Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Identification, Testing & Assessment Where do I even start?

Where do I start with looking for a person/place to test my two year old? It is not as if its in the phone book and unfortunately.. I live in a area where programs are very limited.

Is there a particular need to have your 2 year old tested? It isn't even highly recommended to test kids under 5 unless you have a particular need to do so. The results are highly variable and can change a lot from that age. If you could give us more details, some of the experts around here might have some good advice.

It is convoluted. I'm not sure whether I would want to test her yet to be perfectly truthful.. nor am I sure she would even answer questions correctly... it would depend on her mood and if she liked the person.

On the other hand... my daughter is so far advanced that I feel like I should be looking for something/ someplace that would help her and where she could fit in. There is a group near where I live where exceptional children gather, play, learn together etc that I've heard about but apparently membership is based on proven testing.

Naturally, I personally tend to want to just treat her like any other kid and just accept her for who she is. I know that if you focus too much on it, there could be many potential negative outcomes.

Knowing the right thing to do all the time is hard.

But yet she has already figured out that she's different.
People either do one of two things... they either treat her like she's the next Messiah (which I whole-heartedly disapprove of) or it drives people away because they don't want their kids shown up by a two year old.

So my way of thinking is that it might be beneficial if I can have her in a group where being "gifted" is the norm not the exception. (Though perhaps this group is full of egotists who believe they are better than everyone. Who knows?)

I don't know the right thing to do. I'm just thinking of options.

Besides it is after 12am here and I tend to worry too much when 12 rolls around. LOL

That's the problem, or part of it - the results you get from testing a 2yo are so heavily dependent on factors that have nothing to do with the child's ability.

So your main reason for thinking about testing now is that it's apparently a prerequisite for having her join this group of exceptional children. The obvious thing to do would seem to be to contact whoever's in charge of this group and ask, specifically, what testing they expect for a 2yo and who. locally to you, has done it for other members of the group. Although, TBH, my feeling would be that if this group really expects people to test their 2yos to join, I'd be running fast in the other direction! Maybe what you've heard is not quite accurate, e.g. maybe they expect test results for school-age children only? Or maybe the group is not an appropriate environment for so young a child, however gifted?

You sound a little freaked out about your DD's abilities, but though it's understandable especially since you have a lot of experience with young children (sometimes it's easier to take your own at face value if you haven't a clue how unusual they are!), I think it's premature to be thinking that she's so gifted that you have to see it as a potential problem. She's obviously bright, but that could still be all, or she could be PG - you don't know yet, and even testing wouldn't reliably tell you (OK, it might narrow down the possibilities, at least if the number came back high!) What I mean is that from what you said in your intro post I think she would not have been out of place in the nursery my DS went to at that age, for example (it had no special entry criteria, but it was run by a local university primarily for its staff and students, so a skewed demographic). Of course maybe I'd think differently if I met her, it's hard to write these descriptions of our DC and get over what we see! Still, it might be best all round if you can find ways to get her (and you) congenial company without needing to slap a label on her, and maybe there are ways to do this? If I were you I certainly wouldn't worry about encouraging her interest in reading and maths, although I wouldn't attempt to sit down and teach her either - I'd just answer her questions and make stuff available. Have fun!

I think that ColinsMum's advice is very good. I wouldn't rely on testing done on a 2 y/o as giving you an accurate read on her abilities in the long range. If this group requires testing on that young of a child, they are risking excluding children who would later turn out to be eligible and who just weren't easily testable at that age. They would also risk the opposite -- admitting hothoused little preschoolers who are advanced due to the whole flashcard stuff and whose intelligence scores would wind up somewhat different when older and not being so externally influenced. I'd really start there -- give them a call and find out what, if anything, they even have for a child of that age.

Since others alluded to your other posts, I searched them out to get more background. Your dd sounds a lot like my girls were at that age. I had no idea that they were gifted. I am just less astute about those things and had less child development experience. At this point, my girls are 10.5 and 8.5. The 10.5 y/o is moderately-highly gifted (98th-99th percentile on IQ tests or 1 in 50 to 1 in 100 people). So, while she is different, she isn't a freak by any means. There are people like her in every group of a reasonable size. What makes my oldest so different is personality, direction, and drive. My younger dd is in the process of being reassessed due to some issues we've had. She is somewhere in the exceptionally to profoundly gifted range (over 99th percentile) based upon earlier test results, but we'll see how these ones play out. She doesn't appear to be gifted at all at this point, but again her personality play a lot into this.

My point is that you can't know where your dd will be in 5 or 10 years or what her needs will be in terms of social interactions, academics, or other things based upon who she is at two. Honestly, had I known that my girls were gifted at two, I might have, like you, sought out other gifted kids for them to hang out with which would have seriously limited their playmate selection. Dd#1 has a friend whom she has known since they were your dd's age. There is a definite ability difference btwn the two and, like you've experienced, at times it has been akward with the other mom. However, dd values this friendship and I have to deal with any difficulities as the adult in order to allow dd to continue to have a friendship she values.

Perhaps your dd can play with older girls sometimes? If she has any specific interests, getting her involved in things surrounding those interests may also help. Our oldest has some very directed interests and she has greatly enjoyed getting involved in scuba diving classes for kids, etc. that align with her interests b/c it allows her to interact with those who share her passions regardless of whether they share her brain wiring. That is good enough often.

We have an excellent Montessori preschool here which has been a great place for some very gifted kids between 3 & 6 years old because of the freedom it allows them to explore their world in depth at their own pace. It's important that you find a place which truly follows the Montessori philosophy, and is not just using the name.

Sitting here in the light of day... things do not seem as bad as they do in the wee hours of the morning. I woke up this morning with the knowledge that I'm doing fine, DD is fine, and she'll continue to be fine. LOL.

Thank you all for the advise.. once again I'm glad I found this board... you have calmed my worries.

I think perhaps I read too much. I recently purchased my first books of gifted children and some of what they said started freaking me out. Up until now I was sure just living normally would be appropriate. I think I'll put the books down.

What spurred this all on is that LIFE has gotten in the way of my plans for "preschool" and I haven't pursued it. Playing Candyland is as far as I've gotten. So, imagine my shock when I caught her reading a board book to her younger sister. Of course, I thought perhaps she had memorized it. I know she is capable of it. But, no. I showed her a book she had never seen before (one of those level 1 readers) and she read it to me. And here I thought she knew only a few sight words! I've since discovered she has somehow made that mental leap from putting CVC words together into reading larger words phonetically.

You would think I couldn't be surprised anymore.

I accept and am proud of her. The "freaking out" about her abilities is that

1- I worry too much.

and

2- Genetically I expected to have intelligent kids. My husband is technically a "rocket scientist" (haha) and has a genius IQ. I myself have always been "gifted" just not nearly as much as my DH. However, the level of her precociousness was just not expected.

And, yes, having a lot of experience with kids probably makes it worse.

I apologize if I sound scatter-brained. Because I have no one in my life that I can really discuss anything of this sort with.. what I type hasn't really gone through any filters yet.

I also have to admit that even while I was typing about this "exceptional" group I was thinking they seemed a little stuck up themselves and that such exclusive membership requirements would probably not be for me. Who do they think they are... Mensa? I think I just wanted to put feelers out there.

I wish, like most mothers do, for my kids to be happy and healthy. I've seen her rejected by other kids enough to hurt for her. Unfortunately, older kids want nothing to do with her because they think she's a baby... She only weighs 26 pounds and is 34 inches tall... so she looks much younger than she is.

This really exacerbates the situation of course.. with parents and other children.

Lol, so much of what you say is so familiar. I still get a bit freaked out by Gross's book because she's so breathless about things which are normal round here :-) [although some of what the kids in that book do takes my breath still, I'm glad to say] and I still remember being shocked the first time DS (then 2, but closer to 3 than your DD!) read a whole book which I knew he'd never seen, and wondering how long he'd been able to do that, and realising that my earlier assumption that he'd been "reading" by memorising might have been off the mark... Yeah, it is scary. But it's OK, it's fun, they're still our lovely little kids, you'll be fine :-)

I would say do just the opposite--read all you can get your hands on. I went through a similar phase when my DS4 started reading at age 2, and it was only after I'd read a dozen gifted books, skimmed much of the Hoagies site and followed this forum for months on end that I was able to calm down. In my experience, knowledge brings confidence and peace of mind. The more I read, the more secure I was in taking necessary steps such as enrolling my son in kindergarten early and the more confident I felt that if kindergarten doesn't work out, I can deal with that as well.

I am in the same boat as your girl. My DS turns 3 in 12 days and he is way above the bar and borderlines freakish at times. I understand your concerns and praise you for taking notice.
I also have a DD6 who is gifted, but she is easy going and quiet so no one ever notices that her brain is moving fast, but my 2yo is way more advanced and outspoken so I am beginning to worry about him.
I understand you girl!
My advice is
# 1 wait on the testing. You do not need a report to tell you when your child is gifted and it will be more accurate closer to school age.
# 2 Give your child all things they need to be happy and move forward at her pace.
# 3 It is never to early to statr looking into your school district and start laying the foundation for schooling. Some districts have schools for gifted and others have much to be desired.
I wish you luck and hope your keep posting here! We can worry together
This site is a great place to be yourself and be free to brag or cry. anytime.