Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy do GT kids talk more than ND?

This is a half humorous/half serious question...I know that all kids talk a lot, but do you think GT kids talk exponentially more? My DD5 just simply cannot be quiet! She said her first word at 3wks (ma) and hasn't stopped since. My brain gets so numb from the constant chatter that I drop things, lose my train of thought, forget how to do whatever I am doing at the time, etc. I try so hard to be patient and either answer her questions or acknowledge her statements but after an hour and a half of constant talk, I can't take anymore.
For instance, last night at dinner she was talking so much (and I was acknowledging her statements so much) that I finally had to stop her and say "sweetie I can't chew my food b/c I have to stop every other second to say 'uh huh' or 'mmmm'. I am swallowing food before it is thoroughly chewed in order to respond to you. Can you please eat and minimize the words you are saying?" She said yes, took a bite of macs and launched right back in to another 10-minute-straight-with-no-breaks conversation! I stopped her then and asked if she remembered I had asked her to stop talking and she said yes. Is there a technique I am missing? Has anyone else had any luck in this department?
I have half humorously/half seriously joked with my husband (who is 2E himself and just as exhausting) that I think I need to either keep a cocktail glued to my hands or get a prescription for an anxiety pill or something!

Well, you just described my DD5nextmonth perfectly She talks non stop. DS7 is the opposite. He exhibits all the other gifted traits except constant talking and overexcitability. After a few hours with DD my nerves are shot, but if I sit with DS for a bit, he will instantly calm me.

Ah, it's DS4.5 to a tee! The child is an extrovert in a family of introverts, and he JUST CAN'T STOP TALKING!

It makes me crazy some days. I recently asked for 30 seconds of silence so I could concentrate on a math problem, and he barely paused before he asked if it had been 30 seconds yet! Argh!

Personally, I think it probably has more to do with personality than GTness, though the excesses of GTness probably exacerbate the personality traits of an extrovert. In fact, really the only things that make me think DS4 is GT is his excessive sensitivity and his excessive verbal ability (limited to talking). Beyond those, he doesn't really present as GT. But in those areas, he is SOOOOO excessive!

The one thing that works for me with him sometimes is giving him my undivided attention for a few minutes. I mean, looking him in the eye, being fully engaged, and not even thinking about anything else. Then he knows he's been seen and heard, so when I give him a concrete task that he can do by himself for a few minutes without talking to me--like LEGOs, for example--he is more willing to do it.

But this doesn't always work, and it only works for a short time.

Otherwise, find a good sitter and get some time alone when you need it. It's the best I've managed!

Same here.

My dd's have kind of opposite personalities, yet the both talk nonstop.

DD8 is very quiet at school from the feedback I've gotten from teachers. At home it's nonstop monologues from both.

I'm very good at tuning people out, so I used to just smile and nod and pretend I was listening, but lately, DD8 has been busting me out.

Both of my kids like to talk, but my daughter didn't talk as much as my son as a child. Even though there is a big age difference, they talk to each other all the time, at least an hour or two each day. They are talking on the phone right now. My daughter usually calls to talk to him four or five times a day. My son puts her on speaker phone and talks while he works on whatever he is working on, including video games or practicing piano or whatever.

People sometimes ask him for advice on which game to get when we are shopping for a new video game. He loves this.

When I read to him he gets very talkative because he is always making connections between what we are reading and something else he read or heard or he comes up with jokes or puns that he just has to share and then tells me he can't just be quiet and listen because he says he has a rare form of Tourettes that makes it is impossible to keep his jokes and comments to himself. Most of the time I don't mind him talking because he often points out interesting things that I hadn't thought about. Most of the time it is fun, but by the end of the day I am so tired.

He gets really talkative right before bedtime, when he talks to his dad about all the things he did during the day.

I meant to add in my original post that DH was a HUGE talker when he was a child. I found this so hard to believe when his mother told me this, because in the 10 years we have been together, he has always been a very quiet person. He told me he got so tired of people telling him that he talked too much, that he finally just stopped talking So we are always very careful about how we handle DD.

DD5 and DD4 both do this until I feel like my head is going to explode. My solution is to give them something to do. What works with them is something to learn, so when they were younger it was count to 100 by 1's, 2's,3's,4's ... or spell words now its times tables and division once I get them started on something they go at it until it's learned, gives me time to keep sane.

I tried this and it doesn't work for my son. If I give him anything to do, he wants to talk about it before he does it, while he's doing it, and after he has finished.

If he senses that I am tired of listening, he tells me he thinks I need a break to de-depress. We both agree that the bathtub is my "de-depression chamber" but he still thinks of things he just has to tell me before I am ready to come out.

My daughter recently told him that I acted a little more tired and stressed than she remembered me being when she was younger. Maybe I need sound proof walls in my de-depression chamber.

My DS5nextmonth also is a nonstop talker. If he's bugging me by talking too much, and I am successful in redirecting him so he's not asking me questions, he'll still talk to himself! It's fun to listen to his conversations with himself though...

I have often said that this is my own fault, because I read somewhere that you should give a play-by-play to your infant. I did this, and I produced a child who doesn't stop talking!

Here's a funny - we recently discovered the Boomerang channel, with old cartoons. He watched his first episode of Topcat, and said "This is sort of like Tom and Jerry, because there's always someone chasing someone else, but Topcat talks constantly, like me!"

I suspect that on average GT kids talk more, or are at least more inquisitive than typical kids. That said, my DD7 is an introvert (like both her parents) and doesn't talk excessively. She can get going non-stop on topics of interest to her (Harry Potter at the moment). I've also noticed this occurs more often when she is tired or it is past her bedtime. That sometimes "flips the switch" and she just goes and goes and goes. ;-)

I'm glad to hear "st pauli girl"'s comment in conjunction with all of the other comments. One of the things that I wondered as well is if I somehow produced this behavior b/c I too gave my DD a play-by-play when she was an infant. My DH likes to say "You did this" when I complain about the talking.
As a wee little thing I wouldn't hand her anything until she asked for it in words and not "clicks and grunts" as I would tell her. I mean she was 3 months old and I would repeat a simplified version of whatever she wanted like "eat" or "fruit" and then not hand it to her until she said "ee" or "fuu". Then I would sing-song "thank you" and she would go "na na". Good to know that DD would have become a talker either way.

This topic is so funny to me. My DD is a major talker but I also think she is more intravert b/c forever when out in public she was close lipped and even today if someone she doesn't know talks to her directly she clams up. Is this an intravert? I really don't know but she is still shy around others. I too did play by play and refused to accept grunting for an answer. I was the nutty parent in the grocery store talking to the infant about everything around us.

There was one time we were in a craft store around the ribbon which she always had to have one or two to hold. This excited her and she started talking like she normally did at the house and I thought nothing of it but kept acknowledging her comments while looking at the ribbon. I really did not realize she was talking in sentences. A woman came around the corner to look at her and asked was she talking in sentences? Of course she was and had been for some time.(she was barely 11 months old) She was a mother of a 10 mth old and was freaking out that her child was barely saying mama and was there something wrong with her baby. I had to spend the next 20 minutes assuring her that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her child.

I always laugh at my husband when she is going on and on and proclaim: remember when we were soooo excited for her to talk? I really don't know if us constantly talking to her produced this result or if she was hardwired to be an early speaker no matter what we did, but we too deal with the constant chatter of our DD.

DS was always excited when we took him hiking in bear country. It was the only time we were happy to just have him tell us everything on his mind and we never got the least bit annoyed and we never worried about surprising a bear. A few times DS actually ran out of things to say on a hike and we'd get to say, "tell us more about the video game you are playing." He was so happy!

HA! That's about it, too. Ds6 *never* stops talking. I admit to tuning out sometimes, until I realize I've made one "uh-hunh" too many and agreed to something I shouldn't have!

He will, though, often be redirected by math or a word game and is much happier because of it. It gives some form to his energy!

Katelyn's Mom: The definition of "introvert" and "extrovert" that makes the most sense to me is the one that talks about it in terms of how you recharge your batteries. The introvert is recharged by alone time and is drained by time with people; the extrovert is energized by time with people and is drained by time alone.

If DS4, my extrovert, has more than a few minutes to himself--even if he had plenty of sleep all week--he falls asleep. It just wears him out to be alone. He can actually be quite shy. But he CRAVES social time.

Now, DS7 and I are very social, outgoing and talkative with people, but we both get worn out when with people for long. No one can ever believe that I'm an introvert because I can talk to anyone about anything, and I enjoy it. But it wears me out. I'll have a great time at a party, but then it will take a day's worth of time to myself for me to recover. I'm utterly fine at the party; it's the next day that is a problem because if I don't get the time alone that I need, I get more and more grouchy until I DO get it. It's a need for me, not a want.

DH looks more like the stereotypical introvert than DS7 and I do: quiet, not outgoing. But I tend to be more worn out by social events than he is, and thus score higher for introversion on the Meyers-Briggs Index than he does, even though I don't look like an introvert to most people.

All people need both some social time and some time alone, but the balance is different for introverts and extroverts. And it's entirely possible to be an outgoing introvert or a shy extrovert.

So by this definition, your tight-lipped daughter is an extrovert if she needs social time in order to feel energized. If she's talkative at home but craves her alone time to feel herself again, then she's an introvert.

Does that make sense? I'm not sure I explained that very well...

Thanks for the run down and your explanation makes perfect sense. I see why you are writing a book. But even with this definition I am still not 100% sure she is one or the other. She doesn't have to have my attention all the time and can go off to do activities without an audience. I don't know if this fits into the topic but DDs sleeping habits have at the beginning of her life been the typical HG+ kid. She only took little cat naps and needed my attention all the time but later we got her in the habit of an afternoon nap. In the last few weeks she has not been napping. She will be falling asleep in the car on our back from being out and I take her up to her bed but she plays until I finally go up and get her. She never gets upset about alone time and when she does come downstairs she is full of energy.

Typical after-school "conversation" between me and GT son:

Me: How was school today?
DS6: Good.
Me: What did you do?
DS6: Nothing.
Me: Do you want a snack? Hello? Hello! (louder voice) Do you want some pretzels?
(By this time, DS is usually engrossed in playing, thus end of conversation)

So clearly, it's not always the case...

LOL, Jool! And there's my DS7, who pretty much talks just the right amount for me. He is my "mini-me," so we usually get along quite well all day together.

K's Mom: remember, too, that not all people are very extreme. In other words, your DD might be just right near the center line that divides introvert from extrovert, so she might be pretty evenly balanced, 50/50.

Or maybe you would have to ask her which energizes her and which recharges her. Maybe you can't tell, but she could tell you...

Our DD is a talker! But thats just great with me cause I am too. My parents say it is pay back, but I would not have it any other way.

DS is a watcher, he catches everything but dose not say much.

Baby is a toucher and has to always be touching something, me, a fuzzy toy or blanket anything tactile. This gets annoying because she really likes my hair.

So I have one talking, one watching and listening, one rubbing my arm and trying to eat my fuzzy sweater. Its a pretty good arrangement.

ROFL!

How about when watching a movie? Mine simply cannot sit quietly and watch a movie. He talks the whole way through - asking questions, making commentary, pointing out things that look like other things, making connections and comparisons. It makes my DH absolutely crazy! His GT teacher at school last year told me it is a trait of giftedness, but I'm not so sure.

I swear I am a dunce sometimes. I knew this and when I read it I had to kick myself. (a sight I am sure was worth witnessing!) And on top of this I asked my mom do you think DD is an intra or extra without even going into it. DM stated with no uncertain terms that she is neither and is pretty middle of the road. So there you have it.

LOL. I love it when they are self-aware. When DS was 4, I was resting next to him as he was supposed to be going to sleep, but he was talking about his favorite computer game. He had been talking for about 5 minutes. I had tuned him out and was planning menus for the week in my head. Suddenly there was a pause in his monologue and then he said, "Just listen to me, going on and on about something you don't even care about."

Um, I am the worst for this.

And acs:



ROFL! Hilarious!

My DS8 is a strange mixture of the two sides of the coin. When he was younger, he was a non-stop talker. He babbled constantly about everything, and would follow me into the bathroom to keep talking. The difference then was that he was constantly asking insatiable questions about the world around him. He wanted to know "why" about everything. Now that he is older, he still chatters about things constantly, but it seems different. Now he chatters to himself a lot, particularly when he sits and plays legos. There is a lot of space and battle noises and some dialogue between mini-figures. But he can also disappear behind a book for hours at a time and be completely silent and absorbed. It is almost as if he needs the extra sensory input that is missing from a quiet room. When reading a book, his mind is stimulated by the story and he doesn't need the extra sensory input.

But the flip side of the coin is to ask DS8 how his day was. Silence. Or at best, one word answers. Trying to info out of him is painful. And trying to get him to focus on answering my questions is just as bad. The "do you want a pretzel?" remark really hit home for me!! It is almost as if he will talk about abstract concepts much more readily than run of the mill/everyday events. Ask him about dark matter, DNA, or currently WW II battles and the moral issues that accompany them, and he will talk forever. Ask him about what he had for lunch or his day at school, and you will get no response.

Not only does my ten year old son talk a lot, he can easily switch to a different accent just for fun. When we went to the base commissary today, he spent the entire time talking in a British accent. We noticed a woman smiling at him every time she saw him and she finally asked my husband if our son was from England. She had grown up in England and she said he sounded just like some of the kids there. All the world's a stage.

It sounds like you have a little actor on your hands.

This thread is cracking me up! FWIW, my nickname as a toddler was Running Mouth. My father had to work so hard to get me to learn to stop talking and let others have a turn (I'm the youngest of 5) it wasn't until I was 3 years into graduate skool that I found my "voice" again. I literally did not participate in class discussions until I was 34 years old. I was trying to be a good girl! Not my parent's fault, but being silent surely hurt me immensely in class.

My DS is a man of few words. ((Don't ask about humming, whistling, pen clicking, and other noisy habits. If I didn't know better, I'd think he was using echo location.)) As was mentioned, he, too, might occasionally give you a 45 minute lecture on the parenting habits of Pengins (2nd grade) but one is lucky to get a one word answer to 'personal questions.'

However, if I ever start to miss his voice, I can start watching a movie, lecture or podcast. Then he'll fill my ear with questions and commentary. I've tried to teach him to be able to sit quietly during plays after a wearing experience attending the play '1776.' He wanted to 'get' the reference every time the audience laughed, which was usually a 'double entendre.'

He has improved with age, but my worst experience was sitting on a tram in Key West, while the tour guide squaked barely intelligible local history while DS (5?) teetered on the edge of a tantrum, getting more and more tense, trying to catch every bit of information. I had no clue that DS was gifted at the time, but now I understand that he actually feels anxious when he doesn't understand the words around him.

Is this a sign of gifteness? I think it's a sign of his Intensity, which is probably related to his giftedness. I know that not all gifted kids are talkitive, but I know that whatever my son does, he does with gusto, even if it's sitting on the couch zoning out. I used to worry that he was having slight seziures.

Love and more Love,
Grinity

Sounds like Madonna!

Lori: My son loves British accents too! We read the first Harry Potter together this summer as our snuggle-time book, so that I could see how he reacted to it. After hitting a word that was obviously British and stopping to explain it to him, he insisted that I read the rest of the book out loud with a British accent. It was too funny.

Just saying the word "sausage" to the boy with a British accent will cause him to fall over with laughter, holding his side and gasping for breath. I don't know why or how that originated (Wallace and Grommit maybe?), but it definitely gets him out of a funky mood.

If you haven't looked up Wallace and Grommit movies, I would. They have three shorts, "The Wrong Trousers", "Grand Day Out", and "A Close Shave". And they had a collection of snippets called "Cracking Contraptions, and a full length feature film, "Curse of the Were-Rabbit". I'm particularly fond of "The Wrong Trousers" and "A Close Shave".

W&G V. big here, too, ebeth! "Knickers" has been the lads' expletive of choice for some time!

Has your son seen (or read) any of the Bertie & Jeeves videos (or books)? Lovely plummy accents there.

Toodle-pip!
minnie

I can't do the British accent very well at all. We watched a British ghost hunting show recently, on the Travel channel I think, and afterwards my husband and son went into an improv performance of a ghost hunting scene, British accent and all. I tried to join in, but was not very good at it, so I had to be the cameraman.

My son can also mimic the voice on our GPS "Turn left in 1.5 miles..." perfectly.

He has a lot of fun with it and combined with the sense of humor and improv ability he is fun to be around. It is just that sometimes it is too much of a good thing.

Wallace & Grommit! Brilliant!

There is so much (hilarious) detail in those they are truly worth watching over and over...

I love Wallace & Grommit. I didn't realize there were more movies so I will definitely be on the look out!

My ds talks constantly too, even in his sleep!

Instead of having imaginary friends, he becomes other characters. One of them has an american accent and another an australian one. I have no idea where he picked this up! I am a cockney with a very distinct London accent and he has a Strong regional northern accent, as he has grown up in the north of England. However he can switch to London easily and is very convincing, especially as he uses lots of rhyming slang that he has learnt from his grandad.

He is fascinated with accents, dialects and languages. He even corrects my speech if I use my local dialect.

My son was similar. No imaginary friends, he just became different characters.

He talks a lot with his hands too. He says he likes to watch people. He watches their body language and is able to mimic it. He is good enough at doing impressions that I can usually tell who he is trying to be. I think he's funny until he does his imitation of me.

Not sure it's related to giftedness...but I do know my DS talks a LOT. He does take breaks though. If he is really working on things or figuring them out he is quiet for a little while. He's quiet on the computer sometimes and when he watches TV. Whenever DS is quiet he is thinking very hard about something and whenever he figures it out he tells us all about it...in detail. On Saturday he was quiet for a minute in the car and then told me "I am running out of paper in my mind. I have piles of paper for my thoughts but I already used up 3 packs of paper that has 20 sheets each so that's 60 sheets and I don't have any more left" to which I replied "well sounds like you need more paper" Of course the conversation went on for a while. My DD is 18 months and she talks a little but she sings ALL day long, Oddly enough her songs are easily recognizeable based on rhythm and notes...but the articulation needs some work. ; ) It's pretty fun to watch. Her favorite is "E I eh E O" That's BINGO for those of you who didn't get that, LOL.

My son zones out a lot, especially in the car...he is usually counting something (like mile markers or windshield wipers going down) or thinking about something very hard....like trying to figure out how Santa sorts all of his presents and how he knows which gifts go to which child...and how the sleigh can fly since reindeer can't...etc etc). although he looks like he is out if it...he is ALWAYS thinking about something very intently. sometimes I wish he could just chill a little, but that's not what he does I guess.

PROBABLY EVEN UNDER WET CEMENT.

They were in frightening form this morning.

How about dry cement? <evil snicker>

:p

I wouldn't rule it out.

BTW (having now read the rest of this thread) - we're all introverts at our place. I'm pretty extreme, though a lot of people don't believe me. I'm also an "F", and I think (though wouldn't swear to memory being exact) that this triggers the appearance of extraversion. The boys and I all both tend to talk more when we're socially overstretched - in a not-very-in-control sort of way sometimes.

Hi AMS's Mom -

Oh my gosh that is a resounding yes! Holy Cow. My son wakes up talking and goes to bed talking. He loves to explain "everything".

If you have any secrets to let me in on or tips that would be great. If we truly are alloted ten thousand words a day, my son uses his up by Noon -- and by bedtime it's all I can do not to grind my teeth somedays.

The flip side to this is that he's a great conversationalist and he see's things through not only a child's eyes but he has also has this really different perspective that's fun to see, and we have many many in-depth fun conversations. I am excited to see what he's going to be like at a teenager.

His father on the other hand is brilliant but never tested (He's from Italy, and didn't have that stuff where he went to school), and quiet unless it's a subject he passionate about and then he's off to the races.

Do you ever find that your children like or prefer a routine? I know that routines are important in our house as well.