Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Motivation Issue

I have a 9 year old DS who is gifted in language arts. He just started 4th grade. Last year there were four other gifted kids in his class -- he had to work hard to be "top dog" and he wasn't always. Good or bad, competition motivates him.

This year he pulled a much different peer group. His reading level far exceeds even the 2nd performer. He's the only student three weeks in a row to get all his spelling words right on the pre-test. He's apparently one of the few who even turns in their homework.

So basically his peer group is not going to challenge him this year. He is pulled out for his gifted program, but that's only an hour a day.

I'm not sure there is anything I can do. I like his teacher and really don't want to disrupt him because he's doing well socially. I do encouarge him as much as I can, but I'm really concerned that he's going to slack off since he can be a top performer with very little effort.

Any suggestions? Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer.

My DS9 in 2nd grade, last year knew all his spelling words the 1st day he brought them home. His spelling for the year was over 100% because he also got almost all of the teachers bonus words too. Luckily, his teacher had chalkboard spelling competions he wanted to win. The fastest student with the correct word would win. He studied his words even though they were too easy because the teacher made the practice meaningful with the competion.

When my son brought home his spelling words they were on a page with some stories. He would circle a few of the bigger words and ask me to quiz him for a challenge.

We would also look up a word from his list once a week in the dictionary for definitions.

My advice for anyone wanting to try these ideas;
I think it's better to tell students it would feel good to do this and be challenged. But this is extra work and it should not be pushed. Encourage the student to push themselves when they need it.

Talk to the teacher or gifted teacher, she may have ideas for Challenging him. My son brings in reading, and extra Math workbooks (instead of coloring books) and does independent studies when his work is done early. They also gave his readers that were more on his level.

You are so luck to get an hour a day in gifted program. We only get 20mins. twice a week.

good luck. I hope this is helpful.

WorkingMommy- it seems like you at least have the advantage of knowing what motivates DS.

I certainly think it is worth approaching the teacher/school to see if you can work out anything together (including, but certainly not limited to, subject acceleration, a different cluster group with higher performing students, and/or differentiation). These things may not interfere with his current social achievements and I'm sure if you get along well with the teacher she'll certainly be willing to consider your concerns.

If the school cannot or will not make changes, perhaps consider training for local spelling bees or even home competitions with family to foster that competitive spirit! Book clubs with older students do a lot to motivate my niece. She loves interacting with "intellectual peers" who appreciate the same books she does.

Good luck!

Sometimes teachers will collaborate with teachers in other rooms or grades to make reading groups. I encourage you to make an appointment to talk to the teacher, stress you much your child likes her, share your concerns, and tell her the story about how much he got out of doing reading with child x,y and z, and ask her if she can sent up a collaboration with one of x,y or z's teachers.

I feel that a child does have an obligation to themself, to work at his or her readiness level at least 10 minutes 5 days a week. If you can't motivate your child to push themselves, then I believe you have to push them. This may seem mean, but compared to gradeskipping a child who is happy where they are socially, but 'HAS' to be gradeskipped because they are becoming ingrained underachievers, it's doesn't seem mean to me. This happened at our house, so I can see both sides. DS was insistant that he wasn't going to do a speck of work more than what the teachers asked for in 5th grade - so he HAD to skip. I think that if I had started him earlier with 'of course, this is what we do in our family, everyone works at their challeng level every day, just like eating vegtables' then we would have had many more options. I think...

smiles,
Grinity

Sorry - I took a little liberty in quoting you. But this is how I remind our kids (and myself) whenever I'm making them do something that they would avoid if left to their own devices.

I remember an analogy from Tony Robbins in a talk about personal growth: In weightlifting, if you're doing a set of 10 repetitions... which repetition is most important? Which stimulates the most growth? #9? #10? No -- Number 11.

My kids won't eat their vegetables. maybe i do have something to learn here.

Veering wildly off-topic...

Although I'm known to have the occasional outburst at the table for misbehaving cretins, the Eating of Vegetables has been handled with an impressive amount of restraint on my part.

The child is free to leave his vegetables, however, they will be reheated at each subsequent meal (getting nastier & nastier) AND become his only source of sustenance until he chooses to eat them.

AND... the particular variety that caused the ruckus will appear meal after meal (Squash for breakfast? Yay!) until the complaining stops.

Little Miss Princess suddenly realized that zucchini once or twice a week was far preferable over zucchini at nearly every meal for a week.

The kids have learned to eat every vegetable under the sun, and they even "like" some of them now -- especially broccoli.

Of course, we aren't so cruel as to force brussel sprouts, lima beans, cauliflower and other similarly hideous vegetables. I can be mean, but not that mean!

Another secret to success? Steam fresh veggies. Steaming is what finally got me to enjoy my veggies after literally 30+ years of gagging on them. (My mom always boiled things into oblivion. Blechh.)

While I'm sure this approach wouldn't work for everyone, it's kept me from having any fights at the table -- at least over food.

thanks! After posting I was hoping I didn't sound rude. I am here to learn.

Thanks for all your suggestions and ideas. I'm glad to have finally found a board where I can ask questions like this.

A friend of mine was at a scientific convention, where he was told that a child needs an average of 30 introductions of a new food during the early years to learn to like it. To bad my son was 10 years old before I heard that one! I had read a book that said that all the vitamins in vegetables could be obtained through fruits, so not to sweat over it.

Hey, part of the reason I feel that parents should push themselves to be 'charismatic leaders' is that I didn't very often!

Smiles,
Grinity