Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Feeling frustrated! Advice?

Have you checked out the educational laws in your state? Many states have gifted ed mandates incorporated into their regulations for special ed. While I am generally a firm believer that you get more flies with honey than vinegar, it sounds like honey hasn't worked so far in your case. If your kid isn't get any meaningful benefit from school (i.e., learning) you may have to fight for an appropriate education, as daunting as that sounds. Perhaps you could try to find a special ed advocate to help you. Many work for a small fee or pro-bono.

Gratified: Thank you for your feisty response. It gives me some ideas on where to go next. Since the teacher seems both afraid of the principal and completely overwhelmed, I wasn't sure where to go. I was also told by the principal before this meeting that we "didn't need to involve the district because we just aren't there yet." I guess I get to decide that we actually ARE there NOW.

Jool: I am just starting to look into our state law. The GT teacher is going to write up an Advanced Learning Plan that I can look at and either sign or not sign. I won't see a copy of that until after Thanksgiving. Based on the meeting, I don't think I'll be signing it.

Jeni-

I think many schools also tend to be dismissive of single parents, moms in particular. You might consider going in to a meeting with a male friend who you can identify as an "advocate" for your child. He doesn't even have to say much, just take a few notes and look deeply concerned. It seems that the principal is just trying to intimidate you. Intimidate her back! If you have a lawyer friend, that would be even better...

Jeni,

I agree with other posters you must continue to advocate for your child. I might try reaching out to the principal one more time. Try arranging a one on one meeting. That way the principal does not have to impress any underlings during the meeting. Come armed with research and let her know firmly but in a kind way that if she cannot come up with a plan to accomodate your child that you will need to look to others within the district for help with a plan. My experience has been that most schools desparately fear losing their brightest students and if she finds that her strong arm approach to you isn't working she may relent a bit. Give her the opportunity to relent without losing face.

This surprised me. It seems like many schools are trying to drive their brightest students out. I'm interested in hearing more about your experience because it may help in my advocacy efforts.

In our district children identified as gifted can leave their local school and attend a special program at another school with other children of similar ability. There has been much discussion about principals, teachers, and other school officials trying to keep their best and brightest at home so that they can keep test scores up. There are several articles about this type of situation on the Gifted Exchange Blog. I have also heard the stories locally in our schools. The gifted centers have been referred to as "brain drains".

Jeni,

If your son's scores qualify him for DYS then that means he's probably testing at least 3 grades ahead in achievment (likely much more, right?). That would be like asking an average 5th grader to accept being in a 2nd grade math or reading class. I don't understand how a school can ignore that or think that's ok, though I know that they do. You couldn't satisfy a 5th grader in a 2nd grade class by giving a few extra projects. I mean, come on!

I've recommended a book to others privately but I'll post it here too because it has been so helpful to me. I highly recommend that you take a look at it. It's called Academic Advocacy for Gifted Children by Barbara Gilman. Bobbie is with the Gifted Development Center out of Denver, CO. You can order the book through their website at www.gifteddevelopment.com. It's really a great resource and contains more than just advocacy information.

I wish you the best. I know you are so frustrated for your son right now. The people who participate in this forum have so much experience, heart, and wisdom. You will feel very welcome here and will hopefully find a good solution for your DS.

Thanks lanfan,
That makes sense and goes with this blog entry form Unwrapping the Gifted:
http://blogs.edweek.org/teachers/unwrapping_the_gifted/2008/03/

Your statement surprised me because if schools are so interested in keeping their outstanding students, it would be reasonable to expect them to be responsive in meeting gifted learners' needs.

Hi Jeni, Welcome to the Board. If it hasn't been mentioned, you are going to need to be a real stickler for documentation - who you talked to, how many times you called before making contact, what was said, etc. I would make any and all requests to the school, particularly the principal, in writing. If you have made verbal requests, follow up in writing. If you aren't getting any response from the principal, start copying the superintendent on your requests. Make waves... Your child's education is too important to be ignored (as is your child's emotional well-being). If you don't have this already, here is a link to state by state gifted education policy: GT State Education Policy
Best of luck!

I think it depends on the kid and the teacher. My DS6 (DYS) has a second grade teacher who is very big on creative writing (e.g., making illustrated books, keeping a journal, etc.) -- Unlike other subjects, there is no limit on the challenge-level of creative writing - kids can stretch themselves as far as they want to go as long as the teacher encourages it. *I* would probably benefit from being in that class for the writing part Now with reading, the material is way under his level, but he's still learning the content (e.g., the reading materials are now discussing different world cultures). OTOH, he is woefully underchallenged in math (working on that...). So even with only 1 grade skip, he really only needs more math challenge to be engaged in his learning. If he could be pulled out for online learning or tutoring, I'd be pretty happy with how the year is going...