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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1
New Member
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OP
New Member
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1 |
I am asking myself how I got here. I am lost and depressed, I feel as if I have missed the boat.
I'm 23 years old and living in missouri, no Idea what I am doing here. I would love to go to school and learn, but how can I find a place that has to offer what I need. I used to live in Europe, and tried going to school there, but everything was to slow and I would lose interest. I am wanting to go to school here now, but what, and were?
I earned the lowest highschool diploma without effort because I couldn't deal with the issues going on there.
And I feel like this is all an excuse. I wish I could give up and end it all, even though I never will thats how frustrated I am with everything.
I know you cant read minds and I feel dumb for venting on here.
I don't have anyone to talk to about this so..
its a mess.
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 466
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 466 |
Dear Jessg,
Don't feel dumb--it's sort of like sending a message in a bottle, but with a greater chance of a response!
I don't know you, and of course can't speak to your particular circumstances, but I hate to see anyone feeling so sad and frustrated, so here is some advice from a complete stranger (which of course you are perfectly free to set aside if it doesn't look good to you):
Do not end it all; if you continue to feel as though that is an option, get yourself to a counsellor, quick march.
Be kind to yourself; think of all the good things about yourself and how many people care about you.
Eat right; sleep well; get some exercise; do something nice for somebody else.
Forget about things from the past that are bothering you for now; promise yourself to look forward only for right now, and you can make a date with yourself to process the past later.
Remember that 23 is still so young; you have time to experiment and see what might work the best for you--you don't have to decide your whole future right now.
Remember that you're not alone; lots of people about your age feel about as confused and worried and lost as you do right now--but people get through it--and you can, too.
Go do something nice for yourself, right this minute!
peace
minnie
Last edited by minniemarx; 01/25/09 05:10 PM. Reason: infelicitous phraseology
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,897
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,897 |
Yes yes yes - Minnie is right on! Very good to see you here Jess! Not sure how good groups like Mensa are for helping with problems like the one you present: wanting to move towards reaching your real potential, but feeling like you've missed the *usual* boat, but it might be a place to look. There are colleges in the u.s. which might be a great fit for you, the internet is a great resource for finding exactly what you are looking for  Heck, perhaps one of these new-fangled online universities. I am entirely unsure of the process you'd need to take to apply. You should also consider that moving towards *your* full potential might not require formal education, degrees, etc. There are still a few fields in the world where you can just grab some books and get the ball rolling on your own: Computer programming, a good way to make money to pursue more formal education down the road, if you do want that. If you find your interests lie more in the language arts realm: Writing. Yes, you do have to educate yourself for this, read the classics, read good criticism, read read read, but there are of course many examples of great writers who don't have phds... Anyway, hope I am not speaking out of turn, but there are lots of ways to skin this cat!
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207 |
Hi Jessg! Welcome! Be kind to yourself; think of all the good things about yourself and how many people care about you.
Eat right; sleep well; get some exercise; do something nice for somebody else. These are all good things. How are 'the basics' going? When you do something nice for an other person - what type of nice thing gives you the biggest joy? A friend of mine kept a happiness journal, so everyday he would write down the best parts of his day. Eventually he arranged to spend more and more time doing those things. Sounds simple - but the idea fascinated me. I think that 'knowing oneself' is really a learning process at any age. Love and More Love, Grinity
Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,299
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,299 |
Your post made me think of this article and some of the recommendations may be helpful. It is geared toward youngsters but.. existential issues are not ones that can be dealt with only once, but rather ones that will need frequent revisiting and reconsideration. A particular way of breaking through the sense of isolation is through touch. In the same way that infants need to be held and touched, so do persons who are experiencing existential aloneness. Touch seems to be a fundamental and instinctual aspect of existence, as evidenced by mother-infant bonding or "failure to thrive" syndrome. Consider yourself cyberhugged, but is there someone you can ask for an in person hug? Visit the humane society or adopt a pet? Schedule a massage? Gifted children who feel overwhelmed by the myriad choices of an unstructured world can find a great deal of comfort in studying and exploring alternate ways in which other people have structured their lives. Through reading about people who have chosen specific paths to greatness and fulfillment, these youngsters can begin to use bibliotherapy as a method of understanding that choices are merely forks in the road of life, each of which can lead them to their own sense of fulfillment and accomplishment (Halsted, 1994). We all need to build our own personal philosophy of beliefs and values which will form meaningful frameworks for our lives. I'm reading about Martin Luther King and it's comforting to know he faced discouragement and self doubt. And yet Martin Luther King, Jr.'s wife writes that he was painfully guilt-ridden, continually soul-searching, and loath to be alone. His friends say he would drain them for advice, repeatedly question his own motives, and torture himself with self-doubt. He assumed every hateful remark might have some element of truth, he worried about offending his parishioners, and he felt responsible for mistakes. Still he managed to articulate his own values, to commit to them, and to live them out in the face of violent opposition.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 7,207 |
Thanks Inky! Nice Post! Gives me a lot to think about.
Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 58
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 58 |
I earned the lowest highschool diploma without effort because I couldn't deal with the issues going on there.
And I feel like this is all an excuse. I wish I could give up and end it all, even though I never will thats how frustrated I am with everything. I think you are facing the fallout from perfectionism - either self or outwardly imposed. I did (do) the same thing...trying to slip from one easy thing to the next....always ready to jump out before I might have to really give something my all and find out it might not be good enough. While I didn't enjoy counseling - mostly because I could seriously not believe the lack of human caring that these people, who were supposed to help me, were providing - it did help. I was angry with them, and I decided that I must not be nuts, so I should go out and do something. (this sounds simple..it isn't) So, I started small. I made conversation with a stranger in the line for coffee - this was a big thing for me at the time - I was convinced I would sound like an idiot..turns out that wasn't the case, I and I became just a little bit more confident. So, my advice - while useless unless you are also taking care of yourself to some extent, like everyone else said....is to: 1. Try something you don't already know you can do..and might fail/be rejected..etc (think things with an immediate feedback, like my coffee shop line..cuz if you have to wait, you won't get the same feeling - I read about it later in a psych journal). 2. Realize that you can succeed or Realize that you can fail and don't get immediately combust from mortification [this doesn't have to be public mortification..I failed a test once on a subject I didn't know (online) as part of my exploring experience..and I was so purple it wasn't funny.] 3. Repeat 4. Once you get more comfortable with yourself, you may find that the big things are easier to tackle because it doesn't matter as much. [FWIW, my mom always tried to tell me to let my cares to God; I tried, but I didn't seem to let them go so well..I really needed to see that the world wouldn't end if I wasn't perfect.] Wish you the best.
For me, GT means Georgia Tech.
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 407
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 407 |
Is there any way you can move to a location with higher standards or colleges?
We have moved from an area that is "bright" to a very "dim" area and it is really difficult for me. My daughter seems to be handling it well, but as an adult, I have lost my "tribe".
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