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Hello, I posted a long time ago about getting my son (9) tested and the following fiasco we had with the tester we found. I was under the impression that he would do the test (he used the WISC IV) and release the results to us and go over them in depth. It turned out that after he took the test it was like pulling teeth to get the results. Turns out he wasn't going to release the results to us-he thought we wanted the test done so he could get into a gifted school, and he was going to send the results to that school (even though I had told him the school we were looking into wasn't a gifted school). I ended up getting a very brief page of results that said he was High Superior, I believe the term was. Still no number precisely but I believe the range was 120-130. He said our insurance wouldn't cover further tests or the in depth report on these results, so that's as far as we got.

We ended up sending him to a private preschool-8th grade school this school year (3rd grade) that isn't for gifted children but has a curriculum I really like and "teaches to the top". Our son says he isn't any happier there and although he is doing very well, he rushes his work and makes careless mistakes. My husband thinks it's a mistake to send him to private elementary school and we're having a hard time making ends meet because of it, even though we got a good bit of financial aid, so I'm not really getting supported in this decision. I really pushed for it because I imagine it's miserable to be unhappy like he was at public school, but as I said, he doesn't seem any happier here.

His interests are fleeting-he absorbs himself in video games but we try to limit those. He hasn't found any other hobbies he can really absorb himself in and because of our situation we can't really throw money at a lot of things. We don't really know how to handle someone who is young but mature beyond his years. He has friends but he's often upset after playdates with them because he didn't have as much fun as he hoped. He's had mental health issues too, and a small disagreement or something that doesn't quite go his way can be quite devastating to him.

I guess I'm just looking for people who have been through this. I'm sorry for the novel but I haven't really had anyone to talk to about this yet.

I am not sure if this fits your situation, but we have a success story with video game obsession. When our ds was elementary/middle school age, we tried to limit him to 30 minutes gaming a day, which was not enough for him. We stumbled on a solution by which he could *earn* more game time by spending time learning how to *make* computer games. Some was informal (e.g., Scratch), but he also did some online and summer classes through gifted programs for kids (we've stuck to neighborhood public schools otherwise). He was very enthusiastic about this system, and is now, at 16yo and a high school sophomore, is a confident (and maybe competent, lol) programmer, and wants to study Computer Science in college.

It is hard to have enough information regarding a person to give advice on which kind of school to go to, but have you considered a public school or online public school and then use the tuition money for classes in your son's interest or activities such as scouting, sports, art etc? You may want to join these groups with him, depending on what it is.

It sounds like he could use more social groups outside of any school in order to find more kids that would be similar to him. Just an idea.

We've done things where we have him earn more time by earning points and using those towards screen time but nothing really stuck. Everything became an argument and when he has a different schedule one day like having to go to piano lessons or basketball he'd lose out on some screen time even though he had the points for it and that did not sit well. He just does not like anything outside of a regular schedule but unfortunately with different things going on it's impossible to have the same schedule every day. Plus he'd rack up so many points that he'd have enough for hours and hours every day and he didn't think it was fair that we were limiting it even though he had the points for more time. It was just a headache.

We tried Khan Academy and I thought it was great but he used to skip tutorials because he wanted to figure it out on his own. Then it would be too hard to figure out and he got frustrated and gave up. In everything he does, he wants to skip the basics and jump right in but then when he gets to a part where he needs the basics that he never learned, he gives up.

I don't know if I could get my husband's support for an online school if I couldn't get his support on a private school. I don't think my husband is on the same page as me on any of this and that makes it really difficult.

Our son hasn't really expressed interest in scouts or anything. I asked him and he just shrugged. I think he wants to go out and do things on his own. He's never been a fan of organized sports or clubs or anything. He liked when he took basketball on Saturdays earlier this year but he can't join the school team until 5th grade. His school has a summer camp that offers some of the things he likes and he's taking a couple things this summer but he can't take a lot of the things like robotics and computers until next year.