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I rarely have to discipline my son because he knows he would be grounded from the computer. But the few times I have done this he thought I treated him unfairly. When he thinks he is treated unfairly he doesn't react right away and he doesn't forget about it either. He waits until he finds the perfect opportunity to get even with me by pointing out things I do. He tries to catch me doing something that might be seen as similar in some way to what he got in trouble for. He doesn't come right out as say Mom, you are a big hypocrite, he just remembers word for word what I said to him and gladly repeats these words and then compares what he and I did and then says something like "Do you think that maybe that is just a little hypocritical?"

And he picks up on the fact that I feel kind of mean when I make him work on handwriting issues that he has difficulty with and that I am making him work on "endurance" when it comes to writing. He was very quick to point out that he heard me complain that it was wrong for the school to not offer any accommodations for his mild motor learning disability, but then make him work so much on this in our homeschooling. Today he told me he was getting a bad headache but he probably shouldn't bother asking me for Tylenol because I would just want him to work on his endurance and insist that he just learn to "endure" the headaches. The OT he saw only six times last year nicknamed him Mr. Drama.

Ah, that's IT! That's what we have here at our house. It's the DRAMA! Ack!

Me too!!!!

Me three. I say to DD 26 mos., "I am the mama and you are the baby. The mama makes the rules, the baby follows the rules." You mean it gets worse?

Me four!

Recently my brother, a confirmed batchelor came to stay and
had a nasty shock when ds talked back, argued and negotiated his point of view incessantly. Finally in exasperation he turned to ds who was in mid rant and said, "one adult, one vote. Zip it!"

I have now adopted this. Makes me feel better anyway.

I often ask ds when he in the midst of some emotional outburst,
"When you get your Oscar, can I sit in the front row?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Love that! I may steal it for use with DS4, my drama king!

Yes big on the drama here as well. I'll borrow that one as well!

This is so reassuring that others have little lawyers in their homes. I love it when the grandparents tell me that I let him "argue" way too much as if this is something I foster here at home. I have adopted the saying, "Now is not the time for an explanation. Remind me when we get home/later and I will explain it." Sometimes he forgets and I don't have to explain it. I use it very sparingly and it really has helped eliminate the bartering. I like to use the whole "trust-guilt" thing too. "You just need to trust me on this one."

I have found that being very clear about when discussion is allowed and when a decision is already made and discussion is closed helps.

I'm a big fan of the "tell me why you think that will work" sort of conversation BEFORE I make a decision. But I get very cranky if debate is pressed on me after I've made the decision. My usual response: "I heard you. You had your chance to make your case. The decision has been made and discussion time is over." If he were to keep talking, there would be consequences.

My little lawyer is generally quite good at letting it go once he has been heard, even if I decide against him because he knows that if his argument is a good one, I will sometimes decide his way. I think that's rewarding logical thought and civil discourse, and I'm okay with that.

But I don't decide first and then discuss. Not ever! That's problematic!

BeckyC, we have a copy of "The Explosive Child" because our preschool counselor recommended it last year. I haven't read it yet, because once it came and I read some of the intro I wasn't sure it really fit our son. And it kind of scared me . . . but maybe we could find some tools that would work. Sounds like you all did!

Ditto all the above here. Our son is a little lawyer also and WILL NOT STOP! We took Love and Logic classes but it didn't work well for us. What has worked better is 1-2-3 Magic. If I get tired of the negotiating. I just say, "We're not talking about it anymore." If he keeps it up then I count 1-2-3 and he's off to his room. Sometimes I have to physically carry him there though b/c he's pitching a fit! I DO wonder what's going to happen when he gets older and bigger! Yikes!

He fortunately does not have meltdowns in public anymore. He just saves them for us at home!