Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Help! Middle School Acceleration.

Help me please guys!
Today DD LA teacher summoned me at dismissal time and said that we have to move my DD ahead in LA and probably also in Math.

She told me that my DD is practically waisting time in her LA class and is "so ahead of other kids, I can't even begin to explain" (teacher's words).
I could not talk to her at lenght, it was more like a one minute conversation because Ghost was going rafting and I had to drop him off right after school. She (teacher) said that we can either try changing her math and LA classes so she will be taking those subjects with 6th graders (she is in 5th grade, young fifth grade, her birthday is end od May), which will totally "screw her schedule" (teacher's words:-O ),
or we can grade skip her into 6th. DD wants to grade skip but purely for prestige. I would do it but..
I have Ghost who has flatly refused today to listen to any arguments (the school would grade skip him into 8th at my request, they have tests to attest to it). Ghost says that he is going to be bullied, will look like a total nerd, will be the worst kid in PE class ( he is not the best in team sports), and presents an absolutely NO, don't even think about it attitude. I had about 30 min to talk to Ghost and DH about it, they are gone rafting now for the weekend, but DH (who absolutely wants to grade skip both of them as well, can't figure why?)promised that he will have some conversations with Ghost over the weekend ( I am thinking like when? as they are going over rapids?)
Anyone in the house who did grade skip kids in middle school?
As you know from my earlier posts, I do have reservations about grade skipping and it's affects on HS life. Ghost is becoming very social lately, in 7th grade there is a good body of his, they are planning to start film club at the school.

Hi Ania!

All I can do is tell you how it went for me. Of course, I have no way of knowing if my experience is relevant to your kids' situations.

I was a shy, quiet kid. I was bullied in gradeschool. When we moved I started 6th grade at a new school and found it difficult to make friends. I wasn't bullied but I was just sort of ignored. My mom had me take a test to get into a local school for the gifted and I passed. I skipped 7th grade and started 8th grade at the gifted school. I loved it there and enjoyed myself until we moved to another state the summer before my junior year.

My junior year I started at a regular high school at the age of 15. I actually suffered more mistreatment from some of the teachers than from the other kids. I took Calculus as a junior and it was very easy for me. The teacher didn't like it that I came from another school and was better than "his" students. He constantly singled me out as in "Didn't anyone get this problem on the homework? I'm sure Cathy got it right--Cathy come up here and show how you did it." This happened every single day! He even went so far as to put a very long arithmetic problem (no calculator allowed) on the final and then announced to the class that they shouldn't worry about that problem, he only put it on there so I wouldn't get 100% again. He always announced how I had "ruined" the curve after every exam. I complained to the school counselor about this teacher's treatment of me. His response was, "Well, you're getting an 'A' aren't you? What are you complaining about?"

Mostly, I was just ignored by the kids. I didn't really make friends there and didn't have any interest in attending prom, etc. Since I was shy and reserved this didn't really bother me, I was just eager to go on to college which I really enjoyed. I did join the swim team in high school and lettered in swimming. I tried out for softball, but since I was a junior I had to try out for the varsity team which I didn't make.

All in all, I am glad that I was grade skipped--it allowed me to go to college as soon as possible. The high school social scene just wasn't that important to me.

Cathy

We decided against grade advancing our son to 7th this year based on a few factors. The first reason is the very high regard we hold for the teaching ability of the two sixth grade teachers. We�ve kept him at this school so that he would finally get these teachers for 6th grade. The other reason is that he hopes to attend a level 4 high school where he would be amongst peers. Had he been skipped this year, he would only be 16 at high school graduation. One of the colleges that he has expressed interest in attending, a U.S. service academy, has a mandatory age of 17 for acceptance.

These are the reasons that we turned down the offer at this time (middle school age). If we had been offered the skip earlier, we would have taken it and I�m confident the result would have been favorable.

Ania,
Would you only skip DD, if Ghost were advanced at the same time?

I am a big fan of subject acceleration. Many kids could benefit from it, although schools consider it a big pain. I would like to see our teachers utilize all those Masters of School Administration degrees to figure it out.

Wow, thanx for so many responses!
Delbows asks:
That is a big part of my problem . You have to understand, that while my daughter is in the top 3-5% on her abilities , my son is in the top 1/2% or higher. He is the one for whom grade skipping seems just obvious, however we have not done it so far. For the first five years of formal education he was stuck in a private school that did absolutely nothink for us in terms of advocationg.We were offered it when Ghost first started current school in 5th grade, but he was accomodated so wonderfully compared to what we were used to, that we did not even think about it.
Dottie writes:
That is exactly what this school was doing when Ghost first started there 2 years ago. 5/6 and 7/8 had math and LA in the same block of time. So he was albe to do Algebra 1 and for LA was in the top scoring class of all 5/6 graders. However, for the next year the school changed a little, they decided that it was not so god for the kids to be mixed up that much and while he still continued into Geometry, in LA he was in the highest class of only 6th graders.But because those kids were grouped together for one subject, they continued together inot almost every other class. It was a strong group. This year seems to be even worst, as both son and I do not believe they grouped them according to ability at all.
So, had I known that things are going to change in the school, I would have agreed for a grade skip for Ghost from 5th to 6th, while he was still very agreeable.

This is a very interesting topic to me. I am generally a proponent of skipping when a child is advanced across the board (not just math or just reading/LA). I think the K-12 system was developed as a framework by bureaucrats because they had to have something to work with in starting public education. But each child is unique and some might only need 9 or 10 years of education before moving on to college. It should not be seen as a "set in stone" system--just my philosophy.

That said, there is literature about specific acceleration recommendations based on IQ and/or SAT scores, and Ghost's very high scores suggest he could do multiple grade skips or even early enrollment. I agree with Dottie that the kid has to buy into it. For instance, my kids have each skipped one grade and I think that was great--they related better to kids just one year older and didn't stand out too much being smaller & less developed (important in the middle school years). But my kids all say they don't want to skip again, even if they are working at more advanced levels. I think they don't want to be pariahs.

Another consideration is that middle school is such an important time for physical, emotional, and educational development, that fortunately my kids skipped early and will go through middle school years normally. For me, middle school was probably more important than high school in developing my interests and passion for learning, gaining self-confidence, etc.

If Ghost is getting into a groove socially, perhaps consolidating high school would be a better strategy. Here, there are plans for finishing HS in 3 yrs vs. 4. You and he will need to judge whether middle school or HS would be the best time to "condense", but clearly he's able to move ahead...now it's just other factors to think about. I would suggest, based on what you said, to move your daughter ahead earlier, so the middle/high school years will be intact.

One other note is that my oldest son plays soccer with his buddies from high school. He has always been used to being the smartest, best at everything, so even though he's very good, his size/development disadvantage make soccer a challenge for him and something he is not the best at. I think it's good for him.

Good Luck & let us know what you decide--I'm so interested to hear how others solve these difficult decisions.

Cym

I'm sure you're right!

I guess the relevant part of my experience is that if Ghost is finding school extremely unpleasant, he may see an advantage in getting it over with as quickly as possible.

No, not at all. They were willing to juggle my son's schedule for 2 years.
I just got off the phone with a mom of my dd friend. Both DD and her friend got 100% on LA portion of end of level test. In addition, friend got 100% on math as well. My daughter did not get 100% as she has made one mistake. Over the summer friend's mom has met wit the principle x 2 to discuss grade skip. The prinicipal did not agree to grade skip, citing friend's imaturity as the main reason (the girl is tall, looks like at least 6th grader, but is really clingy to her friends and has some difficulties sharing them)but she did accomodate her by placing her in 6th grade for LA and Math. And there is a promise of placing her in 7th grade for LA/math next year. Here though is my problem - I would not be so sure about it. The school seems to be changing it's format from year to year. Look at my previous post and see, that my son was much better accomodated in 5th grade than he is now. I realy see now that you HAVE to take it year by year :=)
There is a little problem here as we are seriously considering Ib program for him.And IB program is inflexile, he will have to be in it for the entire 4 years (9-10 is pre-IB, 11-12 is IB diploma).

One other thing. That mom I just spoke to has told me, that there were only a handful of kids who scored "above grade level" at that end of level 4th grade test. The rest was either "at level" or "below". This is quite interesting piece of information.

I am going to present him this point of view when he gets back home tomorrow :=)

H Ania -
sorry this is turning in to such a hassle. I'll bet that when Ghost returns from the weekend with dad he is seeing things differently.
As for DD's friend - I wonder if the clingy/immature behavior is caused by misplacement in the first place?

Love,
Trin

No, Ghost did not change his stand.
He does not want to be accelerated to 8th grade at this point. Reasons are PE, friends, girls, girls again (yep, he is already getting into this stage and realizes that older girls won't have anything to do with him). He will accept anything but a comlete grade skip.
Over the weekend a poster from CC e-mailed me a long story of her son's math and sciences acceleration. A great story of perserverance, luck, and just searching for the best options. He started to be accelerated in 7th grade. By 8th grade he was done with AP Calculus BC and AP Physics.All through HS he was allowed to proceed on his own. He is starting his second year at Harvard this fall.

So this am at the school I spoke again briefly with DD LA teacher (the one that started the whole commotion). She is visibly advocating a full grade skip for DD, I am still not so sure about it. She knows Ghost really well (her son and him are best buddies)and still told me that if he does not want to skip, that is his problem and that I should not hold back DD because of family dynamics. She does have a point. Anyway, we started looking for Principal and she was nowhere to be found. Then I found the Principal and together we started looking fo LA teacher. While walking the hallways, I explained to P. what it was all about. She was open to discussing the situation but very much against the whole grade skip. Anyway, it was really late by the time the three of us found each other and now I have 1:30 P.M. meeting to discuss Ghost and I was promised that by this time she will look into my D situation.

Now, lets talk about what we want to advocate for Ghost. We want him to be moved to 8grade LA at least and do some kind of an online course (like writingguide.com) during LA. We also will be asking for an individual course of study in Science.Since the school worry so much about end of level testing, we will propose that Ghost takes end of level in a month or so(mock end of level), to prove that he is ready (I think that one month will be plenty to cover 7th grade science curricula) and during classes be allowed to take online chemistry and physics rom BYU.
He is far enough in math already, he needs to start using this knowledge in other subjects.
Any suggestions as to my arguments? I still have more than 3 hours to brainstorm. Will be checking back frequently.

A - If the teacher says DD can do the work, she can. But check her scores against the Iowa Acceleration Manual, just in case. If I have score saying one thing, and a child's school performance saying another thing - I'm going to put more weight on which everone suggests a higher level. ((but you knew that - wink))
B- so what if DD skips and DS doesn't - I'm not being silly, I'm curious.
C - if DS doesn't want to skip, and is willing to do challenging work, at home or in school, that's his business. Perhaps he would like a chance to skip now for the academics, and take a "year off" later, before highschool for "homeschooling" that way his body can catch up?
D- Although I know that the IASM says that the child MUST be "on board" I have seen that taken with a grain of salt amoung the "top tenth of a percent" types. As in "the child is not resisting any more after much parental persuation/bribery." One friend got her son to agree to skipping 5th based on "think of all the 5th grade homework you won't ever have to do."

Best Wishes,
Trinity

Ania,

I would just like to add that the ego boost may be an added bonus for DD, since her brother is the �genius� of the two. My daughter�s classmates and friends often refer to her brother as a brainiac. She is generally fine with that characterization because they presume that she is also somewhat in the same intellectual �ballpark�. On occasion she compares herself unfavorably to her brother. I can always point out that he was just early entranced, by she actually skipped a grade �he may be subject accelerated in math, but she was subject accelerated across the board. I think it enhances her self perception to know this.

Ania:

I think if your dd is willing to skip, you should let her.

Even if she is "just" in the top 3-5 percent, she is probably bored with her classes and ready to move on. I subject-accelerated in jr high (20+ years ago) and really liked getting out of that scene faster!

I think this decision should not depend at all on what DS is doing. If DS doesn't want to grade skip, I would encourage him to subject accelerate in his areas of greatest interest. He will still get to see his friend and girls his age every day.

Good luck!

BK

The meeting is over. I hate these meetings!! Always feel like such a pushy mom. Can you believe that I was actually apolegetic
for my kids beeing smart???
Anyway, P is very much against grade skip for D, agreed to put her in 6th grade math and LA. When asked what will happen next year, she said that we will see, she did not have answers. But as you know, we have to play it year by year.
She sees no problem with Ghost taking science classes at local HS.There is a charter HS within two blocks of our school and HS P has kids at our school. P thinks she will be very open to accomodating Ghost. BUT, she also suggested that Ghost might take 9th grade science at our school, which is Earth Sciences. She gave us the book and asked to think about it. To me the book looks also like something he can cover within a period of a few weeks. Also, Earth Sciences is not a prerequisite to any other science courses. Is it important? I think it is.
P also told me that Ghost is still so young and he has got so much time to take these classes in the future. As much as I like P, even though she intimidates me, I hated listening to that. Made me feel like this pushy mom who is driving her child insane. Hate it!!!
Meeting with the P of a charter HS tomorrow. And meeting with the coordinator of an IB program in two weeks.
Have to go now,
Ania

Oh, I forgot to mention that H and I decided that Ghost will ultimately decide if he wants to take 9th grade course or go to HS for one class.I am not going to push him...

Ania -
You are not pushy! You didn't bring up DD's situation - her TEACHER did. It isn't your fault that your kids are smart, ok, beyond the "tainted" blood/genes, it really isn't!
Good luck with the next meetings.

P sounds like she doesn't know her data or have a clue. Burns me up when people in positions of athority abuse that athority.

To be honest, you are much better skipping DD now, then waiting to skip her "bridge year" - partially because she is willing now, and partially because the IAS manual really discourages missing the last year in any building. I have personal experience here, and it isn't easy organizationally!

My hunch is that if you push, just a little bit more, nicely, with a calm written letter requesting that DD enter 7th this year, that you will do her a lot of good. Don't let your emotions get in the way of what is your best judgement, please!

Love and More Love, because these are hard places,
Trinity

Thank you ladies for all the support!
Funny Trinity, that P also mentioned those "tinted genes".
DD will start 6th grade math and LA tomorrow. She is happy. Will see how it goes, will keep my eyes open over the next month or so. P/T conferences are the 20 of September.
Ghost is still thinking, searching online what biology/chemistry/physics HS courses are all about.
What do you think about Earth Sciences? Is it a dead point or no?

Ania

So much depends on the teacher. DS11 is doing Earth Science this year, with an into to Chemistry and Physics. I expect them to keep feeding the kids information - there were memorizing almost all the bones in the body last year! If the book looks very superficial, it would be good to find out (how?) if the teacher goes into more detail or sticks to what's in there. My thought is, why mess around with something that looks "too easy" right from the begining?

Yes, it is my experience that Earth Science doesn't get built on during High School. When I went to High School the 9th graders who were "college prep" took Earth Science, but the "honors" kids who were headed towards AP Physics and AP Chemistry skipped it. Of course that was a long time ago!

BTW - Congradulations on DD's subject accelerations. Sounds like you are off to a good start!

smiles,
Trinity

I agree Trinity that a lot depends on a teacher.
I should probably have a talk with S current science teacher. She is very young, this is her first year of teaching, but maybe she will have some insights.

I was trying to get in on the conversation a couple of days but I could not remember the password.

My two daughters skipped a grade in middle school. At that time, there was a lot of stress about whether we were doing the right thing or not. But it turned out to be one of the best moves for them. I can�t imagine them stuck one grade lower now.

When my older daughter entered 6th grade, we requested to skip math after a week because it was just waste of time. Teachers gave her a couple of tests to make sure that she was advanced enough. Then she was allowed to move to 7th grade math class. Half year later, her English teacher told us that we should consider moving her LA and history classes as well. So we did. As a result, she was more than half way skipped. Only PE, Science and Band classes were still with kids of her old grade.

This worked fine for another year, but by 8th grade, there were problems. She had to take Math, English and History in nearby high school and then came back for rest of classes. It just became a logistical nightmare. On top of that, the local HS is not the one we want her to attend. So decision was simple, let her skip a whole grade. The middle school was very supportive on this. I did not have to arm wrestle with anyone.

For my younger daughter, we already know the consequence and the potential problem of subject skipping. So she just went straight to skip the 6th grade. We armed with her CTY SCAT test score, her writing portfolio and some other awards when we talked to Principal and consoler. Then it was done.

I think that it is relative easy for girls to skip a grade in middle school. My older daughter started out with subject skipping so it gives her time to make new friends while still have the connections with her old classmates. It took a bit effort; she was eventually accepted into the group. My younger daughter had an easier time. She moved up a grade and just inherited her sister�s friends. For boys, the experience might be different. Being smart is not cool in middle school, especially for boys.

If you are not totally sure about grade skipping, then you can start with subject skipping on their strongest subjects. You can stay this way or move to whole grad skipping later. If the kid is doing well in subject skipping, it is much easier to talk to Principal for grade skipping.

UPDATE
Talked to HS Principal. She is absolutely new to a situation like that, never had any middle schoolers take courses at her HS. Promised to check on credits and said she will contact our Principal.
Since she told me that Bio class is in fourth period and I was not sure what class Ghost has at that time, I stopped at his school to request a copy of his schedule. Principal that we spoke to yesterday was in the office, together with VP, a former Science teacher. They asked me to come and talk to him. He started persuading me gently that 7th grade science curriclum is not the one to skip. Apparently it introduces all science disciplines, lies foundations for chemistry and physics. I know, I looked through the textbook yesterday :-)
Again I repeated my worry that Ghost is way ahead of his classmates, both in his knowledge as well as logical thinking - how I hate saying things like that to people who obviously have no clue about gifted education - and that I worry that his growth will be halted if he is not able to move ahead. They disagreed,
but did not say no to whatever we are going to decide.
They asked if Ghost thinks that this class will be way easy and boring for him.. I answered honestly that he never tells me that
classes are boring - he is kind of happy actually that he does not have to do much in order to get an A. The only thing he will complain about is a boring teacher.
I was not furious. Ghost really likes and kind of adores VP, I liked them both because they try to listen and did let me introduce tons of new ideas to the school within the last two years. My kids really like the school, they have one hour of Spanish every day and they are becoming quite good at it, they are learning Mandarin. Ghost is greately accomodated in Math.
So I was not furious, but dissapointed. Their message was clear - let him be a kid, he still has time to learn all of it later, don't push him so hard...
Met with H for lunch. We agreed that we will let him stay in 7th grade science but will request an individual research assignment
for each unit they are going trough (like Biology, Botany, Genetics etc.) Of course Ghost will have to OK that.
Next week we are meeting with an IB coordinator. She is also a coordinator for an ELP program at the same HS. We will see if there are any chances of Ghost getting into an ELP program for 8th grade. There were no chances for 7th, as he is out of district, but maybe dynamics of 8th grade admissions are different.
Feeling a little down. On top of it I have a deposition in one hour at the hospital, and they generally last forever.
Ania

Ania -
It is so hard to ever know. A full daily hour of Spanish, good Math and Mandarin sound good. The fact that he is happy is good. You aren't seeing any signs of perfectionism in Ghost is good.

But LOL - I will be so dissapointed if you let him off the hook for "special in depth projects." I always have the idea that you have done so well with clearly communicating that he is expected to work hard at academics, at least some of the time.


I think that I would encourage you to lay out the science plan, and then see how he feels about the "extra" assignments, and if he balks at the "extra" work, raise one eyebrow while you bore into his eyes, and tell him that Trinity's son had to be gradeskipped because he didn't want to do any "extra" work, and now he has an hour of homework every night at age 11 in 7th grade! Work beyond what the agemates are doing isn't "extra" for our boys. They are expected to put in proper effort no matter what the sign on the door says, no matter the ability of the kid sitting next to him.

DS11 knows in his heart that he needs to be with kids 1 to 2 years older in order to be "just like everyone else" but he sometimes looks back with nostalgia at long days in school doing nothing but reading in his desk. DS11 does remember that being asked "too easy" questions make him very nervous, always looking for the trick part of the question that they couldn't possibly be asking.

We weigh every decision so carefully, but the good news is that we only have to "be in the ballpark," not perfect. I have a feeling that both boys are going to have very good years this year!

Smiles,
Trin

The problem has resurfaced.
LA teacher has approached me again yesterday and said that she is talking to Principal re: my DD and her skip to 6th grade now, mid year.
She says DD does not belong with 5th graders, she is fully immersed in 6th grade class and is actually annoyed at having to do some projects with her 5th grade classmates.
And there are field trips. 6th graders are taking a full day LA field trip this week, and my daughter is not going since she is "technically" a 5th grader. Same goes for essay assignments on the computer. DD has tough time accessing hers at home since she is registered as a 5th grader and her assignments are in 6th grade "slots".
So back to emotional roller coaster again.
While clearly she is not in the same "ball park" as her older brother, her class is at a very, very low level and I think this is part of the reason she "looks like a genius" compared to them.
DD wants to skip, badly. I am beginning to think it might be actually a good think for her to do (if you remember, I was pretty much against it).I am beginning to understan what Dottie, I think , said. That it might be a good self esteem booster for DD, who is constantly overshadowed by Ghost.
She is very mature emotionally and socially, looks though like a feather.
Wil keep you updated.

((Ania))
If you look at the Ruf Data, many many children will benifit from a single grade skip. My DS hated being subject accelerated, compared to a full skip - too much dancing around.

I would run the Iowa Acceleration Scale Manual numbers just to be sure she is at least a "good" or "moderate" candidate for acceleration.

It is so easy for us to underestimate our MG kids. But look at how many of us are "only" MG, and it made a big difference!

((hugs))
Trinity

Ok, here is a little update...

5th grade teachers met with P and V-P last Wednesday. From what I understand, there were no objections. We are scheduled to meet with P tomorrow A.M.
DD friend and parents met with P last Friday. After the meeting friend told D that she is skipping to 6th when this quater is over. On the way back home from school my D looked MAJORLY depressed. I asked what is going on, she said "nothing". I asked
if everything went well that day, she answered "yes". Then I got a hinch and asked if she worries about skiping, and then it all started....
DD does not want to skip ! She said that initially she has been all for it because it seemed prestigious and she wanted to be closer to 6th grade girls. Now she started thinking (and listening to us talk) about other consequences and she wants to stay where she is. Looks like she has really made up her mind. At this point we are not going to ask for grade skip any more. I wonder what expression I am going to see on P face tomorrow???

Ania -
Can she do it as a trial? perhaps 6 weeks to see if she likes it?

Wow! That's an eye opener.

((shrug))
Trin

I think part of it could be atributed to last minute jitters.
The reasons we are all discussing :
-she is not physically mature
-she loves her International Studies teacher and skipping now would mean only few more months with her, as 7th grade does not have IS. She learns tons in that class, knowledge usually not offered in US schools at this level.
-she fears she will loose her edge in academic competitions, and we do a lot of those.
-both 5th and 6th grade science are very hands on and she is beginning to get really into it. She loves hands on aspect of that class.

As for trying it for a few weeks, well, she is already taking 2 classes a day with 6th graders (LA and Math), they are also mixed for Spanish. My understanding is she will continue to be accelerated, but will know more tomorrow:-)

Hi my internet family:
I come home fom the meeting and the first thing to do is to log onto this site :-)

It was just VP, P injured her back and is on some strong muscle relaxants. He totally agreed with us that she has to be on board for the skip, otherwise it is pointless. So we are basically saying "No, thanx for the offer". She can still change her mind as the skip would not happen until mid. January or so, but I don't think she will.
As we entered the school today, she said "remember, if they make me skip, I am going back to X (private school she used to attend)"
This has been adressed Dottie. She is currently taking highest level 6th grade LA (school does group according to ability) and highest level 6th grade math. In math they are practically done with 6th grade curriculum and are moving into pre-alg.

We did that over the weekend, both with me (christmas concert) and with dad (skiing). All she talked about was how she did not want to be skipped.

As for the middle school, it is in the same biulding that she is curretly in and yes, they try to do informal "ability grouping". The big word here is TRY. But things to change significantly from year to year at this school. From what I sensed at today's meeting, they are going to hire more part time math teachers (I have a hunch that the current math teacher is not leaving).
If she does not skip, she will be still doing middle school math next year, most likely Algebra. What I see dark as far as aceleration is LA. She is , like I have said, doing highest level 6th grade work and still excells. Going to 7th grade LA next year is not such a great idea (see my other posts). I think that she will be better off staying in 6th and doing some individual studying.

[quote=Ania-she loves her International Studies teacher and skipping now would mean only few more months with her, as 7th grade does not have IS. She learns tons in that class, knowledge usually not offered in US schools at this level.
-both 5th and 6th grade science are very hands on and she is beginning to get really into it. She loves hands on aspect of that class.
she is already taking 2 classes a day with 6th graders (LA and Math), they are also mixed for Spanish. [/quote]

Hi Ania,
That's good that the school is open to her staying were she is for now. I highlighted the areas above which I feel are so important to her keeping what she has. Now I'm trying to remember why the skip was looked for in the first place. Certianly she knows that she is being taken seriously as a learner, so perhaps being offered the skip and deciding to stay where she is is the best possible world for her, at this time.

Roger's Re-forming gifted education is wonderful for taking apart all of the possible options and trying to get a group of options that work for the individual child. One good teacher can make all of the difference! Sounds like dd has a wonderful program for this year. Celebrate, and then let us know what's on tap for next year!

Smiles,
Trinity

You are right Trin that her needs are being met right now. The idea of skipping came around because:
-scheduling for next ear would be much, much easier
-mom of the other girl was really pursuing it
-a well meaning LA teacher sees her as the brightest star in her class.
By the way, that LA teacher was shocked when I told her today.She told my D right there, on the spot "you are going to be very bored next year young lady", to which D replied "that's OK"
I have a strong feeling right now as to why D does not want to skip. Ghost is a school star, best scholar, SB officer, NJHS member, tutors kids, everybody knows his name kind of kid. SHE wants to achieve the same! She probably feels that is she skips now she will not be a leader any more!

This is tricky, and I agree with her reasons for wanting to stay where she is right now, but if you feel she could be all that WITH a gradeskip, then at some point I reccomend explaining to her that being a hero, at the cost of having one's needs met, is a bad, bad road to take. What if she was given the option of staying back so she could be sure to get as much praise and recognition as Ghost?

My guess is that you are right, and that you are going to have some 'teaching' to do here. Not an easy chore, but important. How many of us females have had the support to really push ourselves? Not many I would guess, unless economics was chasing at ones heels.

I'll bet she could do all that with a skip. If you agree, you owe it to her to 'put her on notice' that both is nice, but a 'right-sized' challenge is worth more.

Smiles and Love,
Trinity

I only have boys so I don't know much about the difference between gifted girls and boys except by observation of others' kids and having been one myself. Girls seem to be more sensitive to changes, more attached to friends, need more loving and nurturing. One bright girl we know skipped 5th and was doing very well in 6th grade academically. Surprisingly her mother removed her after 1st semester and put her back in 5th saying she was not mature enough. She wanted to hug everyone, hold hands with her classmates, and basically be a little kid a while longer (middle schools often have a no-touch policy). The mom supplements with jhy cty but felt strongly that the girl needed to be in elementary school a little longer.

This was not the case with my boys. They are all fine with skip and enjoyed the older kids more than they ever liked kids their own age. The only drawback is that the other boys go through puberty 1-2 years earlier than my kids, so they get teased a little. Then there's the very developed girls who can be pretty aggressive calling and asking my boys to the movies or a party. It's such a riot to see the 14 yr old "young women" flirting with my skinny 11 yr old. It will even out eventually I suppose.