Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Is my 2 year old gifted?

Can you send her to grandma's house? Or maybe my mom will take her! She's in IN, too.

It worked for me...

I'd send her anywhere if it meant she came back diaper-free!!! haha

Dottie, my DD has been incredibly stubborn since birth. My DM says I'm being paid back and then some. She gets a double dose from DH AND me -- we're hosed. Can't wait to see how stubborn DD6mo. turns out to be.

She does go to her grandma's twice a week when I work outside the home, but I think she's worse for her than for me. I don't think DMIL has had as much patience with it, even though at first she basically told me she could potty train her in a day. After seeing exactly how stubborn DD can be, DMIL changed her tune pretty fast. After all, how do you motivate a child to change her routine when she doesn't care about walking around in wet/soiled underwear and getting rewards for being dry/going on the potty?? As far as DD is concerned, she's got it made -- she pees, I change her. We do make her throw her diaper away, though, so she has to take some part of it. But that doesn't seem to do anything either.

DH said we need a child psychologist because DD is just crazy.

Maybe we (this board) can get a group discount for all our kids.

Seriously, I am curious what comes of your potty training issues with your DD since my DD is 27 months and going down that same slippery path. It doesn't bother her to have wet and soiled diapers on b/c changing them slow down or interfers with her activity of the moment. So with this logic getting her to go to the potty just takes even more time away. I think Dottie is right about potty training them earlier rather than latter b/c maybe they wouldn't be able to argue against it so well!

I agree with dottie, train them early, as soon as they show signs of readiness.

The first thing I would do is get a good potty training book and a peeing doll. Go over the material with her and tell her she is a big girl and is now done with diapers. At first take her every 15 to 20 minutes so you can catch her being succsesful. When she goes in the potty make a big deal about it. When she has a accident do not do anything. Do not react at all, just clean her up and change her clothes. Gradually increase the time between potty trips as she stays dry. Have any other care givers follow the same pattern you are doing at home.

Another thing that worked really well when my daughter was capable of staying dry was I quit taking a diaper bag out with us. If she had an accident we just went home(she was not in trouble thats just where her clothes were). This worked for her because she loves to be out and about. If our DD had to leave a play group or the park because she was wet it really motivated her to make it to the potty next time. Just make sure the places you go have potties and your DD knows where they are.

My DS4 was really hard to potty train, he was 3.5 when we finally got him out of diapers, but he still wears Good Nights at night because he can't stay dry. For us, it seemed that I had to really mean business before he trained and when he did it was simply because I didn't give him any other option. I would have just had to keep cleaning the carpet because I absolutely wasn't going to put him back in a diaper.

He simply refused to sit on the potty to begin with, so we did bribe him one time- he wanted a new Thomas the Train engine so we told him if he would pee on the potty 3x without an accident in between we would go right then to get it. We printed out a picture of the train he wanted and let him color it, then we hung it up near the potty where he could see it. We did that in the morning and that afternoon we went to the toy store because he had done what we asked.

Once we had him peeing on the potty we didn't do any more rewards. I literally walked him to the potty every 10 minutes, I joke that I nagged him into potty training but it's actually not far from the truth. It became easier for him to interrupt his play to potty than to be interrupted by me every 10 minutes and have to sit for a minimum of 5 minutes. Don't get me wrong, I had more than my fair share of him going on the floor in between my taking him, just out of defiance, but eventually I wore him down. I didn't yell or scream at him when he had an accident (which is *really* hard!), I had him sit on the potty while I cleaned it up and we moved on.

With my stubborn kid, I had to be ready to win the battle of wills. I had to be sick enough of it that I wouldn't back down no matter what. And I think he realized when I got to that point and didn't fight as much as he had previously.

DS6 just one day at 2.5 announced that he was going to use the potty and that was that. DD2 will only sit on the potty when no one is paying attention, she can undress herself, get up there, wipe and be out of the bathroom in no time. If I say so much as "good job", she will pee on the floor the next time, if I ignore it chances are good she'll go on the potty again later. It has to be her idea or she fights me, so for now I'm letting it go because she's working towards training.

I think I've had the gamut of potty trainers and I can honestly say that it's nothing that I've done or not done to cause it!

ETA: In re-reading, it seems like maybe I was a bit mean, but really, the child could go to the potty (as evidenced by the rapid earning of the train), he just *refused*. I wouldn't use this method for a kid who isn't completely willful and stubborn.

Skyward, I did try that method -- taking her to the potty at certain intervals. She can stay dry for at least an hour and a half, but I think she pees out of spite. That sounds weird or paranoid, I know, but just think of this. . . On the second day of training with underwear and no diaper, my DD had just been to the potty. We were playing in the family room, she looked at me with this little smirk and peed right down her leg. So she'll stay dry if she wants to, but if she's trying to prove a point, she'll pee herself every 15 minutes just to do it.

Making a big deal out of being dry and going on the potty has done nothing for her. We've danced, sang, clapped, gotten stickers, hugs, smiles, cheers, etc.

I think to her, it's a nuisance. Like master's DD, mine is extremely strong-willed and manipulative.

This is why I feel a little stuck and confused. Sigh!

I'm no help personally- DS was 26 months and wanted to go to the "big kid class" at preschool because they had a computer. He trained himself in two days. However- I did watch my good friend train her VERY stubborn 4 year old. Yes... 4 year old.

She told him "Today you will go on the potty, no more excuses." Then she did kind of a reverse time-out. When he was in the bathroom, she read stories, played games and talked to him. When out, she completely ignored him and left in in the living room with nothing to do. She set the timer for every 20 min to go in the bathroom and went in there on her own to play etc. It worked like a charm because that was where the excitement and attention was. It took one full day of this and everything was fine after!

Now, he was much older and very obviously ready. But if you have an older stubborn one, it might work for you!

To HoosierMommy,
So she is capable of staying dry! Well I still think you should try it. Find a potty book an explain it like she has never heard it before, and reintroduce the whole thing. Tell her your done with diapers and hold your ground. Set up her environment so it is way more convienient to go in the potty. It sounds like she knows what to do. When we re-explained it to DD she said I already know.

We would take DD out on purpose to my parents house who were in on the plan. I would give her opportunities to go and if she had an accident we had to go home and get new clothes, no more playing so sad. We lived 30 min away so we could not go back that day(a natural consequence)You can't fight with nature.

DD originally was potty trained at 16months which was initiated by her (wearing underware no accidents). Then around 2 after spending the week with Grandma who thought she was to young to be trained and I must be pressuring her, DD decided it was more convienent to go in her pants and would tell me,"Im busy and grandma says sometimes 2 year olds go in thier pants." We reintroduced everything just in case and after a few unexpected trips home she was all set.

On the other hand I have a 20m old DS who is not ready for the potty quite yet. And we really do love Grandma.

Wow, CAMom! That's a great idea, and it's a new one to me. (Honestly, I thought I'd heard 'em all, too!)

If I had a child to train, this is what I'd be trying! It makes such good sense.

Thanks for adding the above b/c I have to say potty training is hard enough but to not have the support of the extended family makes it ten times worse. Most grandparents would use the early potty training as bragging rights not attempting to undo it.