Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Supporting Development of Executive Function

I do think there's an element of what matters to the child here. Let's think. My son does not care about clothes at all, so arriving at school in a backwards shirt with egg on it and mismatched socks just amuses/bemuses him. DD, who also struggles with EF, would never do this because she is interested in clothes and fashion.

EF is crucial. I tell my kids by upper elementary that they have to apply some of their brain power and energy to EF lest they be perceived as incompetent idiots regardless of their level of cognitive ability. I suppose I can be considered a harsh parent but the world will be far harsher - I have shepherd a kid who was 2E through elementary and quite disabled through high school. Obviously, allowances have to be made when there are clear clinical indications. Short of true pathology, I make my kids responsible for doing what needs to be done and then I let them fail. Of course, I also scaffold everything for them so they can succeed. I also start with potential failures that matter to them. Otherwise, they will simply happily fail. Once they develop EF skills in one area, it is far easier to transfer to another area. Furthermore, it is important that you don't insist on perfect EF for everything - it takes too much brain power and energy. After all, it isn't a big deal if their shirt is inside out once in a while?

Progress was most obvious with my borderline EF kid. With my disabled kid, it was truly baby steps (even when he was just 2E although more consistent/obvious progress back then) and often felt like no progress despite an incredible amount of effort on my part. It was so much faster and easier to just do everything for him and sometimes that's what happened.

OK, OK, I reread the Marshmallow test and DD would have passed (it's been years since I originally read it, forgive me), but not nearly as young as DS would have. But it got me to thinking that what really separates the two of them is extroversion and boldness (DD). Yes, DD also presents as more impulsive, which may be due to the fact that she is a "quick processor." In contrast, DS is more introverted, methodical, and a slower processor with a higher WM.

DD's faster processing speed DOES seem to translate so far into a distinct advantage on timed tests. Time will tell if DS can manage timed tests as well as she can.

Yet despite completely different strengths and weaknesses, they have remarkably similar FSIQs and GAIs.

Really, I'd love to see more studies on HG+ kiddos to sort through all of this.

My kids too--really weird. I don't remember my daughter's scores (primarily because she hasn't caused a lot of chaos, yet) but my oldest son had 165 processing speed vs. my younger son's 100. Still all three of have essentially same FSIQ: 144, 146, 143 respectively. I think that is just bizarre.

My oldest is terribly impulsive, has transient tic disorder since age 6, ADHD (impulsive type), and then developed seizures that were very strange in presentation. He also was highly successful all the way through high school (high GPA, high ACT), I think mostly bc it didn't require much of him to succeed.

My younger son, with the relatively slow processing speed is an entirely different story. He has ADHD (inattentive) and has developed no strategies as of yet to address the EF issues.

I wonder how many people have kids with the same FSIQ? I have always been kind of secretly proud of this. Not the actual score, but the fact they are all the same and it seems so anomalous. This is not the sort of thing to discuss in polite company, though.

Not to derail, or anything, but isn't that a bit like being proud of your child's blue eyes?

I mean, there's a reason why it's not something to discuss in polite company, I'm thinking-- if I were to announce that I'm "proud" of my DD's cognitive potential (blue eyes), should my (very) good friends whose child has trisomy (brown eyes) be "ashamed" of theirs?

I'm sort of thinking not. It's nothing that any of us did, after all. It's a genetic hand we were dealt, more or less.

I'm also really leery of giving DD the notion that she is entitled to anything as a result, or that her innate inborn potential is anything which reflects upon her worth in any way. Better to have her efforts do so.

Hope that doesn't come across as snarky. I'm just noting that this is the kind of thing that strikes a lot of parents of normative NT kids as "elitist" or something worse.

Nah, I get what you mean--that's why I said "not of the score itself." It's the SAME-ness of it that strikes me. It's just odd and quirky--like the fact two of them are lefties, even though neither parent is. Proud isn't the right word, exactly...but I can't think of the best descriptor.

My daughter asked if I was proud of her for getting into gifted MS program and I said more or less what you've just said. I told her I was happy for her.

No snark inferred. Frankly, I'd be a whole lot more relaxed if I had three kids with fewer complicated issues. I guess I'm just sorta fascinated by the IQ piece. Especially how it all kinda averages out, even though the kids are very different from one another.

I do understand. I am kind of enthralled/piqued/ensnared by my DD's (striking) eye color. It is an unusual thing about her, and it makes her herself.

M'kay, I'm going with piqued.

One's choice of spouse affects the distribution of the cards dealt. The smarter the person you marry, the smarter your children will be on average. I am pleased to have three bright children, and when I was dating I filtered on education and occupation to increase the chance of that happening.

It may not be polite to talk about, but who is having the children makes a profound difference to society.

This thread has me confused about what EF is? My son was diagnose with low EF. Yet he has no problems getting to school on time with everything he needs for school. At 16 I don't have to remind him, and even in junior high he only forgot things at what I'd expect would be a normal rate. He doesn't lose stuff and I was thinking just yesterday while his room isn't particularly neat he does put his stuff 'away' in his room ever day and can find things.

What he has problems with is organizing his time for homework. Keeping track of what homework is due at what time. Breaking up a long term project into manageable chunks. Or catching when a teacher announces orally, please finish and turn in tomorrow. It's more abstract with concepts & idea's not really related to 'things'.