Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Ruf's latest blog - boys and troubles in school

My son likes competition in anything that isn't physical because he can't really compete physically, except to try to improve his own individual score. He liked studying for and competing in the spelling bee. He liked to be the first to memorize lines in musical theater. He likes competing with his dad on computer and video games. He likes buying used games like Brain Age and competing with the person who owned the game previously. He likes competition in trivia games.

He told me one of the things he didn't like about the new scout group was that it seemed like they encouraged what he called "socialized badge earning" so that nobody earns more badges than the next person. He says this takes away any incentive for him to work hard on what he can do. They seem to want the kids to earn badges at the same time with the rest of the group (most of them at the camps) and not work on them on their own. The Boy Scouts requirement book says any boy scout can earn any merit badge at any time and you don't need to have had rank advancement to be eligible. So I know we need to talk to someone else in the group. But it may be that our local rules are different than some other groups because when he was a cub scout they wouldn't let him earn academic pins until he was in Webelos because they said it wouldn't be fair to the other kids.

That's not the way scouts is supposed to be run. Talk to the leaders and if it's not changed, take it higher, if you still don't get satisfaction, find a new troop.

I talked to the parents of another boy who is my son's age, but will cross over to Boy Scouts next year. Their son has similar sensory issues and would have difficulty with some of the same physical requirements. Their son was diagnosed with autism but it looks to me like it is very mild. They want my son to stay in scouts and I would like for my son to stay in scouts so maybe we can work together to get some changes made.

My son had a couple of friends over for his birthday party and sleepover and we asked the 14 year old friend why he dropped out of scouts. I was really surprised that he had quit because he called us last year to tell us he was having a lot of fun at scout camp and had just hiked up a hill in 100 degree heat. It was then that I realized we might have some problems if my son crossed over to Boy Scouts so I asked my son's 15 year old friend if he thought my son would like it. He said no and he only stays in it because his parents make him. This is the boy who seems the most like my son but doesn't have my son's physical issues. He has a lot of sensitivities and even some that my son doesn't have, but he loves doing musical theater and quickly learns those difficult dances that my son has trouble with and he has no fatigue issues. I think because he is also gifted and highly sensitive he understands my son's difficulties better than any of my son's other friends.

The 14 year old friend told us he dropped out because it got boring. I think we definitely need to make some changes. I hope we can talk the 14 year old into going back into scouting. I know he and my son's two other friends in scouts would help him if he needed help without making fun of him for his lack of coordination and physical strength. He and my son have been friends since my son was 4 1/2 and first joined the musical theater group. He never complained when he had to do dance routines over and over so my son could get it and he talks about how smart my son is and how he should go back to public school where he thinks they would have to put him in the same grade as him. He told my son about a math competition he is involved in at school and I would love for my son to do something like this if only they would allow part time school, but they don't and there are no homeschool groups near us that do this.

I had to fight this "dumbing down" approach to Girl Scouting in my area. Scouting is one area where one can succeed by working hard. My daughter has always had more badges than all of her troop and she enjoys all the extras and goals.

This is why only five percent get the higher awards and is why they mean so much.

It angers me when local areas try to keep everyone down.

This is why I'll never discourage my DS5's obsession with monster trucks. He knows more about the series, drivers, trucks, etc than any average 5 year old should know. And I will be equally as proud of him if he turns out to be an extremely skilled mechanic, etc, as I would if he graduates top of the class at yale and becomes a doctor.

Note: I haven't read anything else but the last couple of posts on this thread... going back now.

This was my issue growing up. No one knew. No one. Even when there were attempts at "suicide" (which my attempts were what they would call cutting these days and not suicidal tendencies), there were quiet reactions from me, my parents, etc. And no one viewed it as a reaction to being bored, etc, because I was "bright". It was written off as possible manic depression (bipolar) and/or teenage hormones.

But, the generalizations about boys, and seeing first hand into a school system of overly medicated boys, I vow to stay on top of DS's educational journey.

I made Senior Patrol Leader over the objections of other parents whose sons were older than I. After that, I quit scouts. I was done. There was nothing left to do. Had I stayed connected, no doubt I could have had other roles when I turned 18.

Scouts can be fun if its approached at the right speed and the other dimensions are exercised such as leadership.