Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Throw your middle school exec function tips at me

DD is struggling a little bit with the transition to middle school. It is not the difficulty of the work (I know you all are shocked) but the complexity and number of "things to remember." She has a daily planner, which she keeps up with, but things are falling through the cracks.

One teacher in particular has a chaotic classroom and DD has missed several handouts (that is, they didn't get to her and DD didn't notice--this would be a pretty typical DD behavior) that are now late. DD didn't notice them at all--I did, because I checked online and saw them. DD has done them but keeps forgetting to hand them in, so they are getting later and later. I don't know how she can "remind herself" to turn them in. Thoughts?

That same class has a daily "turn it in as you leave class" assignment that DD has forgotten to hand in several times. I think this is handed out at the beginning of the class and they must remember to complete it and hand it in. Again, thoughts on how she can automatize this?

In addition, this teacher sends things home for parents to sign, etc that do not end up on the things they should write in their planner --that is, she throws it at them as they leave class, etc. These end up forgotten because they are not in the planner.

The class, IOW, is very hard to manage for a child who is not super great with remembering everything. DD is doing absolutely great with its actual content but is probably currently getting a C due to missed work.

This is the hardest one to handle (other teachers do not seem to be at the same level of micro "stuff" plus classroom chaos--as a parent, I am also finding that class a challenge as she has asked a lot of US!), but there are other things she is struggling with. In elementary, all HW was very clearly delineated and written on the board every day to copy in the planner, and DD dutifully did this and it worked out. This is a more fluid system with more kid responsibility and...yeah. The school also uses a combo system of written planner and Edmodo, which can confuse things.

As I write this out, I see that what is really happening here is that DD does fine with a strong system but when teachers expect her to be able to go off script and handle "extra" stuff, it's not great. She has no ADHD diagnosis--shows some signs, but it's mild. I don't think she would ever receive one that would get her accommodations. What I am looking for is tips and hacks so she can do better. At home, we rely heavily on checklists (at night, she goes through them to make sure she has done things like gather up all HW and record instrument practice) and they work very well. She is motivated to succeed.

This is a difficult situation, but I think the teacher's disorganization is a big part of the problem.

Maybe approach the teacher and ask for permission to email missed assignments in from home? Or ask for all assignments to be posted online so that you can make sure she gets them?

If your daughter's grades are suffering just because of this issue, she may qualify for a 504.

Not a bad idea. We would have to scan them...but they're just sitting there in her folder. However, I wonder if this would be considered a "request for special treatment," coddling, etc.

From what I am told about my district, is is very hard to get a 504 for a high-performing student. DD may get a C in this class, but it could be a B (depends on how she weights things) and is likely to get As or at worst high Bs in everything else. She is in advanced or acclerated-track classes for everything except, ironically, this class (it's an elective).

Some districts (people really) don't get that 2e kids exist. You may want to call a meeting with the teacher or an administrator and provide documentation regarding your daughter. Also maybe bring a few articles from experts discussing 2e issues.

Also, the school (if it is public) has an obligation to accommodate kids who have disabilities that prevent them from performing. You might want to consult with a special ed attorney for your options. I'd be surprised if you couldn't get a 504.

She doesn't have a diagnosis, though. She's actually in therapy for another issue, and ADHD eval is possibly on the table, but we did a lot of forms, etc and she didn't really come up as all that suspicious for ADHD. That said, it's still something on our radar, but they wanted to get to know her better before proceeding; the eval will not be covered by our ins co and it's $$$$.

My feeling is that she has some EF issues but is not fullblown ADHD. Her other issues are probably making it harder than typical to concentrate and be organized.

This can be a chicken and egg situation - to get a 504 or IEP it helps to have the initial eval, but those are indeed expensive.

With our son, we bit the bullet and paid $1500 out of pocket to get the eval, which lead to him being placed on an IEP. The school paid for about $7500 worth of additional testing and expert analysis after that.

I still would recommend a lawyer, but they cost as well.

However, without going through all of this effort, my 12yo with a super-high IQ would probably be suspended from school on multiple occasions. These kids really need help and the schools are legally obliged to provide it.

I am actually looking at eco's thread on "Need help covering another base" and it's got a lot of good tips. DD has some similar issues going on, though she uses her planner and is on board with its utility 100%.

Hmm.

Might be time for a conference with this teacher and your child-- one where you play the role of wanting to partner with the teacher to make sure that your child is getting the most out of the class, mastering the particular learning goals (what are those, again?? <-- often disorganized teachers haven't ever actually stated them for students, which is more than a little unfair if you ask me), understanding what grading is based upon and so on.

"Can you point me to that reference/document/etc?" Use that statement, and practice it in a very neutral tone, maybe even a pleasant and eager one if you can muster it.

Honestly, if the teacher CAN reach a little to help you bridge the gap, this could turn out to be a great learning experience for your child, and help her learn to adapt to a style that she doesn't innately find easy. That has a value all its own. I'd definitely bear that in mind as you try to work with this teacher. It's not about right/wrong even-- it's about bridging the apparent gap between what your child can manage and what this teacher (apparently) can. Disorganized/chaotic people are the BANE of rigid/highly structured ones everywhere. Think of it as a communications challenge.

Oh-- and good luck. My DD still struggles mightily with this type of instructor and she's in college. It was a nightmare when she was in middle school.

One tip that she probably cannot use, but which would be incredibly USEFUL if she could-- is to snap a photo of the board with a smartphone at a couple of intervals during class-- that way, at least the written info that she missed is captured. Can she record class on a voice recorder? It'd be a lot of work for you, but it would permit you to scaffold better note-taking and help her to recognize "clues" to "this information is important and I should write it down!"

Many kids are used to teachers using BOTH auditory and visual notes for the exact same information-- and when one doesn't, they miss a lot. It takes practice.

This is part of the problem. She hasn't been taught to use the planner. Our elementary school does the same thing. Instead of learning to write things down as they're assigned, they learn that you don't write it down until someone tells you to, and it's often at the end of the day, with the teacher adding explanation as they do it.

Who in the real world fills out their planner/calendar at the end of the day when someone tells them to? You write things down as they come up, knowing that this habit protects against forgetting.

As for the specifics of this class: where is she sitting? Some of this can be addressed, or at least helped, by placing her in the spot where the teacher will start the pile of hand outs and all the work coming in from other students will have to go past her. As with eco, a meeting with this teacher about classroom expectations and what the problems appear to be might alert the teacher to the reminders this child will need. Ask the teacher how your child can learn to be successful with remembering to hand things in at the end of this class each day.

If it makes you feel any better my DD is floundering a bit too.

I think that middle school EF demands necessarily get ramped up to prepare kids for high school and that some dropped balls are an inevitable part of learning the ropes.

I am monitoring this closely, it has been compounded by the fact the kids have all been given iPads to work on and maintain an agenda on. They are expected to type homework assignments along with due dates into their agendas. Sometimes my DD doesn't have time to type it all in before class leaves or sometimes she is late because she Maths class is over in the 8th grade end of the school whereas she is technically in 6th so she has to rush.

Last night I imposed a rule to help her advocate better for herself - she will own emailing the request for the assignment from the teacher. This should help her to get the work and to develop confidence in speaking up for herself with teachers.

If this is still an issue after a month I will have to try something else LOL