Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Another random question about toddler's reading

I've just been reading the thread about when everyone's children began reading, and I have another burning question... Has anyone had a toddler obsessed with books, but refusing to be read to?

My DD16mos will literally sit for hours going through any book she can get her hands on. It started when she could crawl over to the book shelf at 7mos, and pick books for herself. She turns the pages individually, and points and says things very quietly to herself. The perplexing thing is, if I/DH/DS3 try to read to/with her, she puts the book down and walks away. She is quite verbal, often speaking in (simple) 3/4 word sentences and will accept my input when she's "reading" only if she has approached me and asked a question about the book. Occassionally she will let me just sit near her, although she won't talk. I've watched her (when she thought she was alone) pointing & naming several letters and numbers around the house, and she clearly enjoys it when DS3 and I are going over a book together, although won't sit with us? DS3 has always been the complete opposite (he'll tell people at the bus stop all about his latest book on Space, and ask them to come home to take a look at it!). Anyway, I'm not thinking this is cause for concern, just really curious

Sometimes it is a situation where the "Want to" doesn't match the physical "can do". My DD2 was like that. A book lover from the earliest opportunity and always would want to "do it herself" rather than have it done for her, even when her physical skills did not align with her mental ability. In her case, we found a significant delay in her visual processing skills. When she taught herself to read, she developed her own strategies, some adaptive, some maladaptive. We did not figure this out until she started school and was made to "conform" to skills that were expected at her reading level, such as using her finger to keep her place, moving her head instead of isolated eye movements, etc. When all of these strategies were taken, her reading level went from 3rd grade to <1st grade!!

I am not suggestiong that this is your dd's situation, but rather that you might keep it in the back of your mind as you watch her delight in books as she does.

My DS2 was sort of like that. He would grab a book and insist that he was going to read it... and then get mad and trow the book because he could'nt read it. But I was not allowed to read it. I started out by encouraging him to use the pictures and tell us the story or what has happening in the picture. Then we progressed to picking out common words in the stories and I let him read the words he knows and as long as he could read with me he was fine. He is almost 3 now and we have progresed to finding letter sounds as we read.
It sounds like your daughter is going through an independant phase. My guess would be that she is just trying to be different from your DD3.
My now DD6 used to love looking at books and playing by herself, & she she still has an introvert personality.

My DS12 wasn't like that in reading (he had some visual developmental delays and refused to read at all - only wanted me to read to him, for hours, books that I had no idea were 'too hard' for him- Phantom tollbooth at age 3, etc) but he was like that in Math, and still pretty much is like that in general. Apparently I broadcast what I consider to be useful information 24/7, and he would prefer to be given only what he wants to know 'right now.' I think it's just a personality type.

I stay sane by keeping the old saying: 'You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.' front and center in my mind. Really, I like that he always had 'a personality' or a 'mind of his own' and this seemed pretty normal to me, but shocked everyone else.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

DD3 has gone through two phases of wanting to read everything herself. As a baby, she couldn't get enough of being read to, but then when she started memorizing books she just wanted to recite. I would sit there holding the book while she "read" and only help when asked. She would get so mad if I would try to read it myself or (heaven forbid) correct her. It was pretty agonizing, actually. Then when she started really reading, she did the same thing, even with books that were clearly above her comfort level. She never wanted help. That was the time the "We Both Read" series saved my sanity--because she was willing to follow the rules and just read her part. I think in part because I took it very easy and didn't push at all, she got through both phases with relative ease.

DD3 did that and still does to some extent. SHE wants to read it and observe things for herself.

DS5 was into books way early (it was his favorite snack - haha), and it always amazed me how intensely he focused on things in the books. But he liked us to at least discuss the pictures with him.

I don't think it's something you should be concerned about, at least not at this age.

I've been thinking it's more about DDs personality (introvert) than anything else but Grinity, you might be on to something there. In reading your post, I sort of reflected on interactions with the kids and realised that I too may be inadvertently 'broadcasting information.'

Part of DS3s OE management plan is getting him to use words to describe everything he's thinking/feeling and DH and I are to do the same with him. The result of this is that on the rare occasion DS isn't talking, we are! It's a 50/50 split in our family on personality type, but our household is 100% full-on (thanks to DS and DH!). Quite frankly, I'm with DD - which introvert wouldn't want a quiet moment alone with their favourite book?