I think I get your question, but the answer is complicated. I would say that the rate absolutely increases, with the lead getting greater with each passing year when compared to average. There have been other interesting peers popping up along the way though to keep some peers nearby.
However, I think the impact of the difference DEcelerates, even though the gap widens, if that makes any sense. I guess what I'm saying is that it seems less crazy to have a really sharp 4th grader, who is ahead say 6 years, than an equally bright 1st grader who is only ahead by 3.
I agree with what Dottie said. In 1st grade DS used to hit his head on the desk because things moved so slowly. Now, at age 12, that he has experienced 'non-busy' work, he had developed a fondness for it in reasonable doses, or course. He is much more mature and flexable these days. And there is much more 'work' to do at the Middle School level. Although I consider him 'de-underachievered' he hasn't (yet) been able to completely recapture that unselfconsious 'burn to learn' - although you should have seen him last summer with his Rubix cube, and last week with Chess.
Also, when kids get older, then tend to go to bigger schools, therefore meeting more kids who are more like them, and perhaps, if the school is on the ball, being placed in learning situations with them. In elementary, my son had 100 kids in his grade, in Middle he now has 200 kids in his grade. Next year in High School, he will have 400 kids in his grade. Also, in High School and Middle School, subject Accelerations are easier to structure, if the school has the will to do it. There is also more free choice - which our kids seem to love. KWIM?
Also, when the child is older, more summer and saturday enrichment opens up. But the biggest difference is that they nature of the work changes in 6th grade. The teachers are taught that 'children are concrete thinkers' and really avoid any kind of abstract though in elementary. In Middle School they slowly introduce activities that require abstract thought, like putting a new fish in your tank inside it's plastic bag. Many Gifted kids 'fit' better in Middle School (or advanced 4th grade in a school like yours) because they can be appreciated for their abstract thought, and not just compliance, methodicalness, and neatness. (all fine qualities, but they kind of missed the boat for my kid.)
BUT - your dd is showing all the signs of perfectionism, so something does have to be done. Have you talked to the school about this? What about some Subject Accelerations starting this January? Sometimes it takes very little adjustment to make a huge difference.
AND - Let's talk about money. Many people have to pay a lot of money to attend private school. If you are one of them, think about what else you could do with half that money (private tutor during school hours in place of boringest subject?) KWIM?
Make sure sure sure to sit in the classrooms of any proposed new school and observe the teachers and the kids. Stuff cotton in your ears when the Admissions folks talk to you. They use all the same words that we do here, but unless you see a teacher giving a pretest and moving the child to another classroom, just don't believe a thing they say. Look at the learning materials in the various rooms and ask yourself 'What message would my daugher get here?' How much group work is the child expected to do, and who picks the groups?
Good for you that you are noticing these things. Good for you that you are willing to do somehting about it! Yippee!
Love and More Love,
Grinity
