Can I ask if you and your DH reward your DS for academic accomplishments? We have been pondering that question with our own DS8 and would love advice?
Last night at dinner I served his favorite meal. DH and I both tried to verbally tell him how proud and happy we are for him, but we do try to treat it as if it's something he is doing for himself, and do tell the truth, untill those high B+'s grow up and become baby As, it's really really hard for me to celebrate them. ((Shrug)) I do get frustrated that he has so much smarts and such limited stamina, but I've come a long way.
DS12 always wants to get paid for his grades, and I wouldn't be so against it, but am not in favor of it enough that I'm willing to 'talk' to DH about it. DS12's overexcitabilities are such that he always intensly wants everything he can imagine that we might possibly do for him, so I try to encourage the good wants and find that balance of saying 'no' that doesn't come as naturally to the only-child families.
But to DS, talk is cheap, and he knows that he can't brag to his peer about it. If he got paid for his grades, not only could he buy the cool thing - he could make the other boys green at the same time. Ruff says that Gifties have a bragging deficit from spending so much time in poor fit classrooms. I post here. DS12 tries to fill it other ways. It amazes me how competetive boys can be.
He knows we love him. He did the math to figure out how much private school was costing him daily, and that did impress him. Sometimes I think we went overboard on the 'unconditional love' thing (Humor Alert) - but I would like to see more As!
So Ebeth,
I'll state that I'm not for or against material rewards, it really depends on the family. We sure did use them in 1st and 2nd grade when he had behavior charts. But a 9$ Bionicle just doesn't thrill him nowadays.
Smiles,
Grinity
