Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Were you a "smart kid?"

Someone on another topic referred to herself as a "smart kid." She knew her kids would be smart because she and her husband were smart kids...

So, were you a "smart kid?"

What was that like?

How has your experience influenced your parenting style and practices?

i was an art prodigy............... copied a michaelanglio drawing when i was 2 that totally freaked my parents out. to the point that they hid it and told everyone in my family not to talk about it...... like i was a leaper...lol

my husband was hyperactive.... the frogs in his neighborhood feared him

I graduated with a 1.8 adverage from high school, he had a 1.78

YEAH!
we were both listed as, "not living up to our potiential"

this is the part i added, cause I didn't read carefully, guess i wasn't living up again

our son is told he is special and bright and we work to make the situation he is in fit him instead of the other way round.

Oh boy, how long have you got? Here's the brief version.

Yes, I was a smart kid. It was - complicated. I was a school success, but (by inclination perhaps, and by school forcing certainly) in the perfectionist mode. I remember literally being told that since I was bored in the maths lesson I should occupy myself learning to write neater integral signs. That kind of thing. And these were good schools - but I was on track to get top marks and into a top university, and apparently nobody thought that that might not be enough. At home I was miserable, mostly. My father, typically for the time, was hardly involved, and my mother - well, she loved me, I expect, and is fundamentally a good person, but she had no empathy with me. I came out successful, but emotionally damaged. A key observation is that my intellect has never been what's limited my achievement - when I fail to achieve what I want to, it's anxiety or fear that stops me (even now, after lots of work). Similar remarks apply to my DH.

The effect on our parenting: we aspire to be attachment parents (Sears) and unconditional parents (Kohn). Those buzzwords are compatible, and share a core of respect for the child's feelings, whatever they may be, and trusting that everyone has aligned interests in the long run so that there isn't any need to coerce, either by praise or blame.

I could go on, but that's long enough :-)

I didn't fit in. And it seemed to me that my mom was always trying to "fix" me because she saw that I was unhappy. Instead of trying to make my kids fit into some mold, I am trying to find a place that fits them. I am striving to see them for who they are not who I or anyone else wants them to be.

My husband was tested and is MG as far as his mom remembers. He moved constantly from one school to another due to a bad family situation so he is still the class clown. He tends to down play his intelligence, especially anything mechanical, because he reads slower and his biological father always called him stupid. He, to this day underestimates his ability to learn and retain and doesn't consider himself smart. I could easily do great bodily harm to his biological father if I ever met him.

I have no idea if I was tested. I went to a private accelerated school that tried to meet my needs. Things went down hill when I was transfered to a public school for jr high and high school. I know I was bored to death and had many run ins with teachers trying to get me to pay attention to them, all until I pointed out to the science teacher in an ever so innocent way that I couldn't answer his problem because it was formulated wrong. Sadly the chemistry teacher confirmed this when the science teacher tried to put me in my place in front of the entire class. They left me alone after that to argue Hawkings with a few other students who understood, but I only had a few friends. I worked full time and went to nursing school full time and graduated magnum cume laude, and first in my class, without having to study. (I'm sure everyone hated that.)

I've always just figured I can read fast, learn easily, and retain well. My parents were disappointed that I decided not to pursue a higher degree and instead put my husband through college and after working for seven years in a field I love, now raise our five children. Your classic underachiever. LOL

My biggest memory is always hating school, and being bored out of my mind, with very few friends who understood me. Maybe I was Aspergers like my oldest daugher? Who knows? My focus now is allowing my children to follow their own paths. After four years of trying to work with the school system we pulled them this year at their request. Yes, each was given the choice, even at five. We are trying to allow them to pursue their interests and nurture their needs rather than make them conform. I am working very hard to try to understand my oldest daughter, who still baffles me. Beyond that I am trying to let them have fun with learning and hopefully pick up some of their fathers fun loving personality. I'm to serious. Truth.

I'm sure we could all go on, but I definately didn't assume my children would be smart. They amaze me every day.

Yes, smart, annoying, misfit, whatever non-pc term you can think of, that was me. I dont recall feeling annoying, but I do recall friends in school calling me a walking encyclopedia, and upon reflection I imagine it was not entirely complimentary...
I remember in elementary getting out a huge book on Marie Curie and the teacher grilling me on whether I really really thought I could finish it and write a report on it..might have been 4th grade.
School was seldom hard - Maybe french, but just a bit.
Math mainly because I was told I didnt know numbers, but turns out I actually kill at logic and pattern recognition, etc.

I certainly hoped and imagined my children would be smart, but I barely know how to handle them despite feeling sure they would be clever - maybe I thought it would make things easier LOL! I at least want to help them feel that all doors are open to them *with hard work*. Trying to avoid the pigeon-holing and lack of growth which can come with labels. DS is steadfastly defying all labeling, so that helps

I didn't have friends until I was in 8th grade. I truly felt like an alien, especially in grade school. Some teachers seemed to like me, but others didn't want anything to do with me. I was very quiet and sensitive. I spent most recesses in the library or hiding behind the school. I was tested in grade school--I don't know what test it was, but according to my mom, my IQ was over 150. The school called her into the office and told her how unusual that was and that I was extremely bright. They offered nothing though, in terms of accelerating me, because of my social difficulties. My parents wanted to do the right thing for me, so they took the advice of the school experts. Maybe it was the best option they had. I have wondered if I had(have?) AS, or if I simply couldn't relate to other kids.

My early years in school were very painful for me, and I would like to spare my kids from that. Fortunately, they seem far more adept at navigating social situations than I was at that age. I was literally afraid of other kids because they seemed completely unpredictable to me. I remember dreading my birthday because my mom would always ask me which "friends" I would invite to my party. The last thing I wanted was a party

I was "smart" but also blissfully ignorant of a lot of things!! LOL And either I was really really lucky or my parents did a lot more manipulating behind the scenes than they've ever owned up to... but basically I didn't suffer. I know my sister got beat up once (whether that was for being smart or something else I have no idea... blissful ignorance strikes again -- I don't even remember the incident!) but mostly kids were nice, I always had friends.

I do have some strong opinions about how "smart kids" should be treated, but not because I was a victim of anything -- more because there were situations that were kind of set up to be uncomfortable... like tutoring other kids in my class. I really didn't get why they didn't understand things as easily as I did, and while I don't remember doing anything particularly obnoxious, I'm sure I really wasn't a sympathetic or helpful teacher for them. And I know that while my parents and most of my teachers were very supportive and enthusiastic about taking risks and letting me fall on my face without criticism, other kids weren't. So I think some of my perfectionism (the little tiny bit that isn't just native "me" LOL) could be credited to still remembering the classmates who thought I wasn't "all that".

And I do think I coasted too much (although at the time it didn't strike me as a negative... LOL) -- I don't remember ever actually finishing an assigned book between about 4th grade and sometime in college, although I always did fine on the reports and papers (having figured out how to write what they wanted with partial information...), and by the end of high school I was willing to put forth only just enough effort to squeak by. Which is part of why I ended up getting my college degree in an area that isn't really my strong suit. I was fine at it, but if I had been willing to work I could have done so much more in another field!

So... pros and cons, but nothing tragic. I don't know if I was ever tested... sometimes I'm curious, but I think if I knew the number I'd doubt it, no matter what it was!

LOL! are we like twins or somethin'?

except for the 150 iq part.....................depending on the school year, and the brand of iq test they gave me.

they would tell my parents one year that i was a genus, the next the SAME administator would tell them that they were very sorry but................ "she's mentally retarded." {instert dramatic pause and hand touch}
At one point they said I had autism and should be instatutionilized, for my own good (With a side order of sterization! yeh!) This is why I have little faith in the educational system and in iq tests in general.

In my way of thinking, (I had to invent my own because I just didn't seem to understand anyone elses) There are those who are conformers by nature, those who conform because they can, and then the rest who are out in left field picking dandelions and noticing the beautiful strangeness of the universe.

School was always easy for me, especially tests. I was pretty much bored in the grade school years, but I was a teacher pleaser so i did well. I never studied. I remember reading ahead and finishing my homework assignments in class when the teacher was explaining them. I was the youngest in my class, and proud to be still smarter than everyone, but I kept that to myself. I didn't always feel smart. Sometimes, I didn't raise my hand because I saw that no one was raising his hand, so I figured my answer must be wrong if no one knows the answer. Other times, when kids were confused about something that I thought was really easy, I would think I must be missing something (this happened all the way through law school). My mom recently told me that the 1-8 school I attended told her they had only one other student who scored similar to me on the standardized tests (mostly 99%), and there were only a few in the state. I never remember discussing that I was smart; I just figured I was a good test taker.

I got along with everyone, but only had a couple good friends in 1-8, and no good friends in high school. I met a soulmate friend through work when i was a junior in high school. I hated high school. I participated in the state's first post-secondary enrollment option by going to all my senior year classes at the local university instead of high school. My classic underachiever lazy self appeared and I didn't take the SAT when I found I was already enrolled at the local university and they didn't need an SAT score. So I didn't apply to any colleges (I was already in!). I did ok in college - always great grades in the higher level classes and decent but not great grades in the intro classes.

My boredom led me to want DS to go to school early. DH however, who was also youngest in his class but did not like it because of sports, wanted DS to stay with age-mates. We agreed to get DS tested to see of he qualified for early entrance, and go with the tester's suggestion on if he should. (She said let him play.) We will probably have some clashes because our school experiences were different, but I will definitely try to make it so DS isn't bored into becoming an underachiever like me.