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    Joined: May 2014
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    My parents were very strict about make-up and I complained bitterly throughout junior high when I was the only one (or so I thought) in my whole school who was not allowed to wear make-up. I was less strict about this with my DD, but she seems to have little interest in make-up. She usually wears none on the weekends and only a small amount on occasion to school.

    I am, however, stricter than Ivy re: hair color. My kids have never dyed their hair, even though they had friends with pink or blue hair in elementary school. I'm also probably stricter than most parents in our neighborhood, though-- no cell phones in elementary or early middle school, no solo dating until 16, etc. I'd rather have my kid feel like he/she is being wild by dyeing hair in college than to be jaded because he/she was allowed to do everything at a young age. I do acknowledge that I am probably in a minority, though.

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    I think make up and hair color are related but orthogonal issues. Both are about identity, but makeup is much more about a gender normative, sexualized version of identity... while colored hair or piercings, etc are about a rebellious, counter normative version of identity. Personally, I would sanction or mildly encourage the counter normative expressions while being suspicious of the mainstream sexualized versions in a tween. I wouldn't ban either of those in junior high. Either way some discussions about identities and their consequences seem in order.

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    Raptor_dad, I think you have an interesting and not inaccurate view of this. But I did wonder if she wears makeup and colors her hair, do they cancel each other out?

    Still, while I don't think colored hair is sexualized, I also don't think it's necessarily counter normative... at least not where I live.

    I definitely agree that having discussions about society, identity, etc. is really critical.

    Joined: Dec 2009
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    I wore a lot of makeup starting by 8yo for theater productions. By the time my classmates were begging to wear makeup I was over it. DD at 8 is after my lip gloss, which I think is pretty typical. Right now she gets a dab for special outings.

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