Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional WHen to speak up or let child work things out

I am really new to all this so pardon my ignorance. My dd8 is in 3rd grade and in a GT pull out program for 4 hours a week. I don't even know what her "level of GT is". She has taken the CogAt and scored at the 99%tile. In her regular classroom, she is the only GT qualifed student since the other student in her class that was GT moved out of the district. She is really upset for several reasons. She has no one in the class that can challenge her - she enjoys friendly academic competion. Additionally, because she thinks differently, she acts differently on the playground. She seems to feel like the odd man out.

Should I wait and see if she can work this out for herself or should I go talk to her classroom and/or GT teacher?

Thank you in advance for your insights.

Mamabear

In mulling over your response, I am leaning toward waiting a week or two before intervening. Thinking about how school and her social life has been, this is the first big (unexpected) shock to her world that she didn't see anything positive about.

I do not know how the other students feel about her, but in conversations with her teacher, she will say without provocation that she would love an entire classroom full of dd.

At home, she is very much supported and loved and has friends in the neighborhood. So this is not really a global issue, just at school and only in response to the absence of other GT kids in her class.

I'll talk to her again after school today and see if she is feeling any better about things.

Thank you for the questions, the answers put a better prespective on what is really happening, I hope.

I think that if she has already told you she is upset or indicated that by her behavior then you should step in. You aren't referring to a specific conflict that a child might be able to "work out" with some guidance from the parent. You seem to be identifying some pervasive issues such as being the only GT kid in the class, not being challenged and feeling as though she doesn't fit in with the other kids. Those seem to be bigger issues that a parent should address with the teachers and staff at the school.

I suggest contacting the GT coordinator and her classroom teacher. Find out what they see, if anything. Then talk with your daughter about what she likes and doesn't like at school. Look for options to help her connect with others that are like-minded. Are there options for enrichment classes at a CTD or like place? Can the teachers differentiate learning experiences more for her? I agree with the questions posed by MON - you need to explore more as to what is going on and then you'll know better how to proceed.

Keep us posted.

oops, we cross posted. I think you have a good plan in place to wait a little longer. Sounds like perhaps it isn't as global an issue as I thought at first reading.

I have learned to follow my "mommy instincts" - you know your child best. Trust them to tell you what to do next!

Just an update:

My dd talked to her classroom teacher! She said that they have cme up with a plan. She was reassured that she would challenged and she would be given accelerated programs independently of the other students when things the class were doing were too easy.

As far as the playground, DD is very sensitive and misread the kid's reactions to her. Essentially, she was upset about her friend leaving and so was assuming that no one else could possbly like her. She was just overwhelmed by emotion. Yesterday, a child approached her and wanted to play. That was all it took!

I was very proud of her for seeking help from the teacher on her own! A huge step for her and she felt positive about the outcome! I'm glad I let her try to work things out!

Again, thank you for your thoughtful responses.

Wonderful! Please remind me how old she is? So glad it worked out.

DD is almost 9!