Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy end of summer blues

As mentioned several times, DD is taking the SBV for kindergarten placement this fall. Last year we had a few new beginnings, new ballet school (closer to home) new preschool, starting gymnastics. And by early October she was reactive.

This year, same preschool, same ballet school, new group piano but same place as music class. But we have been at the beach since 6/20 except for short trip to Canada. And she is getting teary, whiny about leaving her friends and the beach.

I am planning to take the SBV end of October to give her time to acclimate to the city and routine. Any other advice?

Note: She loves her school and head teacher and her BFF is there. Plus she has her birthday party end of September at the place she choose with 12 of her friends.

Ren

Well, I'd be teary and whiny too if I had to leave the beach after being there 6 weeks and I'm 10 times her age!

Grieving endings is a normal part of life. Support her in her grief as this is actually practice for other bigger losses we all experience as we get older. You can also help her build a bridge to her life back in the city. Are there things from the beach that she will still have back home? What is there to look forward to? etc.

Ren,

I would wait to take the SBV as you have planned to give your DD time to get into a new routine. I would also plan on a time that she is alert and not fatigued. For us, 9am seemed best after a good night's rest and breakfast.

I would also suggest giving her something to look forward to in the city. I think you go to concerts and museums based on previous posts and I would let her pick her favorite place to go once you get back into your routine. While leaving the beach and friends may make her sad, emphasizing the great things the city offers may make the transition a little easier.

DD9 spent a month with my parents in Europe and nothing could make the transition home easy. Heck, I'd love to be pampered and taken to lots of fun places. But once she went back to school and hobbies started, she is excited about the new things she is learning and experiencing.

Jen

That makes sense to me. I love my job, but I am starting back to school tomorrow and I am a little sad about it. Anyhow, I know with DS he gets sad when we leave vacation and things like that. He does well with calendars of events we have going on. We always have something fun going on every month. And because he knows how calendars work, he doesn't always ask if we are going yet or doing something yet because he can just look at the calendar. He makes his own calendar every month. Today he made one and marked going to preschool, going on a picnic next weekend, going apple picking in 3 weeks, etc. It seems to work good for him. But after Christmas he will probably already start talking about going to the lake next summer...and he remembers dates so this year he kept talking about the specific date from the year before. He thought we were going on the same exact day I guess. Anyhow, I am sure she will get back into the swing of things soon enough. Also, I think It's good that you are waiting 'til October for the SBV to give her time to adjust again.

thanks for all the suggestions. We got back Tuesday afternoon and decided to head to the Aquarium yesterday, it was 90 and gave her a little adventure. The Aquarium was a good idea as a distraction because she is really reacting to leaving the summer friends.

It was 2.5 months we were at the beach and she had not returned to NYC at all. Preschool starts this Monday so I am hoping she gets back into routine and I think giving her until end of October for SBV is the plan.

BTW, someone mentioned that you can do the SBV up until 4 years, 2 months and 29 days and the child is still evaluated as a 4 year old.

Ren

Thanks Dottie. The tester I think I am going to use has tested kids for Davidson and should be really good on all the subtest scores.

Ren