Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Advice needed for upcoming mtg with principal

I've mentioned some of this before and apologize for the duplication but I could use any suggestions you have. My son has been having a difficult time in first grade at his Spanish Immersion school. My new understanding is that he is quite gifted in some areas (>99% math WJ III and reading voraciously about the Trojan war/mythology/Odysseus/American Revolution, etc.) and would probably do best with someone who understands him (gifted teachers?). His school is at risk for program improvement (PI) status so there is a huge effort to teach to the bottom middle to raise test scores. We have been told that he has trouble sitting still, often won't do his work, and is preventing other kids from learning because he wants to talk (either personal conversations or answering all the questions the teacher asks).

We have tried on numerous occasions to help figure out what would make everyone happy. He has not been allowed to do EPGY math in class because it's not in Spanish or would be disruptive to the other students. He has no one at his reading level (Frog and Toad was the challenge book while he was reading Edith Hamilton's Mythology) so he has to sit with the class and learn basic English skills then sit in his reading group with kids who do not share his interests. He often gets in trouble for reading his own book, which drives my husband and me crazy since it seems like such an easy solution for keeping him quiet.

Is there a helpful way to explain that your child is actually much more advanced than his peers and needs to work on his own (he was making connections between the cooling/heating mechanism of an elephant's ear and a Dimetrodon's sail before he was 3.5 years old)? It's taken me a long time to be able to say that and it's hard because people around me will think I'm bragging but at the same time there are kids out there who are teaching themselves Greek or doing algebra. Should we try to find someone to check in with him in math and reading once a week? Can we insist that he spend some of his day doing something else? He is, unfortunately, very concerned with social rank and does not want to go to second grade for anything because he doesn't know enough people. I'm also not sure that advancement of one grade would be enough of a challenge, except in writing. I offered to keep him home one day a week and he refused because the kids won't like him anymore. We are looking for another school but we do not want him to have to transition too many times and the GATE school starts in third grade. I'm not convinced the GATE school will meet his needs but it will be closer and I think they will be more flexible.

Does anyone have suggestions for creating a positive conversation with the principal and teachers?

Volcano mom, I'd say it all comes down to the audience. Some teachers and principals are supportive of kids that are extrememly advanced and some are not.

I'd defininately approach with a cooperative tone.

His WJIII results should definately give you some credibility in asking for some kind of accomodation.

My DD9 had that attitude in first grade, that doing anything *different* would cause her social difficulty.

By the middle of third she was begging to be homeschooled.

It all depends on the temperment and personality of the child, IMO, some kids are doing well in elementary and find ways to meet their intellectual needs in school and out, for that matter.

In our district is seems that I've seen more than a few HG kids have a real hard time in school k-3. It is supposed to get much better in the higher grades, if the child can wait that long!!!

A good place to start might be in asking for a meeting with the principal and curriculum person and/or gifted coordinator. Bring in the WJ and tell a little about what's going on. See what they suggest, first, rather than start insisting on specific accomodations. I'm not saying you're wrong to see that as a reasonable course, it's just that in my experience, it runs a little more smoothly if you ask them for a solution and go from there.

Neato

Thank you Neato. We do not have a curriculum person or gifted coordinator for first graders. I just managed to get in touch with the coordinator for the 4th grade, when GATE begins in our district, and after a lengthy conversation she did not have any advice.

It's nice to hear that your child changed her mind about homeschooling. Is she happier now?

I am planning to ask what they suggest and discuss solutions. I'm frustrated because I was asked to join the Site Council specifically to work on enrichment for kids like my son and due to budget cuts, there has been little we could do. I guess my goal is to be as calm as I can be during the conversation. I do not want to make the situation worse!

The principal has already talked with me about how this school is not a good fit for my son. I'm just hoping we can find a way to finish the year and have a plan for next year.

That sounds like a very good plan, it's never easy!

The answer to the question of my daughter being happier.......Yes and no. We decided to partial homeschool and her classroom teacher is hostile to the idea and has taken it out a little on her. On the other hand, my other daughter is doing the same and loving it. Skipping into school happily, skipping out of school happily, yet she had a rough time in K.

So often it comes down to the teacher.

Good luck with everything. It's never easy, but you'll come up with something, I'm sure!

Thank you!

I would love a partial homeschooling solution, assuming the teachers would work with us. Maybe our son's attitude towards it will change.

LOL - can you get him to start the GATE school next year? I would ask if he can be tested with 'end of 3rd grade' GATE program test to prove that he would be fine there next september.

Is he happy or unhappy with going to school each day?

Your son sounds 'way more' than just Moderately Gifted.
Do you have individualized IQ test info on him?

Best Wishes,
Grinity

Thank you! And yes, LOL, GATE school said no. Even though the principal is the nicest person and really gets gifted kids.

DS7 doesn't like to get up for school and it's hard to get him out of the house. It's also amazing how much earlier he gets up on weekends. He's asked to go to another school once but we haven't talked about it very much. I do not want to make him more miserable or to make him think he could go somewhere else if he can't. That said, he defends his school friends and wants to do what they are doing. This morning I almost let him stay home to read the book he can't put down. I had to bite my tongue from saying, "if you stayed home a few hours a week, you could read your book..."

I am thinking about having the admissions person of a new local gifted private school meet with him and offer suggestions. The admissions process is a one-hour assessment visit and the school will be one of our choices if the free GATE school didn't work out.

I've been reading through "Preparing for and holding an effective meeting" (http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10111.aspx) and "Advocating for Exceptionally Gifted Young People: A Guidebook" (http://www.davidsongifted.org/youngscholars/Article/Davidson_Young_Scholars___Guidebooks_375.aspx). It's really helpful to have this community and the amazing resources!

Next year we will go through a more rigorous testing process as we apply to the GATE public 3rd grade and private schools. In the meantime, we've applied for the Young Scholars Program and hope DS7's application meets the criteria. The application is helping us prepare for our school meeting and I'm considering bringing the videos we used for one of the portfolio pieces since I doubt the teachers have seen him playing "Odysseus" at school.

Plus, we just received "The Last Olympian" (Percy Jackson & The Olympians last book) so DS7 is happily entertained.

Good luck with the app process

Thank you!



Thank you and I agree. Helping meet DS7s educational needs is a new and scary venture. I work full-time and have been spending my evenings looking for resources.

Our principal just told me we could take official notes at our meeting so they can count for next year and help form an educational plan. It was such a relief.