Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy 9 year old son and fascination with weapons?

When DS was younger he loved airplanes, then it turned into ships, then into battle ships, then to the weapons on the battleships, then World War 2 and now all weapons with World War 2. He is fascinated by anything and everything World War 2 but can describe every type of weapon used, whom it was used by and the pros and cons of such things. We have had lots of talks about guns and he knows the difference between playing with one of his nerf guns or seeing a real one. IN fact he will lecture people on the importance of having guns locked up lol. Anyways, it still makes me nervous he has such a fascination with this. Is this a boy thing? Is this a gifted thing? Should I be incredibly concerned and have him seek counseling? Or am I completely over reacting to the media's portrayal of children and guns? We don't have a gun but I know other people do. I don't think he would play with a gun he found at a friends house (hell he won't even use a knife because he's afraid of getting hurt). Anyone else dealt with this?

Totally normal boy thing

From what you describe, it seems normal. Having lived in areas of the country where hunting and gun ownership is the norm and other areas where it is considered a "high risk" behavior, it can be hard to tell what is going on in other families. IMO it is a good idea to talk openly with your child about gun safety.

If this is making you uncomfortable, you could try to interest him in the politics and personalities of key people in the war. Maybe including the conflicted feelings that many of the developers of weapons felt after their weapons were used in wars. I'm thinking of Nobel, Oppenheimer, Einstein, and Kalashnikov, all of who expressed regret for how their inventions were used.

He wants to make roadside bombs DNA specific so that innocent people are no longer killed because of War. He has a fascination with World War II that he wants to visit Pearl Harbor. I've never seen a child so fascinated with World War II before. But he was also completely fascinated with Dinosaurs for the longest time that he could name them in alphabetical order. It doesn't scare me, I'm just nervous if perhaps it isn't "deemed normal". He's my oldest, and my only boy. My daughter wants to barbies, my son wants to play zombie world war II hunter in the backyard.

I would indulge it - maybe take him to the local shooting range so he can get a fix in a safe environment (if you think it won't lead to him wanting a gun at home)

I had a child in the preschool I worked at who progressed through the same thing, then it moved on to Vikings with their ships and such, Western frontier exploration, etc. His mom, bless her heart, to him to every exhibit in the city and checked out books in the library about his current interests. I don't think it has to do with the violence, but with the idea and the engineering. It can be a starting point for all kinds of other ideas and stories that are more...constructive, instead of destructive,you know? History, diplomacy, medicine (how do you counteract some of the effects?), geography, materials. I do think it's a boy thing.

I would indulge him, part of this is normal boy and part of it seems like he absorbs information on his current interests deeply and comprehensively, IMO.

ITA it is a very normal boy thing. If schools spent more time in history class on weapons I think a lot of little boys would pay much closer attention.

Normal boy thing and kind of an awesome interest for a nine year old.
My DS8 went through a long stage where he was fascinated by tornadoes and the total destruction they wreak based on the EF scale. It worried me a bit - like he didn't "get" that those are actual houses that people once lived in. It was the shock and awe- not anything malicious or violent. Now, he's into world 's deadliest spiders and will explain in great detail what will happen if you're unlucky enough to be bitten by one of the "top ten."
For the record, this kid is deeply compassionate and kind- cries if he sees anyone hurt or in distress.

For DD10, it's historical disasters... Titanic, etc.

I put this down to the natural attraction of breaking stuff.

I think what the OP describes is completely "normal" in that it sounds like a deep fascination with one specific subject. I have a friend who's son also has been deeply fascinated by WWII around the same age. Likewise I've seen lots of kids fascinated by one thing for extended periods of time. I suspect that for the OP's child, it will be possibly a phase that passes into deep fascination for something else. Or perhaps it will lead to a life-long interest. It's too early to tell. I wouldn't necessarily think it's anything to worry about unless the child was showing other types of troubling behavior (either thoughts or actions).

I don't think a facisnation with guns/weapons is "normal" in the sense that all boys get excited about weapons - i.e.:


I've known lots and lots of boys, and there's no way you can characterize all boys as enjoying weapons and being fascinated by weapons. Talking about weapons isn't how you motivate boys, or anyone, to get interested in history. The way you motivate kids to get interested in history (or any subject) is by having the person who is teaching it be interested in it and make that interest obvious to the students.

Yes, some boys are interested in weapons. Some aren't. It's not something that defines the male gender.

You also can't make the inverse assumption - that girls' attention is turned off when the subject is weapons.

polarbear

Well said.

Ok - maybe I overgeneralized my own experience - but I would have liked more coverage of weapons technology in history class.

The high interest might include an interest in weapons technology.

Just be careful about the shooting ranges.. A LOT of lead in the those places...

I think there are ways to encourage his interests without taking him to a shooting range if that is not an actvity your family...values.

I also have a little history buff but mine is female. Among others we have gone through all consuming fascination with Ancient Egypt, the American Revolution and the pilgrims. As someone mentioned above we threw ourselves into each one - visiting every Egypt collection we had access to, touring Boston and Philadelphia and attending a harvest dinner at Plimouth Plantation - each at least twice. If you are uncomfortable with the weapon fascination - and I have to admit that I probably would be too but that's because I'm a total pascifist - I would gently try to guide him in the direction of a new area to throw himself into. You never know where it's going to come from. We got free tickets to a performance of the musical "Teddy and Alice" and DD fell head over heals for Teddy Roosevelt. An unusual passion for an 8 year old. And in our typical fashion it led to visiting the Panama Canal - twice.

When I taught gifted kids there were a TON of boys (I don't remember any girls but who knows) who were fascinated by war, weapons, etc. Both of my sons are WWII buffs, as are my brother and father. I think it's common. My history interest was more domestic (lived and breathed Laura Ingalls) as a child. I think it's all pretty normal for intellectual types.

Thank you everyone for your responses. The kid wants to visit Pearl Harbor and other history museums so it looks like my summer will be busy and expensive lol. The idea that he's fascinated with weapons and war and history doesn't neccessarily surprise me as my father was a member of a World War 2 online fighter plane group (no joke) and they used to have annual meetings and they would do Dog FIghts in the air using acrobatic planes. Totally not my thing lol. But, my son is so interested in it. There was recently yet another shooting by a child in my area, and on the news "experts" were talking about how the child was interested in guns as a kid and was around guns therefore that must be why he did it. And yes I got terrified. However after talking to DS (whom by the way is now timing me in my showers because according to him we waste water, and has now decided to champion for Pittbulls so he started a website) I'm no longer concerned he would do anything to intentionally hurt anyone but I also need to make sure he doesn't go to school and start talking about this stuff or CPS will show up at my door!

If you're going to be spending the money on traveling to museums, it's probably cheaper to go to the National WWII Museum in New Orleans than to Pearl Harbor.

As far as morbid fascinations, I'd say there are some major differences between interest in handguns and rifles on one hand, and tanks and battleships on the other. For one, there's very little opportunity to experiment with the latter.

Cola, we used to be fairly worried about that sort of thing, too, back in the days when DD would talk at length about the relative skills possessed by the, um--Elite-- among Medieval executioners, historical epidemics, the Hindenberg, Krakatoa, etc.

We just coached her to discuss those interests inside our home, and to self-limit such discussion elsewhere. Mostly. There was some gritting of our teeth, for sure, and a few frozen deer-in-headlights moments.

She loved to talk radiological, chemical, and biological hazards with my work-mates, I must say. Happily, they found it charming that she was enthralled with descriptions of being monitored for internal I-131, or regaled of tales of decontamination of tritium-soaked tennis shoes... the meaning of the terms ROI, LD-50, MSDS, and the like.


She barely remembers much of that phase now. But her lab technique is still pretty good-- she has great awareness. LOL.