Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Meeting with teacher and counselor....

Hi all,

Here to pick everyone's brain again. My husband and I had a meeting this am concerning our DS11(MONDAY!) and our upcoming evaluation.
Basically, we wanted to get their impressions and concerns to make sure we were all on the same page (sort of ) before our trip.
I am still trying to wrap my brain around some of this, so I will try and stay concise and organized!

The teacher's main concerns were social issues. She stated that she sees DS as not "getting it" regarding social cues from other students, and therefore alienating himself as those students shy away from him. She stated that she can see a marked difference in his ability to regulate himself when he is on Concerta. The past two days, he as not taken it, because it is making him jittery and have no appetite. She states that she can tell when he is off of it. We are contemplating a lower dose, but are not sure what to do this close to the eval. She stated several times that he is "very bright" and that his mind doesn't seem to stop.

The counselor's issues were his anxiety level ( at the beginning of the year he was having some pretty severe anxiety, which I partially attribute to an increased does of Strattera.) The anxiety level now is great for him, but probably still high compared to other kids. She is also concerned because DS stated that he does not go to sleep until 12am and that his "mind never stops". She also said several times what a "very bright" kid he is. She stressed that she is going to encourage him to join the band next year, because, in her words, band kids really stick together, and will give him a place to feel like he belongs. (Despite the fact that he played football this year, LOVES it, and still did not really fit in with those boys.)
I brought up the issue of possible 2E. That despite the disorganization, anxiety, social issues and inattentiveness, we were getting A's and B's with very little effort. They were both quick to inform me that his standardized test results were "just average". ( Which they are, but was before we were on meds.) Even after they got done talking about how "bright" he is.

They were both extremely supportive of our decision to get a second opinion outside our state, and the counselor went on about the lack of services in our city. So that really validated my decision, and of course it helps to have their support.

I just can't help but feel that we are not all focusing on the same issues. My husband put it well when he said " They want to fix him to make him fit in, and I want to find out if this is who he really is, and if so, then I don't want to change him"

Any thoughts? I know that I have posted much of this before, and this post feels a little disjointed to me, but I'm curious what you all think.

Thanks!

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I love this statement! Good luck on your eval

Master of None,
Can you expand on your thought that teachers think "bright" is "not cognitvely disabled"? Do you think that they are using the term to placate us?

I talked to a friend today who felt that our particular counselor sees students as multiple choice questions. As in, when she is presented with an students issue, the student must fit into answer A,B,C or D. I thought that this was a good way of explaining how I felt today.

I think think teachers use bright to describe children of above average intelligence, not necessarily *gifted*

I also think some teachers refer to students as bright if they don't like labels or the word gifted.

MON -- I work with developmentally disabled adults daily in my job -- the correct term is "retarded."



I think you hit the nail on the head here. You're right -- they're seeing social issues and that's it; from where they're sitting, they see an average kid with social struggles. From the teacher's point of view, he's doing fine in his classes, As and Bs are great! So why delve deeper on the academic front, since he's doing "fine"? Obviously there is so much more to it from *our* POV, but from her seat, academically there's no problem.

I think you may want to schedule a meeting and explain to exactly what you wrote here -- tactfully. Because if you're on different pages, which it sounds like you are, you'll never get anywhere helpful.

Good luck.