Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums GT Research Teachers' Negative Affect Toward Gifted Kids

Now THAT made me laugh!

Did that, replied and it's still blinking. Will ignore it.

Austin: ROFLMAO!! You're killing me!!!!!!

Hmm that was happening some time ago, the non-stop blinking, but they fixed it and no one has had that issue since I don't think, until now. I'd email the site person.

I have the same issue, and when I mentioned it a while back someone else did too. One thing I wonder is whether it happens only before you get and read your first PM? I tried to send myself one, but it's too clever for that. Would you mind sending me a "test" PM, D&C?

Thanks D&C, but that made no difference. Ah well :-)

Hi,

I am a newbie here having just found this forum, which seems to have some great resources and knowledgeable posters!

I feel like I am going crazy ATM with the school situation of my DS11 HG+. The messages I have been receiving are like in the blog. He is rude, disruptive, argumentative, etc. He has been on "behaviour management" which has (as I predicted) been useless. His teacher this year wants to have him again next year, so she can "get somewhere with him" with compliance.

No educational accomodations have been put in place as he is "showing no signs of advanced ability" on the class assigned tasks. There is no G/T program. They feel there are no problems academically (he scores in top 1/4), but that he is just a selfish, rude child with (I guess) terrible parenting.

Go back 2 years, to school with soft GT program, and cluster grouping, he was doing OK. Teacher said he was a great kid, and liked him.

His current teacher dislikes him, and me, I can feel it in her conversations/emails.

Last week she screamed at him outside the classroom "Why don't you respect me!!!" at the top of her voice. He replied "I can't respect someone who doesn't like me". This sent her into a rage, and straight to the headmistress, who banned him from attending a school trip he was really looking forward to.

Now, my questions for you........I am going in to bat for him (yet again) to receive some differentiation next year, in the hope it will improve his classroom behaviour. Is there any research I can show to support the need for advanced work for a HG+ child, even though he is not coming "top of the class" ?(I have his WISC report).............do kids like this ever become "compliant"? Sometimes I just wish he would sit and not yell out answers and "inappropriate" comments in class, but he is who he is.

His GP now feels he has depression, and I can't help but think that it could be related to the whole school situation.

Homeschooling is not an option for me, as a single mum, and I really would like him to stay at this school one more year, as it is then time for HS, and I don't want 2 school moves.

Has anyone had any success in dealing with a situation such as this?

Thanks for taking the time to read,

Steph

Welcome Stephanie! Sorry you're going through this.
My DS6 is early in the schooling process so I don't have any specific advice, but I do know that others have posted similar frustrations. You are not alone.


Yes, there's lots on the davidsongifted.org website. Also, here's a link to some social/emotional issues with giftedness from the hoagies.org website: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/social_emotional.htm

The good news is that from the successes I've read about on this board, kids are generally resilient and can survive a bad year and end up happy when the school situation improves even a little...

Hi Stephanie,
Interestingly - we were in a similar position last Spring, with DS12 (then 11) at a private school in 7th Grade where he finally got his gradeskip, and him wanting so much to return to our public school (no gifted program,but, starting in 8th grade offers Algebra I early to about 10% of the kids, and honors classes in every subject starting in the High School, which for us, starts 9th grade.

We were so worried that him starting the Middle School as a 8th grader, when everyone else had been there for 2 years already would be awful socially. We worried that everything being in transition would be 'too much.'

But, the private school, although we are so grateful to them for doing the grade skip in 5/6th grade, and although it was wonderful academically for him in 6th grade, was very difficult socially. The teachers also were very production orriented, and in 7th grade there was lots of memorization, and not so much abstract thought, and lots and lots of work to do.

So we took the plunge and let him switch back to public for 8th, and it's been a delight in a few ways -
1) Family bank account is doing the happy dance. We tried some interesting and expensive afterschool enrichment stuff.
2) We are less stressed with the extra travel to and from school
3) DS12 made a handful of friends that he is truly proud to know. They seem more open and accepting of difference than at the private school
4) Organizationally, things which were treated as 'high crimes' in the fishbowl atmousphere of the private school (forgetting to bring a pencil to class, for example) were accepted as 'normal' at the public school.
5) The material seems as 'in depth' and the projects seem as demanding, but there are less of them. I'm hoping that next year will be tougher, but it feels great to have a break.
6) The transition was actually a plus for our DS, as it gave him something interesting to figure out.

Of course your choice of schools will be different than our schools, but I want to encourage you to remember the 'standard advice' like 'no 2 building in 2 years' which is good advice for most kids, may mean absolutly nothing for our kids. If your public school is safe and reasonable, consider it. Maybe consider going straight to HS if your son is a hard worker and you don't mind him 'playing for keeps' next year.

I would also encourage you to consider his summer experiences as part of his 'living with differences' program.

I've found that as the kids get older, people are less likely to expect the kids to put up with the kind of behavior that your son and mine find 'disrespectful.' I got that blame thing too. It stinks, but I hope you aren't paying for it! I don't know if any kid like this ever becomes 'compliant' but if you can point out to your kid that they had better work hard and get the kind of job were people treat them with respect, you may be able to make lemons out of lemonade. As my son has gotten older, he is both 'more motivated' to comply and better about to 'fake it' in public. He's also gotten better at fence mending, and avoiding confrontations in the first place.

One thing I hate about private schools is when they are so small that you can't transfer away from a 'bad chemistry' teacher. I would certainly not want this teacher to have another year with your son. I would try to get him out of that situation, perhaps by transfering to public (MD might be able to write a note that it is 'medically nescessary' for your son to get out of that classroom, even if it means changing school so you don't lose whatever tuition money you are committed to paying) or by transfering to the next grade up.

I think having your MD write a note about the depression and sobbing in the head-of-school's office while showing the WISC scores is in order here.

If you don't already have SAT scores for your son, make plans for him to take the SAT or ACTs, those scores mean more to school folks than WISCs because they are so much more familiar.

Write more! we want to hear from you.
Grinity

Thanks Grinity,

You are spot on about so many things. My son says "respect" is the issue for him, as in that he is not being respected. Yes, this is a small private school, that I am paying a lot for, and as a widow I could well do without the cost. To pay for this seems unreasonable.

The MD wants to speak to the teacher, but as it is school break here ( I am in Australia), I am yet to receive a response to my email to her for her contact number. A skip straight to 8 next year would be great, but you should see his report!!! His math/english results are quite good and comments ok , but with this teacher as homeroom teacher, the rest paints him as a kid you would not want in the school, let alone to grade skip.

Your comments re getting older and perhaps easier are heartening.

Luckily my daughter is a "compliant" EG student, so is no problem at school.

Thanks for letting me know I am not alone, as sometimes it feels that way.

Steph