Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy new and overwhelmed-lots of labels?

I posted this in a thread that I realize is much older, so I'd like to throw this out there in hopes of getting some experienced advice. I just learned of this board from a Gifted Resource Teacher who suggested I read some posts after I sobbed in her office one day. I've read much I recognize already. I'm struggling with daycare/preschool options for a 2.5 year old. He appears gifted in many ways, but his development is quite uneven. Each time he has a cognitive leap, we see a series of emotional storms. This has led to teachers throwing out labels such as ODD and concerns about his emotional growth. I'm wondering if other parents have experienced the same? Right now I am emotionally drained from advocating for and defending his needs for independence and creativity. He loves stories and loves to pick out letters and sounds but hates to participate in "circle time." He screams if he's asked to transition to another activity if he hasn't finished what he's engrossed in doing. Above all, though, he's a sweet and caring boy who thrives in the right environment. I'd love to have some support on how to find the best fit for him and how to stay joyous about his creative gifts. \:\)

OK - #1 - can you pull him out of preschool to "homepreschool" him? It is totally normal for a 2.5 year old who is in a poor fit environment to be under way more stress than any human should be asked to handle.

#2 - Did you notice that after having a good cry, in the presence of a friendly person, you were more organized in your behavior? Same with your child's tantrums. See more at this website:
http://www.handinhandparenting.org/about-us.html
The audio CDs of Playlistening are particularly effective.

#3 - have your read these books?
Losing Our Minds: Gifted Children Left Behind by Deborah L. Ruf (Paperback - Jul 31, 2005)
and
You Know Your Child Is Gifted When...: A Beginner's Guide to Life on the Bright Side (Paperback)
by Judy Galbraith (Author), Pamela Espeland (Editor),

There is a key book on clearing up the confusion between giftedness and other problems. I don't reccomend that your read it yet, unless you are already up nights worring. But if you are up nights worrying, then you need a living, breathing person to evaluate your child and get you on the right path. (Ruf does phone evals) But just for completeness sake, here it is:

Misdiagnosis And Dual Diagnoses Of Gifted Children And Adults: Adhd, Bipolar, Ocd, Asperger's, Depression, And Other Disorders by James T. Webb, Edward R. Amend, Nadia E. Webb, and Edward R. Amend

Let me know which ones you have read and what you think.
Love and More Love ('cause you are going to need it)
Trinity