Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Should I be concerned?

I had a conference with DS' teacher today. I'm a little confused since she never reported any difficulties to me. I see her almost every day at pickup time, and she sends home a weekly report which has always been a-okay.

She says DS has a short attention span (~20 mins) and tunes her out sometimes when she's teaching. When he's spacing out he fails to get his books out and move on to the next activity, so he is also disorganized. She says his writing is messy and she has been working with him one-on-one to fill in "holes" in his language arts such as the difference between long and short vowels. She says that DS is frustrated by these sessions and tells her that he "gets it" and wants to go back to his seat and work. He is rushed with his written work and forgets capitals and end punctuation. Still, he has an S in writing.

On the other hand, she says that DS has an S+ in reading, has all 100% on his AR quizzes at level 2.4-2.8 (she is planning to let him go up a level now), has an S+ in math and is on track to finish 2nd grade math by January. She will then allow him (and a few other kids in the class) to go on to third grade math, but they will have to use a textbook from several years ago because the third grade teachers don't want her to teach them from the current 3rd grade textbook. DS also has an S+ in science. She also told me that she likes having DS in class because he seems very excited about school, for example, when she introduced a new social studies unit he was very enthusiastic and engaged. (I'm thinking the key word here is "new"...)

She warned me not to push him ahead beyond his ability to function.

Anyway, I'm just not sure what to make of it all.

Hmmm...What's your gut sense of it?

It doesn't sound bad to me except for the nitpickiness of the writing stuff. Though then again, I'm not sure she's quite getting him either.

Not much help, am I? Sorry...

Do you think maybe she's expecting more out of him than the other kids since he's been moved up? It sounds to me that the behaviors she thinks are concerns would otherwise be normal in his grade? Although I don't really know. Just that he's still getting an S but there are the concerns...

I guess I might have to ask her what she means by not pushing him ahead of his ability to function. Does she mean his handwriting would not be good enough to do more advanced things?

sorry, i'm not much help either.

I guess my gut feeling is that if this stuff were actually a major issue, she would have brought it up sooner.

It reminds me of the stuff his K teacher said--i.e. yes, he can do academic work, but he lacks social and gross motor skills. Oddly, the 2nd grade teacher didn't complain about his social or gross motor skills at all. It's like they have to find something to ding him on. Sigh.

She said that when she was talking about organizational skills. The example she gave was that he was spacing out when she was explaining how to know when to add or subtract when doing story problems and he failed to get his book out when it was time to move on.

DS has a good intuitive grasp of how to do story problems. I know he needs to learn to listen enough to catch instructions and things that are new. But, I think he has gotten into the habit of tuning out because so much of what she says is repetition for him.

DS8's psych said that once DS gets to the point where he's missing out on assignments, missing directions b/c he's tunning out, then that's the time for academic intervention. However, emotionally DS was beyond the breaking point I think but b/c he was performing very well, the psych thought to leave things as they are, hoping that a 1hr/week pullout in 3rd grade would be enough of a carrot to help him get through the week. But he did say what I mentioned above about spacing out. A friend of mind also reported her son was having the same issue - ie teacher complained of missing assignments, not moving on, b/c he was tuning out.

Well, according to his report card, he is turning in all his work on time, and apparently getting good grades on it--except for his writing being messy.

My gut (based on your gut...) is that this is the truth. I think it's hard for a teacher to say "All is well," especially when the child is already ahead. And writing is the easy thing to ding. So they ding that, even if it's the first you've heard of it and he's getting an S. If it's not an S+, then he gets the ding.

But I freely admit that I'm talking out of my hat here!

He is just tuning her out. It's ok, and like you said they need to find something to improve. I wouldn't worry about it.

Thanks, Kriston and LMom. I guess I didn't think there was a problem before, and he's on track and getting mostly S+, so what am I worried about, eh?

I just wish that I felt like the school was supportive. Instead, I feel like DS always has to prove himself. I don't want it to be like that. He's allowed to not be good at everything.

I read it as she was trying to provide you a "balance" and safe view on your ds's development. Almost in line with what the others have said above... these are the negatives....so now we move on to the positive. I won't be too worried since he has S and S+.I don't think she wants you to do anything more at home re. academics with this statement
"She warned me not to push him ahead beyond his ability to function"
Although I will take it as a pinch of salt since there will also always be others who think that we are "pushing" our kids.

DD7's teacher told us when we went over her report card that she has to mark things in a way that allows room to show future progress.

She also said that when they do science projects, that the kids never get a 4 (independent work) because they always have to help the kids so that supplies don't get broken. So the best they can do is get a 3, (at grade level).

I think you are right when you say that the teacher has to "ding your ds" for something!

I have done that with dd9. My response is usually, if she is doing so wonderfully, then why are you not pushing her a little more!

Oh, of course they did!! Every time!! First we changed schools (that was last Oct.), then we met with the principal at the new school, she suggested a teacher change and then she (the principal) took time to work with DD 2x a week on language arts and math!!

This year, her teacher is so creative that even in the midst of emotional upheavals, she seems to "get my dd" and pushes her and yet only grades her on typical 3rd grade work. So, her report card reflects all "A" but the "above and beyond" is not included in those scores. DD is a perfectionist and getting a "C" because she was exploring something new and not being great is hard for her. The teacher so "gets dd", we are having a great year. When ever we have an issue or a question, the response is within 24 hours and there seems to be a great solution!

I like that the teacher will approach DD when I e-mail an issue. She is encouraging in a manner that allows dd to be part of the solution and take me out of the middle. I've seem some positive changes in dds ability to self advocate!

[quote=Cathy A]I had a conference with DS' teacher today. I'm a little confused since she never reported any difficulties to me.

I would view her comments as "constructive criticism," not necessarily problems but areas to improve. It sounds like she really knows your DS well. Some of his inattentiveness/rushing is likely age-appropriate, and she's simply pointing out that he could do better in that area.

I appreciate these kinds of teacher conferences. My DS' conference was very similar, with great observations about his incredible fund of knowledge and verbal skills, and equally useful observations about his need to spend more time to check his work, etc. Several of DD's conferences have been fairly generic to the point that I think, "Does the teacher really know my child?"

Thanks, everybody. I guess I'm just so desperate for the skip to work this time that I'm a little paranoid.

She is doing a lot of things right, like letting him do 3rd grade AR and 3rd grade math. It just seems to take so long to get there, because she wants to verify that he knows everything along the way.

I think that maybe she sees that he is capable of 3rd grade academics but is warning me off of trying to skip him again. I would agree with that, I don't think this would be a good time to skip again.

I totally agree with Dottie. I think she hit it on the nose. The teacher probably has a routine that she follows. It sounds like your child is doing fine.

I forgot to comment on this part yesterday. I am filling out holes in DS6 math knowledge and his reaction is pretty much the same like your son's He usually only needs a hint and then he doesn't need more and very often doesn't even want to hear more. For example yesterday we came across improper fractions. He didn't know the term but he knew exactly what such fractions meant, how to simplify them and change them to mixed numbers. "Hole" filled. As long as the teacher can keep the sessions under 1 minute he will be fine anything beyond 3 minutes is annoying

It doesn't sound like 1 minute sessions. She said that DS says, "I know how to do this! I want to do it myself." And she tells him, "Ok, but if you miss the whole page, don't blame me."

It sounds to me like she just wants to satisfy herself that there aren't "holes".

I would ask the teacher to clarify what she means by "disorganization". From your description the most likely explanation is that he's not engaged in learning so he spaces out (perhaps due to too much repetition or already knowing the material). To me, examples of disorganization would be misplacing things, not remembering to bring assignments back to school because they weren't put in his folder, poor time management, etc.