Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Advice/Rant.. ..Cultural Diversity Project?

Hello All,
Just wanted to get some feed back from you regarding continued issues with DS11. Briefly, have posted before re him questioning Inattentive ADD vs Gifted vs. Anxiety. His teacher has leaned heavily toward ADD and medication all year. Last month we visited Dr. Amend for testing. I am awaiting "official" results, however have talked with Dr. Amend and we have an official primary diagnosis of Anxiety, and DS tested around the 85% for most areas, and at a 95% for math reasoning. Not "gifted" but certainly bright. I emailed the teacher about 3-4 weeks ago regarding test results, and requested a conference to review results and potential 504 suggestions. I never rec'd a reply. Mid-Terms came home last Monday. DS is getting a D+ in Math and C+/B- in Language.
( From a student who has never rec'd a "mid term" and always gotten mostly A's.) I e-mailed again with no reply.

In the meantime I feel like the teacher has really started to " pick on " DS. On last weeks pre-spelling test, he spelled the word biologist correctly, but because his "o" looked like an "e" he was marked wrong. He stated this to the teacher, and she still counted it. Had he got this word right, it would have gotten him out of the test at the end of the week.

Students receive "white slips" to be signed if they miss an assignment or don't follow directions. If they receive three in a month they are not allowed to attend a "good citizen lunch" at the end of the month. DS left three assignments home yesterday, and she sent three white slips home with him, instead of putting it on one.

Finally, the entire 5th grade has a cultural diversity project due next week that is a large part of their social studies grade. The directions were to pick a country of their heritage and do a tri-fold board depicting history, culture, food, trade, etc. The directions stated that they were not allowed to use "America" as a country. We happen to have a Native American background that I have researched extensively, and I thought that instead of adding to the number of German or Irish projects, one that reflected Native Americans would be a nice addition to the class.

I finally received an e mail back today after I left a voicemail yesterday. The teacher confirmed a conference time
( in two weeks!) let me know about DS's missing assignments, and pointed out that "No, we will not be reasearching our Native American History at this time".

Am I out of line at being really p o'd at this? Should I just go with the flow until our conference? Anyone have any input?
I have more examples but thought that I would put up the most obvious ones.
Thanks!

bumping

Hi jbr - I think I would also be po'd with some of this, but it seems that you might be better off taking a step back, trying to be cooperative, and waiting for the conference in 2 weeks. This teacher seems on the defensive now, and you'll have to work to get her out of that mode.

I would be especially irked with the native american comment "we will not be studying our native american history" - sounds like she's discounting your roots. But then again, it's an email, and things are always left out. Maybe this cultural "diversity" project is aligned with a european studies or something. But what would she do if she had a student who was 100% native american?! At this time, though, I'd say go along with teacher until you can (hopefully) sort things out.

good luck! I know it would be hard for me to be civil to someone who seems intent on making things difficult for my child, but there could just be some great misunderstanding.

I would really be upset about the 504 not being implemented. I think I'd go to the principal if it was not handled before grading period. My only advice there is to not worry about grades, since it wasn't in place, and just focus on whether he is learning or not for now.

About the cultural diversity project...I can understand that American Indians should be represented, but I'm thinking that the teacher's comment about not learning this "at this time" means that it will come up later - perhaps a whole unit?

I don't know where you live, but I know in CA, 5th grade spends a good part of the year learning about Am Indians all over the country, so maybe that's around the corner? If so, maybe your child would be interested in sharing or contributing to the unit, making it more personal to the class.

I read this last night, but had a hard time knowing what to say.

I felt much the same way about what was happening with my DS7's 1st grade teacher. It was a very bad situation. And we pulled him out of her class for homeschooling mid-year. I'm not sure that's a helpful story for you to hear though...

If you're going to advocate, then I think you need to try to get on the same team as the teacher. It sounds like that's not going to be an easy thing to do because you're angry and she's defensive and possibly acting punitively toward your DS11. That can be a hard situation to come back from.

I think I would apologize to her for the Native American thing. It sounds like she thinks you just ignored her, and that probably puts you in a very bad light with her. That's not where you want to be with her right now.

I do think that if you were asking if it was okay and if you explained your family situation and research into your Native American heritage, then you and your DS were not wrong to try to use that. (Provided you asked first.) But right and wrong don't matter right now. What matters is building a bridge with this teacher.

Keep your eye on the goal: improving your child's educational situation. Everything else is secondary! Let go of your anger and focus on improving the situation.

Easier said than done, I know...

Let me clarify... I only asked about the Native American thing, the project is not due until next week, and I specifically asked her permission in my voicemail to her. Her reply yesterday was clear, and we will be working on a project about Hungary instead. (Going with the flow, here.)
I don't think for a second that she is angry ( frustrated, but not angry). FWIW the project is in line with a whole "cultural diversity" night that the school is having, and families can pay for admission to view the projects, sample food, hear speakers, and it is not limited to Europe. Japan, China, Saudi, Africa, and Mexico are all projects kids are doing.

I do think that she doesn't like the fact that we have a diagnosis of anxiety instead of ADHD. DS was in tears last night because he didn't understand his math homework, when pressed on why, he stated that he was so anxious about receiving 3 white slips that he couldn't focus on the math lesson.
Wouldn't she understand what that does to a kid?
We may never get an "official" 504 plan, but I at least thought that she would be open to implementing some ideas that Dr. Amend had, and not only is it taking forever to talk to her, she seems to be going in the opposite direction.
We are certainly focused on what is the best thing for DS. It's just frustrating fighting an up hill battle.

Right. I said you were probably angry. Not her. (Maybe I'm wrong there...I just know I was angry in a similar situation.)

She seems defensive.

Master of none;

I agree whole heartedly with you. Prior to our appt with Dr. Amend, we had a meeting with the teacher and the counselor. They both voiced what their primary concerns were regarding DS. They were well aware of our prior attempts to work with a psychologist here, our "trials" with different medications, and what we were doing at home to help DS. They both applauded husband and I for taking this next big step. So when I e-mailed her after the visit, with preliminary results, I did specifically mention his findings, including the diagnosis of Anxiety, some brief test scores, and suggestions for a possible "504" ( Honestly, I NEVER expect a 504, but was hoping to implement suggestions) Maybe in hindsight I was naive in e-mailing all of this info, but like I said, I really thought we were somewhat on the same page and wanted to get things rolling ASAP, plus I was excited to finally have some answers. Lesson learned. However, now that things are going decidedly down hill, I would think that she would welcome suggestions and info.
I feel like she is magnifying what we already know the issues are, without seeking out solutions in a timely matter.

Kriston, if you are still reading, you are right, I am/was angry. It's that Mother Bear instinct rising. I posted last night after laying awake stewing. That's why I love posting here, I get some rational feedback from an outside perspective.

Still reading.

I certainly sympathize!

Hi JBR3610. I was in a similar situation with DS6. I had a hard time getting on the same page as 1st grade teacher. We also,like Kriston, ended up homeschooling him. They tried to peg the ADHD title on DS and his dad and I could not accept that. He was eventually diagnosed with anxiety. Once out of the situation his anxiety, ADHD symptoms, etc have all but gone away completely. FWIW. Hope you get some answers. Good luck.