Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments do you know anything about montessori preschool?

thank you all so much...but SHOOT, now I am back at square-one! I am trying to find parents that have send kids to the preschools I am looking at and listen to what they say. I know each school will be different, but I was really hoping that Montessori would allow her to sort of work at her own pace. How do I make sure that the particular school/preschool will allow this? I also thought that maybe the Montessori preschool would be a little more organized and relaxed than some other preschools. Our daughter is not great in loud, busy social situations. She is quite shy and, unless I am with her, she is almost not very interested in playing (or being in the same room as) other children, except her cousin. I was hoping that preschool would help with this too.

I am going in circles, I know. It is such a hard choice. I think 1/2 of me wants to keep her home, but I think that might be for selfsih reasons, but I don't know. The other 1/2 wants her to go to school because I am not sure I can giver her everything she needs, including socializing.

ARG!

ok,ok I am feeling better...I just read MIA's reply (must have been written at the same time as I was writting). The school I am looking at is also a Montessori training school. Maybe that means they will also be good Montessorians? Or maybe it means they will be totally by the book and make the kids jump through all sorts of hoops. I didn't even really know these hoops existed, but I now realize that I should find out about this.

hmmmm

I think Mia is 100% right: observe. That is the best thing. And then take your child in and see how she does in that environment. Seeing DS actually in Stepford World made it very clear that it was not a good fit...

Also, talk to parents, especially to those with HG+ kids. Ask lots of questions of the teachers about how they handle difference of all sorts, not just GTness. (After all, how they handle religious difference or kids who are slower learners than average might tell you quite a lot about their philosophy regarding individuality and learning.) Ask about the fastest learner they had and how they handled it. Ask what they would do if a child spent all her time in one area or on one activity. Ask every question you can think of!

But the moral of the story is that until you go see in person and talk to everyone you can find about how this particular school is, you *are* back at square one!

One thought: if you put her in and it doesn't go well, can you pull her out without losing your shirt? If so, it seems to me that since you're considering keeping her home anyway, there's no big loss if it doesn't work out, right?

Also, what are your other options? Is this the only school you're considering? Does she have to go this year, or could you send her next year?

I'm just thinking here...

ya, you are exactly right...she doesn't have to stay in the school. We would be out 2 months tuition (not a huge amount at this school) and the uniform cost.

I guess what I will do is tour the few schools I am looking at then choose one and give it a shot. If it doesn't work out then she can stay home. Or if I decide that she is going to stay home regardless then we are only out the application cost.

Thank you so much. This is so hard for me because it is the first school experience for her, and first for me as a parent. It is a bit stressful. I want her to love school, like i did!

Anyhow...thank you all so much again!

I know how hard it is. I remember that first look at pre-Ks and thinking that it was SO SCARY! It's such a huge decision!

But don't make it worse than it is. In my experience, it feels bigger than it really is because it's the first choice of its kind. One thing that has really helped me so far on this journey is realizing what decisions are irreversible (very few) and which are changeable (nearly all). Happily for you, this one is easily reversed. The opportunity cost is that your daughter wouldn't finish pre-K this year. But that's clearly not the end of the world. So no worries, right?

(Yeah, right...)

Here's hoping your daughter has a wonderful preschool year!

thank you Worst case scenario, we pull her out and she stays home with me...which is the other choice anyways so what is the big deal?! There we go...simple!

Thank you! Can I just keep you in my pocket and whenever I need someone to put things into perspective i can just pull you out?! Maybe I need more children...I think way too much about this little one!

People had to do the same for me when I was in your shoes. I think it's pretty normal.

Stick around and you can talk me down from my next freak out! It WILL happen--it's just a matter of time! LOL!

I am one who has a great experience with an accredited Montessori. But I also have a gifted head teacher, truly amazing, who "gets" my child. We are doing applications for a gifted elementary and both the teachers and we have to write essays about DD for review and they are writing great stuff that supports our stories.

We used a school consultant who told us which early childhood classes (they have 5) were the best in the school. And demanded the class with the teachers she said were great.

Ren

In a way, that's what visiting is for. To give you data about more children and how different teachers relate to them. nothing like a little perspective

When I decided to switch my ds I visited almost a dozen child care sitation including Montessorri, home day care and playbased. I sat in the classroom of 5 different Montssori schools bewtween 5 and 25 minutes drive of our house. Of the schools that I liked (4) I brought my ds back to see if it was a good fit.

I learned a lot from all those visits. Especially about how the Montessori philosophy is not always implemented the same way.

Once you are in the classroom and can observe a range of kids and teachers you'll be able to determine the best fit for your daughter.

- EW

I agree that visiting and testing if you have the luxury of time are essential. I thought Montessori would be the perfect fit for a gifted kid too -because of them learnng at their own pace. It turned out the school we used actually held my child back from things he could do - saying he couldn't do them until the following year! That didn't even follow Montessori principles. A couple of years into the school it became clear that temprement is also highly important. Our child wanted to play and socialize and had mostly been around adults. There was also no system for discipline in place that worked with our child's temprement. How the school is set up to deal with problems is really important and not something you think about when you child is 2, has not had time to be naughty and isn't a trouble maker yet. But if they become a trouble maker - then knowing how the school deals with discipline is important. I found schools reluctant to talk about this - they wanted to behave during initial interviews like all kids were "perfect" and not be negative - and as the parent - you hardly want to walk in and say "my kid might turn out to be a trouble maker - in that situation - what would you do?"

A county counsellor helped us identify our child as highly spirited. I recently read an article that Montessori often does not work well for super shy or super spirited kids - and in my experience that was the case. But how each school is being run is of huge importance and I didn't have the luxury of day time visits or the time to go around several schools. Luckily, I had a stay-at-home mom friend that visited a ton of pre-schools on behalf of both our children and she helped us find a church school in the end to provide more structure.

Montessori philosophy can differ depending on who runs the school, how accredited they are, and whether they are accredited with the American, or World/International Montessori Associatons. (There are several). The school has to meet certain requirements to get these accreditations. Note though: they don't always have to meet every single requirement or even get every single Montessori accreditation in order to open and legally function as a Pre-School (as was the case at our school).

Any Pre-school is a scary decision when it's your first - so I totally undretand what you're going through emotionally. Don't rush - espeically as you do have the ability to stay home and watch your child and especially as you don't sound like you'll be losing a huge deposit, fees or a place at the school you want. Often the waiting lists alone at most preschools start signing kids up as early as March of the preceeding year - and in my experience - there was pressure to renew our contract with schools as early as March - which seemed ridiculous when a child of a young age just started i September and when a children develop so much in a few months at that age. It's hard to predict what they need and hard not to feel pressured about losing your place at a current school. Demand for Montessori can be really high - so best to start the process early and learn as much about that type of school from the various Montessori websites.