Hi
I think I'm with both Shellymos and Breakaway4 on this - not that I'm sitting on the fence but more that we've done both. When we were dealing with the 3 year old tantrum throwing terrorist we got advice from the psych and went down the setting boundaries, saying no and meaning it, reducing choices and using routines, rewards and heaps of positive praise and encouragement. He certainly improved when we made it clear the grown ups were in charge not him and stopped the tantrums when we limited his choices or in some situations removed them altogether. 3 years later and we are at the stage where he is self motivated and able to make the right choices for the right reasons. I can't remember the last time he needed 'punishment' and although he still gets lots of praise I was just thinking today its time he had a treat as all this week, even though he's been off colour with a bad asthma episode he has got himself up, dressed, breakfast, teeth, hair, school bag done - all before we have even got out of bed. Now me, I think for a boy who isn't even 7 yet this is pretty awesome behaviour! So right now of course I'm feeling a bit smug lol
but prepared for the bubble to burst. So imho I'm thinking the hard yards in the early stages have set the foundations for him to now make all the smart choices. S.