Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Sleepless in...(You fill in the blank)

Lately our nearly 12 year old exceptionally gifted son has had trouble sleeping.

I looked up sleeping "issues" for kids his age and am not getting much help.

He complains that he can't stop thinking. He recently told me it's like he has a gremlin in his mind!

Some background...

Since he's been a baby, we've had classical music playing for him at night. We thought he would outgrow this, but when he is sleepless, he wants the music even louder to almost "drown out" his thoughts.

Also, he wants the lights on. He says that he wants to know what's in the dark. I tell him there's nothing in the dark that's not in the light, but he persists in wanting the lights on.

I told him that his brain can see those lights and maybe is making falling asleep harder. So I bought him a sleep mask and told him to put it on so that even though we will keep his room light on, his eyes are covered. He was told if he wakes, and gets scared, he can lift the eye mask and see the room.

He hates the mask. Did I mention he is hyper sensitive to smell? I washed it and yet he still complains it smells "bad". It's new from a big box linen store.

Things have gotten really bad lately. He didn't sleep for two days/night and we resorted to giving him a quarter part of a Unisom in warm milk to get him over the "hump" of thinking he "can't" fall asleep on his own.

So, last night was the first night we put a pill in his milk. He slept well. But came down with a virus and has a fever today.

Has anyone experience in this age with sleeplessness?

As an aside: At this age I was a sleepwalker. Is this a similar situation?

"Racing" thoughts- the inability to stop your thoughts no matter how hard you try is a sign of anxiety. As is the sensitivity to not being able to calm down in the dark.

Your right about the light...it will make him sleep lighter than in complete darkness but since he anxious about I would see if he would accept just a nightlight.

Children are more likely to develop anxiety or depression between 11-16 then any other times in their lives. I would take him to a doctor to be evaluated for both (depression may look agaitated rather than sad).

In the meantime you might want to give him a pill of Benadryl to get him over the hump of getting to sleep.

It's obvious to me that I've been blacklisted.

Usually if an inquiry goes unanswered, a person might post "bump" to push the inquiry to the top of the queue where it may attract attention, and/or post a follow-up question which may help get a conversation started.

There is no guarantee that persons reading the forum in any given two-week period would have experience/expertise in the exact circumstances for which you are seeking assistance. The lack of a reply to your inquiry does not indicate anything negative about forum members.

Have you checked old forum threads about sleep?
Have you read the list of sleep resources on the Unisom website?
Have you talked with your child's pediatrician and/or psychologist/specialist/counselor/professional?
Is Unisom safe to give to a 12-year-old? Does the packaging contain any warning and/or dosage information regarding children?
Have you researched sleepwalking?

Swimming, weekly. If they have not learnt already take lessons. Buy an acoustic guitar.

My information processing is 5.7 times above average, there is no cure.

Our DD13 has struggled for years with the same situation. She just cannot "turn off" her brain. We used melatonin for a couple of years. It worked very well, but there is concern about its long term use. We tried white noise, exercise, snuggling, you name it. Her current doctor recommended lots of cardio during the day and boring activities right before bed. As DD13 is now a high schooler who isn't keen about following doctor's advice (sigh), I don't know if that is working. I give melatonin only the night before high stakes testing (PSAT, Finals, etc)

I used to be like your son - I got really good at recognizing the constellations of the Northern Sky looking south from laying awake at night as a kid LOL

I also use to hallucinate from sleeplessness - believe it or not.

What I did was I resigned myself to accepting that even if I do not sleep at least by laying down I will be rested (somewhat) in the morning. This happened in my late teens. The reduction in what I would describe as 'meta anxiety' (basically anxiety about having non stop thoughts) eventually allowed me to relax and fall asleep. It was not an overnight transition but I eventually made it. I can now sleep about 6 hours a night and feel good the next day.

Also meditation is useful but again it doesn't happen overnight. Have him read the Relaxation Response. The main obstacle that needed to be overcome for me was again, accepting that one's mind will wander and thoughts will crop up in your head, just learn to gently push/coax them back out. At first these thoughts would destroy my ability to empty my mind because I would get upset by their being present in my mind. Again just accept that it happens and relax again...

YMMV

Our DD has had good results with meditation, though more for general anxiety, calming thoughts, than for sleep issues. She was very resistant at first, but looking at results of research about meditation helped, as did finding an app (not to advertise, but she found headspace to be tolerable) that she could use and relate to. But you have to buy into it and practice daily to really benefit, imho.

Does he sleep if someone is in the room with him? My son hates sleeping alone. He says it is unnatural for a defenseless young social mammal to sleep away from its herd in the dark and that asking him to do so violates his instincts.

He sleeps much better with his brother and/or the dog.

I love your son's argument! And he's also backed up by the co-sleeping practices of most humans on the planet throughout history. The expectation of separate sleeping quarters for juvenile humans is pretty much an artificial practice specific to members of industrialized first-world cultures with the luxury of more space than people (and not even all of those do it).