Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Is This Bullying?

DD9 is in 4th grade math (99% math MAP) and was placed with the high ability teacher who has been in the district for a long time, is the spokesperson for the program, and leads the math bowl.

The work in the class so far has been very underwhelming with no differentiation. DD says it basically feels like a repeat of many 3rd grade topics which I concur. Upon grumbling from parents, the teacher made a comment to the class along the lines of "if students or their parents were wondering why they were in the low math class, we all the learn the same things eventually".

Then, this week she decided to make a foray into "Algebra". However, once again, the materials given were equally underwhelming and DD completed all assignments for the topic (about 6) in 30 minutes and went to talk to the teacher about it the next day. The teacher's response was that she was "ashamed" of DD for completing it so quickly(which she said in front of several students) and to point out DD's lack of attention span (again in front of the rest of the class) all during math and took the books away at the end of the lesson and said they won't be coming out again until May.

Unfortunately, we don't have a tape recording of this event. I consider this bullying. Is it?

DD wanted to be in the math bowl earlier on, but now she says she's not sure she wants to participate.

I don't really know what to offer you, but WOW. I'd be taking some sort of action -- at minimum, a meeting to discuss the situation. Bullying is more of an ongoing thing, I think, so I'm not sure you would take that approach unless it's a pattern of behavior. But it's definitely inappropriate behavior.

I don't think it's ever OK for an adult, especially a teacher, to shame a child, especially in front of their peers. I would address this with the principal.

I am sorry for your daughter. That is not how a 9 year old (or for that matter any student) should be treated. And the words she used are unprofessional. You can email that teacher and ask her exactly what she meant to convey by the words that were spoken during the incident while letting her know that you are trying to understand the situation better. CC the principal or admin on the email.


As for why she might have said that - when a coach/teacher sends thought provoking problems in the assignments, they expect the student to take a long time on each problem, mulling over different strategies and learn by the thinking process as well as by solving the problems - this is what my son's chess coach tells him when he solves difficult strategy puzzles in under 5 minutes - so, I think that math teacher thought that the assignments were very challenging for the class and that it would take a long time to complete - it was obvious that it was not hard or challenging for your daughter - the teacher may be reaching the limits of the enrichment or acceleration that she can provide for your daughter - and hence lashed out at her and took away the books. I consider it immaturity on the teacher's part, panic that she does not know how to handle bright students and ignorance because of preconceived notions that many teachers have about "algebra readiness".

Do contact her and bring up the issue - the teacher has to be called out for this kind of behavior. Good luck.

I don't know if it would be considered bullying, but we have many similarities with dd9's current teacher and what the class is like for dd and the rest of the class.

Woww, not sure if it's called bullying, but she sounds like my daughter's 2nd grade teacher.

It's unfortunate enough, my close friend's son has this teacher this year and when my friend told me about the issues in his son's class, I knew who was the teacher before she told me her name.

I don't know what is right thing to do in this case. In our case, I tried to talk to teacher a few times, but unfortunately she wasn't open to about any thinking other than hers. I had an appointment with the principal and I canceled it last minute (I regret it to this day). I didn't want things to get worse as it was close to end of school year. She dinged a few grades in my daughter's last report card and as family we don't remember her very well.

Is there a chance for you to talk to other parents to see what they are thinking?

I think if the words your daughter said the teacher used are true, then it fits the definition of bullying because the teacher is in a position of power over your daughter. It does not have to be over time to be bullying, according to some definitions.

Gosh, this is tough though. I think if you have the guts to do it, I would not email, but schedule a face to face conference (or phone call) asap and bring it up then, in as cordial and non-confrontational way as you possibly can. The reason is that I would want an immediate answer without a lot of time to put any spin on it.

That is just my opinion though and easier said than done. Of course, she may have said something different, in which case it would be good for her to know how your daughter interpreted it.