Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional Anxiety and Full time GT program

Hi,
I am new to this forum and glad to have found it. I would like thoughts on placing DD8 into a full time GT program given her anxiety issues.

First, a bit of background...
DD8 has been struggling with anxiety and perfectionism, particularly in school, and more specifically with writing. She is under the care of a therapist for 3 years and now a psychiatrist as well. She essentially has 1 to many, what I call, mini-anxiety attacks a day. The school is undertaking more psycho-educational testing to see if she has other issues and we'll have the results in a few weeks. I won't go into more detail but it has been an exhausting and worrisome journey. Now that I understand the intensities and sensitivities of gifted kids, she now "makes sense" and feel like we might see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Meanwhile, she has been accepted to start at our school district's full time GT program next year. We feel she should get an education to match her cognitive abilities but are hesitant to put her into a more stressful environment at this time, just when we're stabilizing her worries. On the other hand, I've also read how gifted kids do better emotionally and socially when they are in the gifted programs (she's known as a quirky crier). I also worry that she already freaks out when met with material she doesn't instantaneously get. Therefore, I would like her to practice being challenged and be more comfortable with challenge. I'm afraid that holding her in the regular classroom another year will further reinforce her belief that anything that doesn't come easily is impossible.

So, I'd love thoughts on providing an emotionally safe AND intellectually stimulating learning environment.

I apologize for the long post and I hope someone has some similar experience. thanks!

(bump)

Welcome!

I can only tell you my experience with my DYS (now 11 and finishing 5th grade). She also has been subject to weird anxiety for a long time. Our experience was that moving into the highly-capable program helped to alleviate it, although it still took several years and a 504 plan to manage. The kids in the program are more likely to be quirky themselves, and are more tolerant of quirks in others. I think they are especially tolerant of quirks in someone who is also able to contribute different and meaningful insights into class discussions, because they value that kind of input. We also have been fortunate to (mostly) get teachers who "get" the overexcitabilities of gifted kids and are themselves tolerant of quirks. (DD's 4th grade teacher literally set up a "hiding place" for her in the classroom where she could see the teacher but none of the kids could see her. DD made huge strides when she was being accommodated instead of just told to be a different, easier child.)

My DS16 has anxiety issues that became a huge problem in his 6th grade GT program. He had attacks that year like you describe. He went into therapy for them at the time. I regret having him in this class in 6th grade but it was a 4-6 program and the first two years were better. There were parts of the program that was great but the amount of homework & level of executive function caught up to him by 6th grade.

I would ask a LOT of questions both about your child and the program. Can you talk with the teacher? How much is the homework load? Does this program expect high executive function than the regular class. (Keeping track of work, reminders to turn in, groups projects with little supervision, ongoing due ever week projects.) How much group work vs individual work? What happens if she doesn't enter this program? How will the school meet her needs be met at all?

The program my DS was in was for gifted and high achieving kids. It involved a lot of group work, and since my son struggled socially this made a bad situation worse. Much of what would be classwork in another class was sent home as homework. (Most math practice & LA worksheets.) What I didn't realize about my DS at the time was that while his GAI is high, he has low average Working Memory and Processing Speed. Plus he has this quirky perfectionism where he doesn't want to write down anything wrong. This made a high homework load for everyone, excruciating for him.

DD9 has this issue but it is combined with other issues like poor executive functioning and ADHD. She also has issues with writing that are the result of poor EF. So she has problems thinking of what to write, and then gets more and more anxious, because teachers would bark at her to focus and get to work. The anxiety just made the writing issues worse. She went to a gifted magnet (where everyone was gifted) and they accelerated her too high for math and she had so many gaps. The teacher wasn't really teaching the class, it was mostly independent work. The ADHD, EF issues, and anxiety all combined to make her unable to focus in math and get anything done. The less she focused the more anxious she got. We put her in a different school which tests the kids and puts them at the correct level for math. DD deliberatey threw the test (by picking random answer choices), claiming that she was scared she would be accelerated too high again. None of us (principal, teacher, me) could figure out how to calm her down enough to actually do the math assessment. Once we convinced her she would not be accelerated too high, she did really well on the test (although they had to give it to her on a computer because for whatever reason, any kind of assignment involving handwriting freaks her out at this point, thanks to teachers not following her 504).
So, in my experience, putting her in the g/t program was a huge mistake, in that she felt too pressured there, but we also did not have a good 504, the teachers weren't dealing with her appropriately, etc. If you can trust the teachers to handle her appropriately to reduce anxiety, and not pressure her, then it could work. The problem with my DD is that she didn't necessarily look anxious, she just looked unfocused and, at times, passive aggressive, which led the teachers to reprimand her.

This has been our experience with a FT gifted program and an anxious/quirky child as well. I wouldn't say teachers actively accommodate, but for the most part they have been tolerant, and other kids are used to some quirkiness.

Also, it has been VERY good for my child to understand that other kids are as smart or smarter than she is and that it is not possible for her to always be #1 at everything anymore. She no longer feels she has to "play that part," which I think was a lot to live up to. She is one of a lot of smart kids, though still at the top of her class (with others). This year was the first year she encountered math that stretched her a little, which was a bit of a surprise to everyone, but in the end, a positive experience.

By and large, anxiety is exacerbated by poor class fit, and reduced by good class fit. So most gifted kids tend to be much happier in a GT class where the material is taught at an appropriate level and speed, and they are with peers who are more likely to share interests and "get them".

That said, "good fit" is a complex thing, and especially tricky when you're dealing with 2E. DS, for example, went into serious depression in grade 3 from mass quantities of repetitive busy work. The next year, in contrast, anxiety went through the roof because he couldn't cope with serious high-volume writing expectations of a more advanced class. DD hit clinical levels of anxiety when undiagnosed dyslexia made keeping up in an advanced grade 2 class harder and harder for her. She's now remediating, happy and low-anxiety - but frustration with "boring" regular-level grade 3 materials is taking over. It's devastating, I know, to see your child crushed under the weight of their own worries.

Many people on this board have described GT classes that are more geared to high-acheivers, and tend to high volumes of work rather than more complex/ accelerated work. While the latter can be a sigh of relief for many gifties, the former can be misery to some, especially if executive function, writing, or other issues are also present.

The right fit can require a difficult combination of simultaneous challenge and accommodation, and is utterly unique to each child. The more you can observe the classrooms and talk to the teachers, the better it will help you figure out where your DD will be best supported and challenged. Hopefully, your GT class can provide the kind of environment you are looking for.

Thank you all for your responses. I'll have to digest them and may have more questions.

Regardless, it is such a relief to know that my DD is not alone.

In the next month, we will be recieving and reviewing her testing to determine if she gets and what will go into an IEP.