Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Unmotivated Gifted Child -- Help!

Hi!

My ten-year-old daughter was identified as gifted through scoring in the 99th percentile on the OLSAT. Since my husband and I were both identified as gifted in school, we were originally proud, BUT (big BUT) --

Now we have more confirmation that she has the potential we always assumed she had. This has been the cause of a lot of conflict in the house because she refuses to do her homework, among other problems. She only wants to do what has a practical value for her at a certain time. If she senses the homework doesn't ultimately matter, ("Why should we have to memorize the capitals of all the states? That's what Google is for!") she'll make a video or hang out with her friends instead.

Piano comes very easily to her, but she won't practice. Same with guitar.

Her behavioral issues are worse. She is constantly in trouble with teachers and playground supervisors for talking back, rolling her eyes at them, getting in power struggles with them or with boys at her table, being tough on girls and telling them to "Not be babies" if they are crying, etc. She only cares about her own justice/fairness system and can't seem to play the elementary school game. She has probably spent more time in the principal's office than anyone else in her grade.

She did really excel in math after I hired a twice-a-week tutor for her. She seemed to thrive on the one-on-one attention. And she had a goal -- she wanted to get into advanced math in middle school. Other than math, her grades are meh. She just won't do the work.

Has anyone else had similar problems? If so, how did you address them?

Thank you in advance!

Sugardog

So, what happened at school as far as the academic portion after she was identified at that ability level? Any changes to her schedule or is she still with her age-mates doing the standard curriculum?

Thanks so much for your reply! When we let her know she got into the Gifted and Talented Program, she originally started to think of herself more seriously academically and was very motivated. That quickly passed.

Contrary to what we were promised by the school and the school district, she was not clustered into separate groups for classes -- none of the GATE kids were. I had a meeting with the principal, the English teacher, and the math teacher.

The math teacher said she sends an extra math packet home with kids who are excelling in math, but my daughter hadn't mastered the basic skills well enough to deserve an extra homework packet yet.

The English teacher said, "I teach at a GATE level to all the kids." She eventually gave kids who were faster learners (no relationship to GATE) harder dictation sentences, which she gave my daughter. That was it -- harder dictation sentences.

There was none of the promised "clustering" in Science or Social Studies either. The principal just said they have great teachers and a great school.

Clearly, none of them were following the GATE guidelines as set out by the school district. Because it was my daughter's last year at the elementary school and she already had a "defiant" reputation among the teachers, I decided to not blow the whistle to the school district.

However, I do think the lack of clustering and more challenging/interesting tasks definitely gave her a more negative attitude toward school. The only thing that truly helped her intellectual motivation and growth this year was hiring a math tutor. He challenges her, discusses interesting facts about numbers, gives her exciting glimpses of calculus, etc. He likes fractions; she likes decimals. Now math is her favorite subject, and she's at the top of her class.

Thanks again!
Sugardog

I literally just posted a thread about my unmotivated almost 16 year old.

I don't have any advice, but good luck!