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    #37759 02/11/09 03:03 PM
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    skyward Offline OP
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    Hi, Just need to vent a little. Today was a rough day. I had this great day planned out for DD4, DD2 and baby. We were going to get lunch and go out and do some fun stuff. We never made it to our first destination. frown

    DD4 is very high energy! She was bouncing off the walls so much right from the beginning that I was worried. We stopped by the library to pick up some books. I reminded DD4 several times to calm down and let her know she was getting to wild and to remember to stay with me and listen. In the end both kids, DD4 and DS2 following her, took off while I was checking out. I had to chase them down with baby in the stroller and take them back to the car with DD2 trying to escape and DD4s barrage of excited loud questioning about why we were not getting our books.

    When we got back to the car I explained that I could not take them anywhere if they did not listen and stay with me. And that I did not want them to get lost or stolen.(DD4 got lost at the science museum a week ago.) We went home and ate lunch. I told them it was nap time. I gave DD her piles of stuff to do in her room and told her not to come out because it was quiet time and I needed to get DD2 and baby to sleep.

    She came out 5 times in 20 min. mad The first time I asked her why she was not listening and she said that what she had to show me was so cool that she had to come out right away. She showed me a book on Egypt. I took her back to her room and told her again that she needed to stay there and let me get siblings to sleep. She came out again to ask a question, and again to tell me her finger hurt, and again to tell me about a book she was reading. She just will not stop.

    I am getting pretty frustrated. I tried to talk to her about listening but she is just all over the place talking about everything under the sun, unrelated to the situation. I asked her what her deal today was and she said she is just excited about life and gave me a cheesy grin. I sent her down stairs for awhile to get some energy out. Some days I just don't know what to do with her. Any advice, outside observations or similar stories about your children`s behavior or OEs?

    skyward #37770 02/11/09 04:42 PM
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    Yes, we definitely have stories about similar experiences; to tell you the truth I am so exhausted today I can't even type it out - and I didn't even have dd for the whole day! (up half the night and cranky for the last several days is part of it, might be getting sick but it is sooooo hard to tell!)

    Ug.

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    ((hugs))Skyward!
    It's a shame that the library trip was ruined. If she didn't get the point this time, I would consider one of those baby leashs for next time. Just the threat of that might communicate how serious you are. The other approach is to only allow a very short visit (10 minutes)to the library next time, perhaps to pick out one book per kid. The reward for sticking to your side is a longer visit next time.(15 minutes -2 books!) Try and remember that just packing up the car and getting the kids in is a major adventure at this point, and the destinations aren't the main point.

    We also have a family whistle, and were all trained and rewarded for 'finding mom' within a slow count of 5 when were heard it. If dogs can learn to do this, then a child who is practicing for the day when she will have earned the privilage of going off on her own, can definitly do this. Perhaps this is a wake up call that she is 'ready' to learn to spend some short periods of time exploring on her own.

    Also - when we used to go to the library, I would check out the books AS they were selected, so that we could litterally leave at a moments notice with the books. The idea beinging that a swift consequence is more memorable than one that occurs 'later.'

    DS12, at 4 couldn't entertain himself for 4 minutes. And I didn't have a baby or middle child around either! Unless the TV was on. I would consider getting some 'Science DVDs' and letting her watch during your naptime.

    I would take a look at what kinds of physical exertion you can set up as part of the day 'before' trips into public spaces. I like the book 'Parents, Children, and Power Struggles.' It's so hard to know if you are being 'too hard' or 'too easy' on these little ones who talk so logically, but act their age.

    Perhaps you can figure out some 'loud and active' group activities that you can use to pace your day. I'm thinking vacuming for some reason. Maybe Flylady.net and the Housefairy might help?

    ((humor alert)) Whoes OE's are you talking about? Her 'overMotor' or your 'overSensory?'

    Anything you can do to nurture yourself right now - do it! Check the locals for a homeschooling 13 year old who can come over and run them around a few times a week, yes? A high schooler who needs community service hours? A surrogate grandmother?

    Here's a little story.

    When DS was about 3, DH and I still wanted to take him to resturants. Keeping him entertained was a big deal. So I asked my more experienced SIL: 'Is it ok to let him play with the butter knife if it keeps him quiet at a resturant?'

    Her Answer: 'If it keeps them quiet at a resturant, I'd let my kids play with a chainsaw!'

    I can't even type these words without getting tears of laughter! And that was 10 years ago!

    Anyway it sounds like on most days your DD behaves remarkably well. Sorry this one was hard.

    Smiles,
    Grinty


    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
    Grinity #37786 02/11/09 06:09 PM
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    What a frustrating day!

    After the day I had with DD5, I might be willing to negotiate a swap. It doesn't help that I'm tired because she had to wake me up last night to tell me that her arm itched.

    lily #37793 02/11/09 06:33 PM
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    I'm so sorry you had such a rough day. It sounds pretty typical to me. Sadly, I end up buying a lot of books because we haven't been to the library since the time we were *kicked out* when my twin boys were around 2. And we had been in the rather large children's section. (LOL now that I have five, I don't even take them to the supermarket all together unless the situation is dire. At least they do learn to listen better as they get older - now I'm just so far outnumbered...)

    I say give yourself a treat - a take-out dinner, or a glass of wine after they're in bed, a piece of chocolate, etc. Seriously, you deserve a little moment of sanity, or at least comfort. (That's why I pop onto the internet so often during the day smile )

    (LOL Lily about your dd waking you up to tell you her arm itched. We have had to lay down strict rules about which types of emergencies they may wake me up for; not that they follow them. Lately I wish I could tell DS5 to fix his own nosebleed but I'd feel too mean.)

    Hang in there. This ride isn't for the faint of heart. At least there's never a dull moment!
    smile

    Grinity #37796 02/11/09 06:41 PM
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    We have a special puzzle book full of mazes, word searchs etc. that stays in the car. The only time DS6 gets to use it is when we go to restaurants or places that I need him to be quiet. Because that's the only time he gets it, it's worked pretty well.


    Shari
    Mom to DS 10, DS 11, DS 13
    Ability doesn't make us, Choices do!
    Grinity #37809 02/11/09 08:48 PM
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    Originally Posted by Grinity
    When DS was about 3, DH and I still wanted to take him to resturants. Keeping him entertained was a big deal. So I asked my more experienced SIL: 'Is it ok to let him play with the butter knife if it keeps him quiet at a resturant?'

    Her Answer: 'If it keeps them quiet at a resturant, I'd let my kids play with a chainsaw!'


    BWHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH!!!

    We let Mr W play with lemons!! He gets so puckered up, he can't talk!!!

    skyward #37820 02/11/09 10:14 PM
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    Originally Posted by skyward
    Hi, Just need to vent a little. Today was a rough day. I had this great day planned out for DD4, DD2 and baby. We were going to get lunch and go out and do some fun stuff. We never made it to our first destination. frown

    DD4 is very high energy! She was bouncing off the walls so much right from the beginning that I was worried.

    Oh, do I know your pain. I have a DS8, a DS6, and a DD4, so the age spread is the same.

    We had to stop taking DS8 to restaurants when he was around 4 months old because of his behavior. He would fuss, fidget wildly, and even scream in his high chair. If we let him out, he'd crawl away and/or demand attention from us. No amount of attention was ever enough, and no toy could entertain him for long. This continued until he was around 5 (years, not months).

    A couple weeks ago, I took all three to Whole Foods. The boys took off constantly and no amount of cajoling could get them to just STAY CLOSE and NOT GRAB THINGS. The aisles in that particular store are super-narrow and the whole place is so jam-packed with merchandise that finding them becomes an exercise in pain and suffering.

    My DS6 takes off constantly to "go exploring." He's fully aware of what he's doing and knows he shouldn't, but he doesn't care because he thinks he might find a cool rock or a big pine cone. And to be fair, he usually does.

    Don't even get me started on the two boys and their constant physical altercations. I arrived at school today and could hear DS6 howling at DS8 through the door.

    My mother always says that my sisters and I were very high energy, and at some point she decided that having balls of high energy was better than having lumps of dough. I think of this idea sometimes, and it helps. A little.

    It will also get better. Given that your baby is less than a year old, you're may still be in that part where handling three kids at once seems to be completely impossible. Going from one to two was so easy (for me) in comparison to going from two to three! If you're still there, I promise you this: things will get easier. And I also promise that they'll get easier to handle as they get older.

    When DS8 was DS2weeks, I was at a shop one Saturday afternoon while my husband watched him. I saw all these families walking around, and they all looked so normal. You know: well rested, calm, wearing clean clothes, and moving with purpose. I watched them pass by and felt like our family would never be like that and that I'd be still be feeding DS at 3 am when he was 16. Rationally, I knew this wasn't true, but I was exhausted and stressed out and I couldn't see how he'd ever get from point A (3 am feedings) to point B (walking, eating, and being able to fasten a seat belt by himself). And now I have a kid who eats dinner and then sleeps all night. He can also fasten his own seat belt (and then continue to antagonize his sibs...).

    Have you thought about sending DD4 to day care for two days per week? In-home day care can be a great social outlet. My boys still go back to their day care house for the parties after school (e.g. the Valentine's Day party on Friday).

    Val

    Val #37949 02/12/09 07:54 PM
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    I remember very well what it was like when DS was 4. We made the decision that he would be an only when he was 4 because he behaved just as you describe your DD and I could not imagine ever facing that again or facing it while trying to take care of another kid (the cat was hard enough LOL).

    I had always thought I was a patient person. He made me face the reality that I am not. After he turned 5, I was able to go back to believing that I am a patient person. And I live happily with that delusion grin

    Anyway, I admire you for even trying to take 3 kids out in public. And I do believe that it will get better. I have heard many people say what Val said, that the switch from 2 to 3 is the hardest. I wish you luck.

    acs #37952 02/12/09 08:15 PM
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    Ditto what you said smile

    I can't begin to imagine dealing with DS * X!

    Even now at almost 10 he drives me nuts on a regular basis with his high energy and low impulse control.

    I can relate to how you feel when the days fun plans get lost in behavior problems. I never feel quite as low as when I have all sorts of fun thoughts planned and DS doesn't get with the program. I second the idea that to treat yourself a little smile

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