Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Gifted or just bright

Such a quandry

When turn 8-9-10, will average out?

Haha, I am still in denial aren't I? LOL

Fear: When older, maybe when turn 8, 9, 10, be 'normal' and all the friends who knows will say HA, what were ya thinking -- you thought your kid was special/gifted/bright?

Fear: When older, maybe when turn 10-12-14-16, start asking about the meaning of life and I won't have a satisfying answer, esp. with all the awful things that happen in the world.

I'm thinking too much.

Hi Jesse, wanted to welcome you to this forum.

Yes, it's a quandry I am familiar with. I have a child who is very 'bright', mg, according to the psychologist/tester. Ds has some processing speed issues, like a lot of gifted kids. Although he does well at school he doesn't necessarily light up the standardized / iq tests.

He might miss out on next year's gt program, but we are keeping our fingers crossed he does not. He has been in it this year and really really blossomed. It does seem well suited to his abilities, although he still complains of being bored in his regular class, states he would enjoy harder math, less boring books to read, etc. In addition to boredom, he does not feel like he fits in the regular class, and being in the program he has met several kids who enjoy his company and vice versa, so that is a real breakthrough for him.

I think from what I've read from a lot of parents on this forum and even some kids, that even/especially extremely or profoundly gifted kids can and often do end up floundering in the school systems, and frankly I imagine that not just educators but parents themselves begin to wonder 'maybe we were wrong, and he/she's not that gifted, etc., etc.' Seems no matter the level of giftedness, things don't end up being cut-and-dried. And of course, the further out on the ends of the bell curve, the less likely these kids are to find folks with whom they fit - if not the major factor, certainly one of the major factors in having a decent life.

All in all, it's good to know there's at least a few kids sort of like our ds in the school, rather than having to come to a realization that there isn't a kid in three counties like him. I do feel for those families, too. Our youngest child might have even more trouble fitting, based on what we are seeing.

As for getting a real 'bead' on an 'log', that seems to be a lifelong journey.

We're all in this sort of odd, mixed bag boat together. Welcome aboard.

My son is 11 and was tested at age 4-had an IQ of 143. Most of the time, he does not seem all that gifted to me. He does very well in math, and was reading at age 4, but wasn't doing calculus at age 6 like some children you hear about. To me, my son seems like a "typical" child most of the time. Maybe I am missing something with him...but he does not seem to fit the profile, either.

Hi Suzanne, and welcome, too

Sometimes it's hard for parents of gifted kids to understand that their kids are not entirely normal, because the parents too are unusual in a lot of the same ways.

I didn't have a ton of friends either, I read before k, I am not a numbers whiz but have extroardinary logic and very strong visual spatial ability, and my vocabulary is, well, really good. So, when the testing doctor asked why we think our ds has a good vocab. or might be very visual, not many specific 'wow!' scenarios came to mind. Part of my answer to that one was that he's able to keep up with us, and we're not dumbing down our speech around him. Also, a few other people have remarked on his speaking and vocab. And, it's partly that he's interested in and asks about the meanings of some pretty unusual words. It still sounds somewhat lame to me...but are most 8 year olds asking what a chimera is, or what is the etymology of 'dragon'?

He definitely asks when he doesn't know or can't figure something out, but still he doesn't have many questions when reading...does that make sense? (he's figuring a lot of stuff out by context or other clues, taking in info). When we sit in the car and he isn't reading or day dreaming (he is a big time dreamer/drawer) he will have lots of out-there questions.

Further, there are definitely levels of giftedness - 143 is nothing to sneeze at! (but tests do vary, and numbers from one test/one year to the next can be very different too)

Also, giftedness is more about potential and sometimes that potential takes finding the right level of challenge and subject matter, if you keep reading around here you will find out more about that. Just curious if he is in a gt program or accelerated at all now? Is he doing ok/happy?

We (I) started looking into this because I didn't understand why this incredibly cool kid (imho) was having such trouble making friends, of all things. If he hadn't had that particular problem, I might not have done much in the way of finding out about gt, but once I started reading, it did seem to fit in a lot of ways and he has been much happier this year since being in that program.

Thanks for the welcome!
He is not in any gifted programs because we homeschool, but even if we didn't, there are no gifted programs in our local public school and no magnet schools in our state. We do have a few private schools (I think 2) in our area-maybe they have gifted programs-I don't know. We have always homeschooled and yes, he is happy and doing well.

I am sooo not gifted-maybe that is why I don't see it in my son that much. My husband is very, very smart/gifted which must be where our son gets it. He is going to have to take over teaching math very soon as my son is wayyyy better than I am in math!!

Hey, don't underestimate your kiddo, mine actually appeared just as yours did, in fact, not nearly as smart seeming from what I can recall, and finally she gets accepted into gifted program in 5th grade and all of the sudden shes cranking out high percentile SAT scores, perfect standardized testing scores, and college reading levels. In 1st grade she was just "another bright kid." Now shes gifted and possibly HG. Don't worry about it! It sounds like you have a really bright kid, and if you can get him (him?) involved in gifted programs early on when he's blossoming, then he should be set up for the rest of school. Good luck!

Thanks for your responses.

I often go from denial to acceptance and back to denial within a few minutes.



But the moment I verbalize the fact that kid is suppose to be in K this year but can do some Gr.2 work -- then I'm back to acceptance. Then I go back to ... nah, lots of kids can do this but have been unmeasured or ignored by teachers who have too many kids to deal with (mostly those who don't meet the grade). If you're kid can do more, then what else do they need to help your kid with.

Oh well ... It is great to read other parents and their viewpoints too.

Thanks.

Suzanne,

Welcome to the craziness that is being owned by a GT!! Because you're homeschooling, you can target the areas that DS needs to move more quickly through. That's all most GT programs do, present the material at a faster pace. It also gives you the ability to "go wide" and offer up subjects that are not looked at normally until high school if at all. Things like languages, entymology, sciences etc.