Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Taking the Plunge...Starting Homeschooling

Just want to say thanks to all the folks on this website that have kindly offered me homeschooling advice. After a horrible meeting with the school last week, we have finally decided to file a homeschooling notice with the county (giving them their required 15 day notice).

Warning! The following is pure venting:

We wanted our DS6 to stay in school and tried to work with the school to make the principal, teachers, etc. happy. However, it became very clear to us that keeping them happy meant sacrificing our son's happiness.

We went to our meeting with the following ideas: teach the hardest idea first and then go backwards if necessary, present material quickly and then allow longer periods to concentrate on work, and recognize that he can concentrate on many things at once so while it may appear that he is distracted...he is actually engaged.

The principal's response was to say she was taking away his recess until he buckles down and completes his work in the allotted time. This would continue for 8 weeks, or the end of the school year. No special work would be given until he proved he could do the easy work. And, he needed to learn to play the school game to be successful in life.

When we asserted that this would crush any hope that he has left about being happy at school, we were told that wasn't their problem. They were there to teach academics, not worry about the social implications.

We let him go to the school the next day (my volunteer day), and when I saw him, he had just received the news about his new no recess rule. As we suspected, he was devastated. I asked him if he thought that would make him want to do the work, he said no. He was so sad and helpless.

This is a kid who studies immunology for fun and can sketch out the process of mitosis while explaining how DNA is transferred/replicated. And, intuitively started exploring the laws of motion yesterday after considering how a wheel rotates. Needless to say, we (mostly I) couldn't take it anymore and pulled the plug on school.

We are going to see how the next couple of months go and then decide if he goes back next year. Since we have two other children in the school, we will remain connected and that should make any necessary transitions easier for us.

Sorry for the long venting...perhaps there's someone else out there who will benefit.

M6,

Just remeber that the first 8 weeks don't count. You have to give yourself time to get over the "I can't do this" and the "what was I thinking" parts first!

Once you get past that, it's awesome. You get to watch your amazing little person grow right before your eyes and you can stop for a snuggle anytime you want! Nothing better.... Enjoy

I feel your pain and have children in different places with the public school to not attending public school at all, based on the needs of that child. I'm glad to hear that you didn't give in to the pressure and keep him in school. It can be a scary decision to make. It sounds like you have one very smart little guy, and having been there, it would be devistating to allow him to loose that love of learning.

We had a similar response with my DD9 about completing simple assigments before she was allowed higher ones. She gave up and wouldn't even complete the simple ones in the end. I don't understand how a teacher could think that this would motivate a GT kid over time?

Hang in there. Your situation is pretty much exactly what we went through--including missed recesses and taking too long to finish easy work, which (wrongly!) became the thing the teacher focused on. Homeschooling has been hugely successful for us. DS7 is so much happier and healthier (mentally speaking).

I'm sorry the school wouldn't work with you, but I suspect homeschooling will be a success for your son.

Vent away! And if there's anything we can do to help you beyond just listening, please say so. Many of us have been where you are...

melmichigan, I don't understand how the teachers/principals can think this is motivating either. I think their main objective (in our case) is to mold him into being compliant. He has already tested out of the third grade on our state standardized tests, so it is hard to believe that they don't know he is beyond the basic first grade work.

Shari, thanks for the encouragement! I am meeting with a homeschool counselor tomorrow to talk about how I can get some support for the remainder of the school year. I am hoping that having a shoulder to lean on will help me through these first few weeks.

Kriston, thanks for being so nice! I'm already starting to get some unrequested advice from friends.

They are not concerned with his mental health? Then that is no place for him.

HS even under these situations can have an adjustment period. Also, your son may need some time to deschool. THere is even a formula for it....something like a month off for every year in school. I've even read up to 6months off. Other kids need to jump into challenge right away. I would start off by asking him what he wants to learn about and then add in each other thing slowly.

The one argument I had with someone about homeschooling came right after we decided to do it, when I was at my most nervous and insecure.

I wish I had realized it was best to walk away from that unsolicited advice until I was more confident about what we were doing. Now unsolicited advice doesn't bother me at all. I KNOW we're doing the best thing we could under the circumstances for DS7, and I can hear the advice without taking it personally. (Though actually, now that I feel good about homeschooling, my confidence keeps a lot of that advice from even being said. People don't give advice to confident people! Go figure! )

In other words, I think that if you can listen to the advice and let it roll off you if it doesn't help you, then great. If you feel the urge to defend your choice, then learn to change the subject fast and/or walk away. It will save you headaches. Eventually, the comments won't bug you so much.

M6, Do you live in our district? Hehe We pulled our DS6 in Jan and have been unschooling. He has finally started to show some signs of my idea of "school readiness". It took me a while to figure out where he was in his subjects as far as curriculum. It was very scary at first but getting better. Good luck fellow 'homeschool plunger'.

M6, it sounds like your son was in a horrible situation. It's so hard when the school's priority is not the best interest of the kids. I don't homeschool (though I think about it often) but I wanted send along my well-wishes!