Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Met with the teacher. Now what? *long*

Just in case nobody remembers our situation. I have a bright 6 year old ds in first grade that seems to be a poor fit. I emailed the teacher last week and arranged a meeting to get her professional opinion on his academic proficiency.

The teacher is nice. She looked just as nervous as I was and seemed unsure of why I asked to meet with her. I was hoping that she would have prepared to meet with me by looking in ds's file and/or doing a informal evaluation on him. I don't think she did. I took the advice from JBDad's thread. I asked how she was and how things were working out with ds in her class. I tried to let her do the talking. When all she would share with me was that he was well mannered and a hard worker, I explained that I asked for the meeting because dh and I were concerned that the work was too easy for our son. She opened up a little after that.

She showed me the reading teacher's manual and tried to tell me things would get harder after the third block. Because that is where the class start's to learn the sounds of a. Ds reads chapter books. After asking about what else they learn, I found out it is everything he already knows and can do with the exception of capital letters and punctuation (which is a week lesson at most for ds). Since ds is already reading,I asked if I should exchange the small books coming home with chapter books? She said that in a couple weeks she will start up the AR and see if 1.5 is a good fit for him. I decided to let it drop and let her see for herself. The only thing I made sure to point out was that he want's to please her and might do easier work then he is capable of becuase of it. I asked her to take that into consideration because we want him to make mistakes and try because things come easily to him. He just came into this world knowing stuff.

Then I asked about math. She said he really enjoys math. I agreed and asked about his work and what they will be learning. Again all things he has been doing since preschool and Kindergarten.

I asked how he was getting along in class, his peers and was he engaging in lessons. *side note* We kept him in K to help his confidence and social skills. She says he has a group of friends he plays with on the playground and he is opening up in class. She came back yesterday from a Doctor's appointment and she was pleased to see he had already finshed the math work the sub gave him and he was up helping other student's work on the worksheet. The sub said he did it on his own initiative.

She said she wouldn't be suprised if she is running over to the second grade by November asking them advice and getting harder work for him. But in reality she won't actually do that because she goes on maternity leave for 12 weeks in December. I have no idea who the long term sub will be. I don't think the sub or his current first grade teacher will be able to differentiate or subject accelerate.

I feel better about keeping ds in Kindergarten now because he used to be afraid of adults and unsure if he should speak up for himself. He has always gotten along with his peers but now he has more self assurance. I was able to observe his 1st grade class after our meeting. He seems happy at the moment.

I don't know what to do. I can ask for a grade skip but I have no idea what the district's policy is. If I do ask for it, the second grade teacher I prefer teaches a combo 2nd/3rd grade class and I am not sure if I can request her. The other option would be to supplement at home *crossing my fingers* that 1st grade will be socially adequate even though it isn't academically. All the while hoping the second grade teacher I prefer doesn't retire and stays in a combo 2nd/3rd grade class next year for a better fit and seamless grade skip.

So if you were me what would you do?

((pat,pat))
I would certianly keep afterschooling. I would also ask for a grade skip, and see what they say - especially since the teacher will be missing a large part of the year.

I would also ask for the teacher you think would fit him best, even if she is teaching 2/3. Just spend some time in there observing before you ask. Sometimes the mixed age classes attract many weaker students.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

I'll be watching this thread with interest. My son is in K. Totally happy. I know K is 2yrs beneath where he is but I'm inclined to follow "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" and just continue to afterschool. Should he become dissatisfied, I will then go to the teacher.

On the other hand, you don't want them to learn that school isn't a place to learn new things. But if your son stands a good chance of getting a great teacher next year in a 2/3rd combo class AND he is happy now, I'd be inclined to let it go and continue ASing for now.

I had one kid who hated K, totally miserable, absolutely abhorred cutting, pasting, coloring - loves to draw his own stuff but not coloring sheets. I talked to the teacher to no avail. I'm still dealing w/ issues from that horrid year and he's in 3rd grade and being homeschooled. So for now, I'm enjoying my Ker being excited every morning to go to school and coming home happy rather than totally deflated.

Wow. This is a tough situation. We go through something similar every year as teachers have to get to know my son (why they can't talk to the previous teacher I don't know), but we have had good luck in working with teachers to differentiate the instruction after the "get to know you period." I am a former principal, and I have seldom seen a long-term sub that could adequately provide differentiated instruction.

You might consider setting up an appointment to meet with the principal (or in some schools the guidance counselor). Be prepared to express your concern that your child is not being served properly. Even if the school does not have a gifted program, ALL students deserve instruction at their level. Bring examples of books your child can read (you might even audio tape him/her reading). You could request that your child be placed in another class for all or part of the day.

This would also help to build a case for grade skip later in the year if needed.

Sadly, not all educators would agree with this statement. In my experience, too many feel that the teacher's job is to get all the kids in the class up to the minimum required by whatever criteria the school uses. If that means that some kids learn nothing all year, then they're just "lucky."



I'd beware of assuming that this is the philosophy of any given educator, whether principal or teacher. I WISH it were always true, but in my (limited) experience, it's just not necessarily the case. You can wind up in real values clash if you assume you all agree about this and it's not so.

Ugh. Tough call. I wish I had more advice for you but as you see we're trying to figure it out too!

One thing that has been working for us is that as we're trying to work through the system, we're also after schooling DS when time permits (finally, this week has started to allow that). We're also very open with DS and explaining that we're meeting with his teacher, trying to make sure that school is still fun and a place to learn, etc. Might not work for everyone, but DS seems to be relatively emotionally mature when he wants to be. So we let him know that he's doing a good thing by doing his work, that it will get more interesting, and that we are scheduled to talk to his teacher. We even went so far as to let him know that it might take a while. When at home, when we have teaching moments, we make the most use of them. Tonight was a very very good night for us, for example.

But I feel for you. DS is also reading chapter books and I don't think that's something they really get into until the end of the year... Initially we were like "whew, they let us enter first early" and a week later we're already ready to go back and ask for more...

JB (not on any soapbox tonight)

That is certainly true and I don't suggest that you get into a clash with administration. However, in my experience, too few parents speak up (or know they can speak up) when it comes to expressing concerns for their children because they think they will not get an open ear. Almost every set of national teaching standards that is out there has a statement about addressing the diverse needs of learners (usually regarding learning styles and/or ability). Reputable teacher education programs and administrator prep programs now include differentiated instruction as a significant part of curriculum. So opinion aside, I think it is safe to say responsible admistrators will be aware that the expectation is there that the school will at least attempt to meet needs of all kids. Will they agree? That is not a guarantee, but parents are certainly not out on a limb to ask for a plan to address special needs.

Bottom line...go to the principal. Be prepared. Have suggestions ready and be willing to keep an open mind to alternatives. If you get a "no" you are not any further away from a solution than you are now.