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Trinity,
I Apologize for being so tardy in my response.

DS is in a very small montessori program with about 5 elementary aged students and about 20 preschoolers. He is one of the oldest in the school. This is why he lacks contact with his age peers.

Second, his interests are very broad. We are currently encouraging his desire to learn Chemistry and marine biology with books and some help from a local college Professor. He has an amazing fantasy life full of raptors and dragons that interact with him and each other in a very detailed and involved way. He is currently dictating to me their stories and I'm typing them in to the computer.

Third, I read everything I can find. Hoagies has been a primary source of information as well as SENG. I've read just about everything I can find on the web or in the bookstore.

I'll try to give more details another time.

Hi Elh0706,

No need to appologise. Raising these kids is tiring.

Montessori - how far above grade level do they have him in his strength areas? Some Montessoris are terrific about letting the kid really go far in his strength area - some are not. Can they help him integrate his interests into his school work?

Does your son get to be with peer for afterschool activites?

Have you applied to Davidson's Young Scholar Program. I think you would like it.

Has he seen the Dinotopia Books? They are so beautiful!

Best Wishes,
Trinity

Trinity,
If DS was willing to show the school what he does at home in his schoolwork, they would advance him as far as need be up to college level work. However, Ds does one thing at home and another at school so he is currently only advanced about 6-12 months in curiculm. The school's policy is that DS can be advanced as quickly as he wishes as long as he accurately completes all of the work in each section. DS is not willing to do "more" work a day to get through the books faster even though he understands that he will like the later work better.
Because of our work schedules, Ds is at his school for before and after care from 7:30 Am to 5:00 PM. Several nights a week, we go to the gym after picking him up. They have a wonderful kid's court area with lots of different activities including ball pits, jungle gym mazes and lots of open floor with baasketball hoops and wiggle cars. There are usally several children within in a couple yeras of him there at the same time. Since the membership is always changing , he doesn't get to make close friends but always has fun playing with whoever is there.
I want to apply to the Davidson Institute, but will have to get DS retested. I'm in the process of trying to find a good evaluation center with experience in testing gifted underachievors. DS does not like anyone to know how "smart" he is. He also gets bored quickly with the testing process and starts trying to come up with inventive answers. Previously, when he was tested, we were told that his scores were at least 20 lower than they should be because of his test taking attitude.

Ah well, Now they want to put him on Drugs for ADHD...

Hi, I'm new and looking forward to posting here. I just registered this morning. I found this forum while looking up info for gifted kids on the internet.

My issues are just getting started. I have a very bright 9 yo. She has not been officially identified as gifted. Both my husband and I are very smart and she always just seemed normal to us. Her school achievement tests from 2nd grade were both very high 99% (math on ISAT (Illinois) verbal on OLSAT) and then oddly lower 70% (math on OLSAT, verbal on ISAT).

She was never identified to even be tested for her schools gifted program. She did test into accelerated math, though. When the kids tested this year for the gifted program, she came home in tears saying "All of my friends have tested and I know I'm just as smart, why can't I?" I called her teacher and she said that when the ISAT scores come out from my daughter's 3rd grade testing (Illinois was very late!), they would make a determination. Well, the test scores were all 99th percentile. She just tested for the gifted program yesterday and now we're waiting.

So now I kind of feel like I failed her. Reading all of the information on gifted kids makes me realize she must be gifted. I missed so much. She had almost all of the toddler milestones. She can't stand to wear anything even slightly uncomfortable, all tags must be cut out. She reads voraciously, collects and catagorizes everything. Any unfairness with friends or worldwide is a cause for tears and activism.

I'm currently looking for resources, summer programs, etc. I'm considering having her do out of level testing next year.

I'm so pleased this forum is here. Thanks.

Hi TJS -

Welcome to the world of Gifted. You are giving me a perfect excuse to write about what I was hoping to write about anyway. I'm at work, and about 10 minutes ago a little girl and her mom completed their visit. Once they left, all the staff said - "Wow - she's only four, she's so smart!"

The girl had been counting to 100, chatting with everyone, and learning like a sponge. Her mom was doing the "gifted denial suffle" saying things like - "she's such a chatter box" and "she loves to show off in front of people."

LOL - we've all been there haven't we? We know that there is something unusual about the way people respond to our kid, so we make comments to try to smooth the way.

I was ready to dive right in.
"When does she start Kindergarden?"
- in the Fall. She wearing me out with questions.
"Is she reading yet?"
- no, praised be.
"Good, that will give her something to do in school. If she reading chapterbooks by the end of Kindergarden, come back and let me know - I've been through it with my son. he was lucky too, and wasn't reading until the end of first grade, but the mind is still moving at that speed and reaching for everything."
- ok. ((face shows Mom realizes that this could easily happen))
"One of the main advices I wish I had gotten when my son was this age, was to praise Effort and Curiosity, not the gap between what she is, and the age-based expectations. The gap is just how she is, Effort and Curiosity are choices that need to be encouraged. Too much attention for 'how you are' gets hard on kids."
- You know I never thought of it that way. Thanks for telling me. If I had know, I would have done that sooner. That make sense.
"You and me both! This kind of thing happens with very little warning. The baby just arrives and you've become "Alice in Wonderland. But I'll be seeing you over the years, just let me know what's on your mind."

Now I'll bet you are wishing someone had had "the talk" when your dd was 4 - but to my shame, I must admit, that my best and most trusted friend told me what was going on when my ds was in first grade, and even though he was suffering greatly and openly by second grade, I didn't believe her, or follow up. Well I did "hint around" to the teachers, who assured me that "underchallenge" was most definitly NOT his problem.

Why did I trust the teachers over my oldest and wisest friend?

Denial.

Why will I continue to beat myself up about it forever?

Perfectionism. (Actually I've come a lonnnnng way on this one.)

So I say, welcome to the club! As you learn more, try to forgive yourself, if only to model for your daughter how to overcome perfectionism.

Now lets turn our attention to the future - What's on your mind so far? Have you though about private testing? Have you though about summer camp? What's your favorite Gifted Book?

Love and More Love,
Trinity

Thanks so much, Trinity! I have been in denial and you're right, I do need to move on.

I am considering private testing, although from what I've read we're past the ideal age. I'm sort of waiting to see what the school does. Do you think that's a mistake?

For summer, I have her doing a week at the local animal shelter (she loves animals), a science camp at Illinois Math and Science Academy (IMSA) and various girl scout camps (several at Fermi lab.) I looked into some of the CTD stuff at Northwestern, but I think we're going to hold off this year. We live in the western suburbs of Chicago, so there is much available.

She did the IMSA camp last year and it was the only camp she ever LOVED. She walked out of there the first day asking how she could go to school there. Of course, being in denial, I just skirted the issue afraid of giving her false hope. Ugggh!

No books yet. Do you have any suggestions?

Suggestions ----
First go to Hoagiesgifted.org, and then go to amazon.com through there.
Then look for Carolyn K's lists:
Hoagies' Gifted List for Parents or
Hoagies' List for Parents of Exceptionally Gifted Children

see what interests you....
or try the article section of the Davidson Gifted Database: http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/browse_by_topic_articles.aspx

It all depends on what's uppermost in your mind at the time.

BTW - sounds like your summercamp plans are excellent. I also like the talent search idea. At this stage in the game it seems to me that the main questions I would be focusing on are -
1) How unusually gifted is my child - is it reasonable to expect that the school proram will meet her needs? Talent searches and IQ tests are the main way to sort this out. (How many hours/week is the gifted program? 2 hours a week may be fine for a kid who is on the "just like everyone else" side of gifted. Each program is different, but most of them are aimed at the top 5-3% not the 1 out of 1000 type kid.)
2) How happy is my child in her current situation? How much is she happy because she is "good at blending in?" Is she able to "get a lot of milage out of the regular work because she embelishes them?"

Seems like given your proximity to CTD, an educational assesment would be a fast way to bring yourself "up to speed" on how giftedness affects your daughter, and "atone" for past denial. It will give you a baseline for your own perceptions of how to parent your daughter. If the money isn't an issue, what would stop you from making the phone call. Interesting question, isn't it?

Love and More Love,
Trinity

Great suggestions, Trinity.

Asking myself the questions you posed made me feel better and really helped to clarify my thinking. For the most part my daughter is happy. She has always said she doesn't feel challenged in school, but she is very happy socially. She's flourished socially this year, but now that I think about it, it's because she is in a class with the gifted cluster students.

She's an embellisher when she wants to be (if the subject really interests her), but typically not. I don't think she's the 1 in 1000, but I don't know--and I suppose that's why I should have her privately tested. I'm definitely going to have her take the EXPLORE test.

I'll take a look and see about books and I'll go through Hoagies.

Thanks again, Trinity. You've helped me tremendously.

TJS

Best Wishes TJS -
I don't think 9 is "too old" for getting useful information out of an educational assesment. I'm glad to hear that she is happy and fitting in, although for females that's also cause to "get out the magnifing glass" because we females tend to be overly accepting of our situations.

I just looked up IMSA! looks like they have Saturday programs also. See if you can mingle with the parents a bit, as they might have local leads for you.
http://www2.imsa.edu/programs/kidsinstitute/current_programs/current_programs.html

Big Smile!
Waving Wildly!
Trinity

Hi, I have two kids: a daughter, age 8 and a son, age 4.5. DS is in a private K right now, but will have to repeat K in public school next yr. due to a late birthday (Nov.) He recently tested at 99.9 percentile on the WPPSI-III. I am concerned that he will be bored next year since he is already reading and doing arithmetic. Our school doesn't offer much in the way of gifted services until fourth grade.

DD is most likely gifted as well, although she has not been tested. She reads for pleasure at a sixth grade level and easily catches on to math concepts. She is happy in school, however, so we haven't pursued testing. DS is a different story, though. When he is bored he really resists going to school. He doesn't interact much with his age-mates although he plays beautifully with DD and her friends.

Can anyone tell me more about the Davidson Young Scholars program? Do they intercede with schools on a student's behalf?