Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Counselor or psychiatrist?

Does anyone use a counselor or psychiatrist for their gifted children?

What issues prompted this and has it helped?

We are mainly looking for some professional help to deal with anger issues before they get out of control. Wasn't sure if this is the best route to take.

I'm interested in this as well. We've got the same issue for which we're looking for professional help. Well, that and minding, and doing his work, and getting dressed, .. . .

FWIW, DD6 saw a child psychologist twice a month last year. BUT, He is a gifted child expert and I don't think I would have taken her to anyone otherwise.
Second, she experienced what I would call a severe negative effect from a poor teacher/academic placement last year.
Interestingly, when summer rolled around, she returned to her very happy charming self and so far, so good this year.

I think you have to look at all the facts and variables and you'll know in your gut if you are in over your head with what's going on with child. I would say if you are feeling that way, find someone to help your child.........which will ultimately help the whole family.

I guess I'm biased but I really really really think it's a good idea to find a Dr. who has a good understanding of the way these kids think. I really think it's so so important for some HG and up kids and my DD was one of those HG kids that really needed someone that understood the way she thought.

In hindsight, I wish I would have just pulled her out of school, now we know the issue was situational...
But you know what they say about hindsight.
And I hope I haven't offended any health care professional that doesn't feel that you need HG experience to work with these kids.......I'm sure there is merit to that as well.
As mom's I say trust your gut and respect the child. Hopefully that will help you figure out when to find a professional to help.

We have not sought professional help for our son in this regard, but have used the advice of professionals for ourselves in learning how to deal with different issues. Both times we had our son tested we asked for help with how to manage issues such as anxiety, strong-will and control issues and anger related to perfectionism and competitiveness. The advice we received both times was very helpful and gave us new directions for dealing with our son.

Our son saw the school social worker on a very casual basis to address some anxiety issues that had surfaced there. I think his involvement with her was both positive and helpful. Nothing too extended or deep but just enough special one-on-one attention from a different perspective to help him think about some things.

I would seek help again should we be in a position to do so. I would encourage you to find a professional who is knowledgeable about needs of GT kids and who practices from a family dynamic perspective. I think your involvement as a parent is very important and the child should not be treated as the patient in isolation. The whole family should be involved if appropriate, IMHO.

I agree with Neato, trust your gut. If you feel that you need help or your child does go for it and find someone who can support and empower you through the rough times.

Debbie,
These are our issues as well. Is there a factory where they stamp these kids out? Or is it just predictable that poor fit school situations plus high IQ plus asynchronous development equals these particular issues?

And I thought it was all due to my inadaquate parenting ((Joking))

((shrugs)) and more ((shrugs))
Grinity

Crisc,
I just sent you a PM.
Jool

After having some issues last year with bullying and difficulty with finding friends, we sought a psychologist who specializes in gifted kids. She worked with DS8 once a week for maybe nine or ten weeks this summer. She talked to DS about why people tease and bully others and how to make new friends. I don't know if something just clicked with him this year, if the additional subject acceleration is making him happier, or if all the money that we spent had a return on investment. (It was not covered by insurance! Ouch!) But he is a much, much happier child these days, and that is worth every penny of it!

I would highly recommend going to someone who specializes in gifted kids. The psychologist really understood him: all of the asynchronous development issues, social issues due to grade acceleration, and the problems of finding a like-minded friend. She helped him see that the bullying was about the other kids' problems and not a reflection on him. She worked through ways of dealing with bullying and also worked on different levels of friendship (acquaintances, playmates, and best friends) and how you go about generating those friendships.

We are currently generating a lot of new friendships and the bullying is greatly reduced. Last week and older kid came up during lunch and told DS that the only reason that he was special was because no one liked him! But DS just shrugged it off and thought that it was a pretty pointless comment.

Happy to report - we are handling everythig just fine at the dinner table

Crisc,
I also wanted to mention a totally different approach. I've tried to find adult mentors for my DS to actually know and grow with. If it ever comes to that, I'd rather pay for a tutor/mentor where my son could learn life skills 'on the side'as he's getting the thrill of delving deeper into a subject he loves. Afterall, his issues go with him wherever he goes...

I don't know exactly what's on your plate, and these kids do seem very intense, a lot of the time, but that's an idea that may be useful.

www.handinhandparenting.org/

and

www.rc.org/

have been amazingly useful for me for the last 27 years - well before DS came on the scene.


It seems that the 'normal' level of anger for boys and men is something we females have been socialized to feel that we 'can't handle.'

Love and More Love,
Grinity

This is great to hear! I must note also that we found changes in MrWiggly's school program have pretty much resolved all the school issues that were present when he was needing to talk to the social worker. He actually looks forward to and doesn't want to miss school this year! So, sometimes the anger and other issues can be resolved by "fixing" the source of the problem rather than "fixing" the kid!

Not to say that some issues don't warrant professional help. In fact, we didn't make those changes to the extent necessary until after getting professional help in the form of testing and consultation for educational needs. Just mentioning that sometimes the issue needs to be addressed in the environmental context versus the personal context.