Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Hothousing -- random thoughts

Val mentioned in another thread about 'hothousing' with a negative connotation was bothering her; I've been thinking about that, too. BTW, I'm going to give personal examples, but I'm secure enough in my decisions that I don't worry if anyone disagrees with my methods.

GS9 has almost no homework. I hear other kids in his class take up to an hour/day doing homework; at least 30 minutes on the average. I give him nonfiction books to read for AR, often they correspond with a subject he's studying in school, I have logic puzzle books, Singapore Challenging Word problems, history books, etc., that I expect him to work in 30 minutes(total) or so most nights. Some things he considers great fun, other things he'd choose not to do if it was his choice. Is this hothousing, or is this teaching him how to apply himself to an appropriate educational challenge -- that he's not getting at school!

How about cultures where the children attend school longer than our 5.5 hour schoolday, and then go home and do more work assigned by the parents to improve their chances of getting into a university? Are they harming their children, even if the child would rather be playing video games?

If we have a spectrum with allowing a child to watch TV or play video games all the time on one end and at the other end the child is drilled constantly to memorize facts, I think we need to keep toward the center. And if your kiddo is coming up for some standardized achievement testing, I see nothing wrong with reviewing the concepts tested to fill in any holes that are easily filled.

I agree completely, OHG. Moderation in all things...

I think the major issue for me is with very young kids--but maybe that's just because my daughter is only 3. It's the flashcards my mother-in-law bought (which DD uses to throw all over the floor and "skate" on) and the your-baby-can-read systems that my aunt recommended (because I haven't told her that DD has already taught herself). And, to a lesser extent, the electronic games (yes, including starfall, which DD uses) that are meant to teach but are disguised as toys. I don't think a limited amount of any of these things is awful...but I can definitely see them being misused.

For older kids, I think the issue is just whether they have enough free time to play. Free play is absolutely essential to a child's (adult's?) mental and emotional health, creativity, empathy, etc. Sometimes (typically?) free play is educational. I know I loved logic puzzles and other "smart" toys as a kid. There's nothing wrong with that.

I guess the other issue for me--and I guess it shows my unschooling sympathies--is that I don't think it is helpful to force children to learn things they don't want to learn. More or less ever. I think kids learn so much better when they are into learning.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a longer school day, depending on what the school day looks like and whether the kids enjoy it. I do think there is plenty of evidence that long school days full of discipline and drilling produce children who do great on tests but have mental health problems.

To be honest my issues with hothousing is more an age thing, specifically infants/toddlers. I haven't really given too much thought of later years b/c academics are very much a part of their lives. Reading through your examples I don't really see anything that screams hothousing but more trying to challenge him beyond the school curriculum that clearly isn't challenging if he has not homework to bring home. And as for the standardized tests ... the only real criticism I could make on that is schools do this all the time: devote how many weeks to the review process keeping with the flow of teaching to the test. Now if one uses the standardized test information to make sure all the basics are covered before moving on ... that is a little different.

But basically ... such a gray zone and when I think about hothousing my issue is more with people forcing curriculum down their infant/toddler's throat when the child has shown no interest in it. Why can't they be babies and toddlers? Why is it so important for them to know their shapes and colors by 18 months? It really is a bragging right for the parent and that is my issue with it. And yes ... my child knew those and a whole lot more so pot calling the kettle black I am sure but the major difference was I never had a curriculum and had no intention of teaching my child a thing. She was in love with books and brought book after book over to be read and from this she learned all of the basics.

Well put, KM and no5.

I think that sort of pressure you're describing also assumes that kids aren't learning *anything* when they're not learning *what the parent wants them to learn*. That seems very disrespectful of the child to me, as well as wrongheaded about education in general.

I agree that the free play time is really vital, and there's a lot of important learning going on there. Is it fun? I hope so. But at an early elementary school age and below, it's also how kids learn best!

The choices are not solely between mindless TV and flashcard drills. There are other options.

As kids get older, things change somewhat. Kids have goals they want to reach, kids have educational needs--like getting into a certain class so that they can learn--that might require extra study time. But that's respecting the child's goals and needs. That's not hothousing to me.

My DD4 goes to in-home daycare with about 12 kids aged 0-5.

The woman who owns the daycare business (DDC for Dear Day Care?) does "school." The kids learn their colors and shapes, days of the week, counting (including odds/evens), etc. They also do tons of arts & crafts and learn about holidays. It's basically a pre-school (and she's an amazing teacher). The kids love it --- even the homework, which she prints from the web and which usually says "Kindergarten skills" at the bottom.

At some point, DDC decided to teach the basics of reading. All the kids learn their sounds and how to sound out words. Again, they seem to love it. No one "has" to go to school, but when DDC says "it's time for school," the kids table is always full and a few have to sit at the kitchen table.

My point is that I think that a lot of kids can learn skills well before they're supposed to according to educators. I don't see anything wrong with teaching them, even if they aren't asking for it themselves. In fact, if they like it, I think it's a good thing.

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I guess my issue with the term hothousing as I've seen it used here (not always, but sometimes) is that I see it as an accusation at people who are presumed to be acting out of selfish motives. Like I said, I don't know what others are thinking, and I think it's unfair to imply that "they're ruining it for us" as though there are two adversarial camps.

Again, my guess is that the reality is probably the 99th %ile+/rarity problem rather than something due to selfish hothousers.

(NB I'm sure there are people who force learning on their kids, just as their are people who make their kids miserable by making them compete at sports at a young age).

Val

I think my DS is "hothousing" himself! I'm being forced into Algebra and Chinese....Some days it soo hard to be his mom!

I think hothousing is an attitude. I had too many neighbors and moms at the local moms group ask me what program I used or how I got my DS to do this or that. I had one mom describe how she had her 9 month old in the high chair and would show him a flash card and if he said the right word she'd give him a little bite of lunch. No answer, no lunch. It was "Pavlovian training" she called it. I call that hothousing. Give the baby his darned lunch and talk to him about what's on the plate!

I've had other people give me the "oh poor him" look like I have tortured him into learning to read or something. Trust me, having him read has been more of a curse than a blessing- I have to watch what I type!

To me, the selfishness is *the* defining feature of hothousing. That's why I don't claim to know if a person is hothousing or not, would not accuse someone of doing it. If I were to see something that made me think it was hothousing, it would have to be such an extreme case as to border on child abuse, I suspect. I've never seen anything remotely close to that.

That's also why I say that if a parent is aware enough to ask if s/he's hothousing, s/he's almost certainly not!

It's interesting juxtaposing this conversation with the book I'm currently reading, the Power of Play by David Elkind. He discusses how play, love and work complement, not oppose, each other during each major phase of children's growth.

He asserts that when play, love, and work are all involved, learning and development are most effective. Based on that, I would say hothousing would be work divorced from play and love.

Elkind described a mother showing her 8-month old flash cards with pictures of presidents on them because "if you stick with it, they will come through for you." He describes this failure to take the needs, interests and abilities of the learner into account and this also sounded like a good description of hothousing.

Reading it has confirmed much of my judgment about what crosses the line between finding a child's zone of proximal development (or the "sweet spot" as Kriston put it so well) to hothousing.