Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Elementary school -- remembering to be responsible

I use post-its on the front door, too, and can never find my keys!

The most embarrassing incident was the time I walked into a restaurant, paid for my carry-out order, and left without the food.

At least it does help me understand my poor absent-minded-professor DS.I'm impressed you remembered to go to your locker!

When DS was in elementary, I used to place bets on how long the lunchbox would last. We usually switched to brown bags about a month or so into the year.

Also, a regular part of the routine was searching the school's lost and found box for his outerwear.

There are so many things they have to remember! I recall trying to explain to my parents they shouldn't be angry with me for forgetting things--because when you forget, you just...forget. It's a hard thing to convey to people without these issues. Kind of like trying to prove a negative.

The checklist sounds like a great idea. I hope the new teacher is receptive and will help your DS remember to use it!

Yes, I absolutely agree with you, polarbear and eco. I try not to sound like I am blaming him, but he goes to the after-care program after school, and sometimes, the after-care staff blames him. So, all in all, he thinks it is very hard to remember everything and bring it back (even though it is a maximum of 4 things).

I talked to him at length today, and he has told me that he prefers having a check-list that a grown-up (the teacher) can go over with him, rather than just being told to pack up. He also told me that he wishes he could do it without the teacher's help, but right now, he cannot.


I may have exaggerated the six or seven times. It is probably like ten times. I've started a log, so I can remember and track it. I remember everything I need, everything I would need, everything I needed in the past, you get the picture -- I think I have exceptional EF skills. So, in a way, it is hard for me to deal with this level of forgetfulness.

I have sent an email to the teacher requesting that the checklist be implemented.


I think this is the case. He's very, very good at certain things, but really does not seem to care too much about clothes/shoes being untied or backpacks/lunchbags or whatever. I am seriously worried about the increasing expectations for EF skills as he grows older. He really needs a checklist, and someone to walk him through the list every single day. He's still not independent with the checklist (I've asked him many times, but he says he's too busy thinking about other things (and not so much about the checklist).

This worries me too. I keep telling him he needs to do whatever the teacher asks of him, in terms of school-work, handing over home-work etc, but it is definitely a work in progress.

This pushing of responsibility at such an early age bugs me. Sure, some kids can do it, but in other people EF brain connections don't fully mature until they are 30 or so.

As long as the teachers are flexible about these things, that's fine, but our school started grading the kids' assignment notebooks in 4th grade, which was way too early.

And for some of us...not even then.

I think it's okay as long as it's viewed as a skill, and kids with deficits are given direct, specific, one-on-one instruction the same way a child with a reading problem should be helped, for instance.

"Responsibility" isn't the right word. Challenged is better, I think. Not that kids don't need to learn to manage their challenges, but the frame is important so they don't internalize and feel like they are Bad (Irresponsible) Kids.

There is a running joke in our family about me and restaurant leftovers. I get them packed to go. Then we make a joke that I'll probably forget them. And then I forget them. Sometimes not 10 minutes later, with them sitting on the table in a bag! It happens all the time.

So how could I scold my DS7 for being "irresponsible" when he forgets something. I can hopefully teach him to stop and check for the priority things. But honestly, it drives me batty that people pile guilt upon the trait of forgetfulness. It's like nuns whacking children for writing left-handed.

It's SO depressing when you think you have a midnight snack and realize it's still at the restaurant...

This made me LOL. Nice analogy, suevv.

You are not alone I have done worse LOL

I once used a MAC machine took the receipt but left the cash there.

At my grocery store, you go through the checkout, they bag your groceries, and they wheel them to the curb to wait for you, and they will load them into the trunk for you. If, that is, you remember to swing by and get them instead of blithely hopping in your car and driving home, leaving a gallon of ice cream to melt in the cart. More than twice.

I put post-it notes in my son's lunch to remind him when he needs to see a teacher at lunch, and on his books or folders to remind him to turn in homework, but if it's a day he doesn't have lunch or he doesn't use the book or folder during class, he's doomed.

Just a quick update -- I think my child is definitely not bringing everything he should be. So, the 7 times was an understatement. He also did not complete his work, and received a very low grade. He has accommodations for work completion as well, but the 504 does not seem to be followed in reality. It is almost as though I have to stay on top of things to make sure that the 504 is followed. Is this the norm ?