Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional overwhelmed and sad

I wish he could just move to 100% high school and be done messing with the middle school.

That is Plan B.

If he can make it through this year, he will only have one MS class next year.

If he can't, I'm hoping to make a case to leave him in the HS classes (as long as he continues to do well), and maybe do virtual/homeschool history/LA.

He really loves his friends in this program. It wouldn't be a total loss, socially, if he can't stay in the gifted part but can stay in HS, because he has MS friends in the HS classes.

Also keep in mind there could be challenges in the classes that appear to be going just fine, it's just that the teachers in those particular classes are giving him more leeway, or they are telling you he is fine because they don't want you to worry, or make a "fuss", etc. I think that I told you before that we actually saw DD's grades inflate after we started the IEP/complaint process. DD was getting better grades for work that was worse than her peers. DD wasn't really expected to DO the assignments. If she had to write a "story" and she put a lot of effort into writing 3 sentences, they gave her an A or B, whereas her classmates would get a C and be told to re-write their story. They graded DD for effort and not actual performance compared to peers. See what I mean? And most teachers don't want to say negative things to parents about how a child with a disability is doing. On the other hand it could be that the classes are more structured/organized, they play to his strengths rather than weaknesses, the teachers are actually following the 504, and he really is functioning just fine (in which case those teachers might say that they don't believe any special services or an IEP is necessary, just to warn you--after all he does just fine in their classes with the 504).

You are not an annoyance at all! Everything you've said here makes sense, and is a different perspective and I appreciate it. It *is* a different way of life. There's a huge mind shift in thinking of DS as super smart with a few ADHD symptoms to a person with ASD, and it changes my perception of what he needs at home and school.

I really like your whole post--it feels like coaching and it's very helpful. So thank you!That is what I meant, really, by "no issues whatsoever." I'm sure teaching DS isn't a cakewalk for anyone, but I haven't heard anything negative from his other teachers and he seems to be doing well in those classes.

My goal for this week is to focus on the positives because the other is upsetting. I hope the school will conclude he needs an IEP, but if they don't--we can work with the 504. I'm wanting him to receive some direct interventions, so I can step back a little and just be his mom some of the time. We'll see.

Yeah, I think the goal should be to teach him some of the organizational skills that he's lacking, not just accommodate, and you can't do that if you're not even at the school. I would push for IEP, but of course, if you are dealing with incompetent people or the case manager would be incompetent (who knows), it's pointless. Given what you've said about how idiotic the school has been about evaluating him, I'm not expecting much.

To me, these folks don't sound incompetent-- they sound ill-informed about the special educational needs of twice-exceptional students.

I think taking a breath to regroup is a good idea. Spaghetti's advice is also very sound.