Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Horrible Meeting With DD's Teacher

Had a disaster of a meeting with DD's teacher which really escalated to a horrible place.

I have been having issues with DD's teacher concerning reading this year. She is in 2nd and the district doesn't do GT only high ability. DD was placed by the HA coordinator with this teacher based upon conversations we had at the end of last year concerning DD's level and expectations.

DD took the MAP test at the beginning of the year and did great. Her winter test showed negative growth and she retook the test in late January and only showed 4 points of growth when her average for the year should be 12 points.

The teacher had not really done any reading with DD up to that point reading at a level much lower than MAP's suggested lexile and we let it go because DD is pretty quick to catch up and we were not sure what would be coming for the rest of 2nd semester. Many teachers start slow and gain a ton of growth by the end of the year.

Now the test is only a few weeks away and DD's teacher still has not read at her level and is instead wrapping up the year with Junior Great Books and Jacob's Ladder which have selections far below DD's reading level. In some cases 5 or 6 levels down.

The teacher has basically gone the whole school year doing nothing in DD's RIT band and I am really starting to worry. DD's reading has slacked off and I find her going back to books she read last year with no motivation to read like she had before.

So I called a meeting with DD's teacher. I asked what DD was reading at her level because the selections were too easy and I felt it was affecting her reading and motivation. The teacher immediately shut me down accusing me of "personally attacking her" just because I mentioned this fact. No voices were raised, nothing. She continued to act very upset because I told her there was no way DD could pass her MAP test without direct instruction at her level and this teacher just kept saying she was not doing well because she had been reading "too high" before. When I told her DD was afraid to take the MAP this spring and was constantly asking me if the test would be this week and could I write a note to excuse her from it, the teacher did not believe me. DD is aware that the MAP test is much more difficult than anything she has done in class this year and dreads it which is a drastic change from the beginning of the year when she had done well.

Now the year is ending on a horrible note. DD feels bad about herself and is shutting down from reading, is afraid of testing, the teacher blames me and acts like I'm a hostile tiger parent, and nothing will be solved as it's too late in the year.

I'm really thinking of leaving this school next year. It just seems so dysfunctional to me. I don't see how I can live down the reputation she will most likely spread about me just because I asked a simple question about what DD was doing to help her at her level.

I'm sorry. That is so frustrating. I'm frustrated by our interactions with the school this year, which felt reasonable to me but escalated to conflict in a few areas.

I feel really sensitive about it, but my mom was a 3rd grade teacher. She always reminds me of the types of things teachers and principals see on a weekly basis. Truly crazy requests and issues.

I mention this only to provide some perspective. As bad as it seems I'm sure you can recover from it next year.

Hope people on here will have some good suggestions. It seems to me like you did all the right things, but I'm very new to advocacy. GL!

I guess, like you, I didn't feel I was being unreasonable either.

I mainly feel that we're in a Catch 22 position. Our school started giving MAP 3 years ago with letters to parents and high accolades that instruction was only going to get better. 3 years later they are no longer offering improvement plans and when one mentions MAP we are told the district has set curriculum even though they administer the test 3 times per year. They have gone backwards. And apparently are now even accusing parents who ask about it as hostile and possible threats?

We're in what is considered the 3rd highest district in our state, but after awhile on these forums, I'm realizing that what many here say about public schools and how they provide little solution is true. Even more so in our district which has over 20,000 students.

This as well as tons of problems with state testing results due to being tested on level with Common Core states (we've opted out of Common Core) and issues with a new tablet program which garnered a huge online protest (many openly admitting in their posts that the district had started to become more about "damage control" than anything else) has really dealt a blow to credibility.

This year they are trying for another referendum (they have had several now) but I notice support signs are way down and we have record voter registration due to the fall election. It will be interesting to see what happens.

It is too bad she took your comments personally.

I'm a bit confused about why your daughter is stressed out about the MAP, though. Isn't she already reading above the grade level she'll be tested at on the test? Is she reading at home at her level?

I feel there are multiple reasons that she's become stressed about taking the MAP test.

Because it's an adaptive test and operates by RIT level (not age or grade level) she may get questions asking her about high level topics with very complex text way outside of her grade or age level but right on her RIT band. This can produce anxiety for kids who like to be "perfectionists" as DD often does when they see they got a "bad" score as DD already experienced earlier this year. Like another poster on this forum today DD can read but other interests are taking over and school is not working at an appropriate level.

Also our district switched to a "standards based grading system" which is entirely new from when DD's older sister went through the program 2 years ago. They no longer give letter grades and IMO, many teachers are using this system to coast along, especially with high ability by not giving any type of test. For instance, DD has only had 3 reading assessments (not called "tests" anymore) for the entire school year. All were pretty easy multiple choice (as they are only grade level) with no work involved. DD has essentially gone through school with no "tests" except for MAP and all "S's" (Satisfactory) on her report card.

Some people may not have an issue with this, but for some kids, taking a test can be a skill they need to learn and when they are not overly confident (like DD) and tend to be anxious about it when it occurs with no warning (as happened every time this year) it can really mess them up. Same as what happens when kids are not challenged in high school and they reach college and can't keep up feeling overwhelmed.

For kids in the 98th and 99th percentile when they start to feel themselves falling due to a classroom with lowered expectations and preferring to spend time with friends getting away from important things like making time to read regularly or their enjoyment of reading suffers (as I believe DD does) then the MAP test starts at a much higher place and they don't receive instruction on that level, it can seem extreme. Also it's frustrating as a parent when the school has a goal of getting 80% of the 3rd graders to the 65th percentile and you question who will ever care about your child in the 98th percentile (which we learned this year, no one).

I know that DD's aunt administers MAP at her school for special needs kids in the 5th grade and they were required to take it and it was asking some students what the word "synthesis" as it related to a passage in Shakespeare was. Those kids were totally lost and I'm sure they'll have no love for the MAP test going forwards either. Another friend has a son whose school has just started taking MAP and he has major anxiety afraid that he may not "pass".

If the overall school has issues, you may look to make a change. I wouldn't do it because you feel you've screwed up the relationship with the school, though. I don't think you're there.

I try to do what I can to avoid conflict and criticism, but I think that limits me. You should go in with a positive attitude but be prepared to get some resistance and just handle it. In even the best of schools I think you'll have some encounters like you're describing.

I'm still working on that too though...

I have had this issue before where a simple question caused a teacher to become overly defensive. I do understand where they are coming from, but I do not think it helps.

Have you hunted around your district's website to see if there is anyone who is a Reading Specialist? Sometimes they can do a different kind of assessment that give you information on both decoding and interpretation, etc. If one of those exists, I think I would send a written letter asking them to do this. Even if this doesn't help this year, you would have the information for next.

You could also go up the ladder at school, above the teacher, and ask them if they can help you get your concerns addressed. You would have to word this carefully.

Their response might help you decide if you want to stick with the school next year or not, since it sounds like you have other options.

Good luck! It is not fun!

Since I am DH of the poster I have different perception of what went on.

DD is in the 2nd grade she is pretty advanced, mixed class HA/NO HA; school adopted "no grades" K-2nd grade policy. Teacher like to work on the boards so little papers come home.

School Teacher - 20 years experience, teaches decent high level math for the 2nd grade HA: addition of negative positive integer, decimals, multiplication of decimals, fractions, etc.

Reading she does District recommended HA plan [probably mandated]. However this falls many levels below DD current reading level. She read couple low fiction books during entire year, and few non-fiction magazine stories. Lower than expected level, IMHO esp from HA program.

DW went with an attitude, failed to stay on subject, used one too many times word YOU, teacher declared to be offended (not sure if it was genuine IMHO).

School proposed: independent assesment of DRA. Give her her level book to read and work on. Not sure why they felt new testing is needed ( Teacher knows she fudged DD DRA:? ).


The school adopted NWEA test, but NOT NWEA methodology. They do not want to do small ability based groups: "because kiddos do not want to read the same book" (b.s. IMHO). They gave them list of "words" that would clearly be helpful:). They preffer not to constantly advance based on NWEA results.

DW expect my DDs to stay in 98 - 99% (country) only with teaching @public school.

BrownTiger, with all due respect, I think you should consider whether posting about how your "DW went with an attitude" on a public message board is an appropriate way of dealing with your marital differences about your daughter's education.

Were you at the meeting? I couldn't tell whether your post is your reinterpretation of her account of it, or you were there too.

When my husband and I do not agree about education for our kids, we have a policy that each will review any email or other communication that the other is thinking of sending to the school, so that we do not ask for contradictory things or give contradictory information.