekly chess class. I thought it would be fun if some of his freinds would go. My ds9 was playing chess since K so I didn't think anything of calling others. After about 4 calls, I expressed to one mom I was suprized no one played chess. It's such a great game. She let me know she didn't think most boys this age do that. I had a big Oh moment once again.