xoxosmom -
I am a middle school teacher, so I can give you perspective from the other side of the fence. Teachers ARE stressed because of the budget crunch in districts all over the country, but we aren't any more likely to shirk our jobs than we would be if there were no financial issues. In other words, if your son's teacher was open to differentiation before all this economic strife, she'll be open to making accomodations now. What were things like with her before she went on maternity leave?
My suggestion would be to ask for a meeting and engage her in conversation about her newborn to put her at ease. Talk a little about something in her class that your DS really enjoyed (a recent science experiment, a field trip, being in a group with another gifted kid, whatever). Then ask if her long-term sub said anything about accomodations being made for your son. If not, explain what the accomodations were and that you'd like to see them continue, as you felt he was being appropriately challenged with what he was doing. I think it's okay to share fears at this point that you don't want him going backwards - you can talk about any special issues he has (perfectionism, etc.) and share test data (if that hasn't already been done). Then end with something else positive, along with something like "I really appreciate you working with us on this, as I know you must be exhausted with the new baby - believe me, I can relate!!"
In education, we call this little exchange the "sandwich" philosophy, and we use it when talking to parents all the time - say something good, deliver the bad news or tough info, end with something else good. ALWAYS attempt to display some type of empathy for what the other person is going through - it works nearly every time!
And lastly, you are NOT out of line in asking for accomodations (unless you're asking for something that will require a boat load more work on the teacher's part). Be specific in the accomocations you'd like, and follow up with positive emails or phone calls if things are going well. If they continue to go downhill, you'll probably need to further involve the administrator.
Good luck!
Last edited by Jen74; 01/29/09 04:38 PM.