Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Intrinsic motivation v pocket money

Hey all.

What's your position on rewarding kids financially for tasks that aren't just their household chores or other things they're expected to do anyway like homework or sports/music practice? Things like doing extra sports/music practice, or creating artwork, or working to improve a skill?

DD5 wants her own money. I want to give her the chance to earn it. I don't want it to be linked to things she has to do anyway. But my friends have suggested that linking financial reward to more creative/educational pursuits might sabotage her intrinsic motivation to do those things.

Thoughts?

PS. I searched but the 'kids and money' thread didn't address the issue of intrinsic motivation

I try not to attach rewards to things my son finds intrinsically motivating. My son is overly motivated by grades, and I do pay for A's (on days he doesn't yell at me). But he has a lot of temper tantrums so I haven't paid for an A in months. He has one daily chore but if he does more I'll pay for those "money chores". It's fine for motivation, but honestly, he doesn't actually earn money this way. IDK.

Money and my DD are a rich and complicated topic, and only one part of it has anything to do with motivation. Short version - she gets a regular allowance that isn’t tied to anything she does. That teaches her money management, becomes something we can withdraw for negative behaviors, and ends arguments when she wants things that I don’t want to buy for her - if she wants it badly enough, she can pay for it herself.

She also gets special rewards for things she’s already plenty intrinsically motivated to do, just because they’re worth acknowledging. Every report card period she gets paid, and there’s no conflict there. She quite enjoys getting paid, but she earns the grades for other reasons.

Where money has been used as an inducement was where intrinsic motivation was missing, or was insufficient to overcome her self-doubt/sabotage. And what I found was that the money provided a bridge towards intrinsic motivation. One of those places was grades... when the work was too simple, or too stupid (thank you, Common Core math) to be worthy of her consideration, I basically bribed her to “play the game” in school and do what she was asked. This provided an important demonstration of her abilities that was necessary to get her into more advanced classes, taught her the patience to get through drudge work, and got her to a place where she began to value good grades for their own sake. As I said before, she is past that and no longer requires that external motivation, and the compensation has been retracted to report cards only.

As for chores - are there really any intrinsic motivations for those? The only motives there are negative - I don’t want to live in a dirty house, etc.

Here's our system. Each kid has a base allowance. They are expected to do their chores and help out whenever asked for this base amount.

We then track +'s and -'s each month. They are free to do anything above and beyond their 'usual' expectations for more money. If they do extra chores or helping without us asking that is a +. If we have to nag them to do their normal chores that's a -. If they are miserable humans to us or each other -, etc.

At the end of the month we then go through the list - lots of +'s and they get a bonus on top of their allowance, lots of -'s they get less. Most of our stuff is around pitching in around the house. We haven't really had the need to extend beyond that (ie school or activities) but it would be pretty easy to adapt to pretty much anything I'd think.

Probably not useful: My adolescent offers the viewpoint that parents should engage in lengthy, thoughtful discussions with their children about the reasons for household tasks, ranging from the immediate (hygiene) to the long-term (environment). I said, "What if the child answers that it won't matter if the environment is destroyed; I'll be dead and gone?" DC's reply: Praise the child for being smart. Not helpful, DC#1, not helpful!

But seriously, we don't give allowances, pay for chores, or assign routine chores. Among our family values is the idea that everyone helps to the extent that they are capable, both on request, and simply when one sees a need, because we are a team. We have joint responsibilities to care for the people, planet, objects, and time entrusted to us, which are operationalized variously, depending on the skills and capacity of the individual.

On a practical level, if you participated in, or benefited from, the use of something, then you become equally responsible for its care (including cleanup). (Though, again, what care/cleanup looks like depends on your current skill set, and may be heavily scaffolded by a more skilled member of the family. The point isn't perfect accuracy; it's ownership.) If there is a pattern of not taking responsibility for such, then you lose the privilege of making use of it (beyond basic necessities).

We give a small allowance. We do have chores, but the allowance is not related. Large chores, like cutting the grass or washing the car, may come with additional money.

However, then we also do not buy extras. You want a pack of gum at the store? Sure, but it is being deducted from your account. Etc.

I probably come out ahead. And kids get the freedom of spending money AND learning money skills.

I do not pay for grades or practicing. I agree that it may affect intrinsic motivations. Praising for doing extra probably would work better, imo.

I should add that I believe that families may make their own decisions regarding allowances and paying for chores, and that extrinsic (money or otherwise) motivators can absolutely be used as tools to bridge to intrinsic motivation. Praise, after all, is an extrinsic motivator. A different solution is not necessarily a lesser solution.

Thanks everyone for your input. I think that, although I hadn't thought of it in those terms exactly, the idea of offering an extrinsic reward in order to bridge a skill gap and help DD5 arrive at intrinsic motivation is what I was getting at when I thought about offering pocket money for doing extra work on things she isn't particularly interested in (over and above what she is already expected to do). Thanks Dude and aeh for putting words to it. Portia, the coupon idea was a great solution! What an ingenious child!

I see what you are trying to do, which may or may not be beneficial/harmful to development of intrinsic motivation depending on how you implement/monitor it and your DD's particular characteristics. There is the separate issue of your DD wanting her own money. Perhaps you can give her a set amount to spend/allocate that you would normally spend/allocate anyway - for example, X amount for hair accessories or Y amount for school supplies.