Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy About Squeamishness and Fainting

Our DS (9) has has had a "thing" about certain words since he was four. He will avoid books that talk about some subjects and will cover his ears when he sees a sentence coming up that has words in it that make him uncomfortable.

He tells me that whenever he hears certain terms, he gets a reaction that he describes happens in his extremities. Specifically, he feels a sort of weakness or contraction. For example: the word blood will give him this feeling.

Recently, his reading class has been reading about famous surgeons, and the descriptions have gotten a bit graphic for him.

I went into the school to talk to his teacher about his reactions, and she didn't seem overly concerned. Another teacher overheard my conversation and suggested he take some deep breaths and basically "psych himself out" to push away any negative feelings.

This week I've asked how he's been doing during oral reading time and he's told me he tunes out the parts. I don't think this is quite what the teacher suggested, and so am worried he's not absorbing important details about the story for the test.

Has anyone a child that has a similar reaction to words? How have you helped them through?

BTW....Our family has a member that faints at having blood drawn and another that upon hearing descriptive words will faint.

I have a similar issue with anything related to broken bones, the thought of them, the possibility of a bone being broken, or someone near me with a broken bone. I faint. I don't know what exactly bothers me about it. I have no problems with shots, blood, watching surgeries (that don't involve bones)... Etc.

When I start to feel faint I have to sit or lay down. I'm sorry I don't have any advice as to how to help your ds not feel uncomfortable about it. His feelings are valid. Some people just can't tolerate anything medically, my dh is one and will actually plug his ears and sing to avoid hearing it. Lol

My DD11 has a similar thing about needles. The thought, the word, the implication has her covering her ears, curling up in a ball and saying "no, no, no - don't even say the word!" She needed minor surgery last fall and we coordinated it with another medical procedure that also required anesthesia. This was like a military maneuver that took months of planning. 2 doctors from 2 different specialties had to be scheduled for OR at the same time, we had to gather requests for any conceivable blood work anyone could possibly want in the next year or 2 so it could be done while she was under anesthesia. She even got several vaccinations while she was under. We had a special 1-1 session with childlife to prepare her and they even presedated her just so we could get her to the hospital. Quite an ordeal...

Last week she was home from school with a fever and was in charge of the remote control. She discovered that she loved a show called "Untold Stories of the ER" and binge watched something like 10 episodes through on demand. I couldn't understand how she could watch it - lots of shots, IV's, needles in the chest because of collapsed lungs (lots and lots of those...) but I let her watch to her hearts content. A few days later when she asked to rewatch a favorite episode I asked her about all the needles on the show and she looked at me dumbfounded. I don't think she even realized she had become more comfortable.

A few weeks earlier I had suggested visiting the blood draw area of the local children's hospital at a time when she didn't need blood work just so she could see it at a time she was "safe" and she was absolutely adamant this was not going to happen. I bet I could get her to tour an ER now though...

Not sure if it helps but at least with my DD I have found context is everything. She got caught up in the interesting/amusing/unusual stories and that was enough to get her over the hump. I still don't see her cooperating with needles or blood tests in the foreseeable future but I now have a reference that I can use if she sees or hears something that freaks her out.

Our DD had the same reaction. For her, it was the word blood, and many things associated with it, even having her blood pressure taken at a well visit was extremely difficult for a few years. And yes vaccines; she was one of those kids much too big to need several nurses to hold her down, but she did.

She would describe similar feelings to your son's, but she would sometimes have more extreme reactions which resulted in fainting. She fainting during the first grade field trip to "hospital land" (an informational/educational visit to the local children's hospital.) She fainted while helping her dad stuff the turkey one Thanksgiving. She came close in health class a few times. She rationally knew this was an overreaction, and that she should be able to control,herself, but she couldn't, at least for several years.

Good news is that she is now able to handle her reactions, and hasn't fainted in a few years. She is aware of the warning signs in her own body, and knows how to prevent it. And amazingly, she has been able to compartmentalize things so that she can learn and enjoy topics that she shied away from when she was younger, like dissections in biology. We were worried she would never be able to get through high school bio, but she loved it including the parts that would have made her squeamish before. She will never like blood, and I doubt she will choose a career path that involves the hips an body, but she learned to control what is a very real, physical/visceral reaction.

I guess my on,y message is that this is a real problem for some people (adults as well as kids) and that he can learn to manage his reactions. I would talk to your DS about his relatives that faint, and if they will, have them discuss it with him, too. We also made sure to notify teachers ahead of time about potential problems. Especially in high school, it was very important to DD not to draw attention to herself; what she needed was awareness from the teacher in case she had to excuse herself and step out of the room (which she did a few times.) I also,think sometimes teachers don't really get it (though the HS bio teacher did, the first grade teacher assured me she would be fine, and then was kind of sheepish when she had to call me becuase DD had indeed fainted- I think she didn't really believe me.)

That's my DD11 as well. She once went on a summer camp field trip to a pioneer village where they visited an old-fashioned dental office. The staff member started to describe some of the instruments and what they were for - DD started to feel ill. Camp staff called me - we had no idea what was happening, so they called for an ambulance. But we did learn one thing - there is a medical term for this: Vasovagal syncope

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/vasovagal-syncope/basics/definition/con-20026900

DD still has anxiety about going to the dentist - to the point where I now can't get her to go for a cleaning.

Pemberley - that is so cool that your DD would watch that show! Excellent exposure therapy! I wonder if there is a similar show for dentistry??

Edited to add: My father also has this reaction. When I was a kid, one time I was at emerg. for an accident and the doctor had to get me off the exam table so that my father could lay down on it!

The stories I could tell of fainting triggers! Let's just say, I can watch a show like ER or Grey's Anatomy, or a crime show, and just look away once in a while, but even hearing about a knee surgery or watching someone pinch their hand in a door can cause me to faint. I have a vivid imagination (or is it empathy?) and can feel another's pain, so I have to make a concerted effort to distance myself. The downside is that comes across as insensitive at times, as I remain guarded, but the alternative is me on the floor. I will skim parts of stories that are too graphic, and I will not watch parts of movies that are too gorey, and I think that's okay. I highly recommend him not watching movies of books, or viewing certain graphic novels, of text that was too hard to stomach, because then the images may burn in his mind forever.

So, one aspect is a mental part -- being able to distance yourself. Yes, psyching yourself out is a skill to utilize. Another is a physical balance aspect -- keep hydrated and well-rested, don't stand up quickly, always sit a while after a blood draw, use mental relaxation techniques/deep breathing when feeling that discomfort, don't watch needles going into your body, and learn to recognize the feeling so if feel like you might go down, always lie or sit down, or bend over, until your blood pressure comes back up (to avoid hitting your head in a fainting fall!). The funny thing is, I can totally distance myself when my kids get injured. But I can feel light-headed at the smell of a medical clinic.

Where my DH and I work we both frequently use needles and see blood. When people first start working at either place they do sometimes have difficulty and we help them with a stepwise approach to desensitize. First they take syringes out of the package and practice drawing up water, then putting on the needle, then injecting an orange, then injecting the real thing. All the steps up to the last one are practiced as many times as they want. We also avoid social reinforcement of their fears, so that means not supporting or enabling the avoidance of the feared item (blood, syringe, or needle). I do tell them a reaction is normal and that many people don't like these things, but that most people desensitize over time. Even though people have previously experienced vaso-vagal symptoms, we don't dwell on that aspect and, so far, this approach works well.

At home with DD, we emphasized that there is a need for the procedure and answered each question honestly. "Will this hurt?" "Yes, a little just while it's happening (or for a little while after for vaccinations)". We talk about coping skills like thinking about something really interesting, talking to the parent who is with you, sing a song in your head, etc. When DD was small, we gave her the choice of holding still herself, or being held down. She found this empowering and was able to hold still by herself starting at about age 3 (much to the shock of the nurse giving the shot! LOL!). This was a great relief to me, because I really hated holding her down!

We took a similar approach, and had very similar behavior on the part of the little one. Actually, at one of the preschool rounds of vaccination, our little person was quite displeased because the nurse would not allow watching the injection, and we had to explain that watching would not induce freaking out--rather the reverse.

That kind of approach can help, depending on the personality of the kid. I have one fine with needles and one still anxious about it at age 11. Don't think we really did anything differently with each one.

Actually, DD11 _was_ relatively OK with vaccines when she was really young - the anxiety developed later.