Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums High School Counselor said, parent said

This forum has given me so much confidence in being an advocate for my son, At a conference with the high school Counselor, to be ID'd as C:

When C looked at DS's grades in English and said "well, he's not the smartest kid in the class" I felt this forum holding my knees steady as I replied "Actually, C, he probably IS the smartest kid in the class, but he's not turning in the best (or most) homework, that's why I'm here"

And when C questioned the brutality of DS's course selection and schedule, I did not throttle him around the neck and snarl "YOU are the one who advised him and registered him last March, we never see the course selections till the schedule comes out in August."

And when C wondered about a dropped AP course, I politely reminded him about the registration snafu whose correction meant a schedule conflict (his fault, see above, but I didn't say that), but I did get my dig in when I mentioned that in 7 years of kids in that school, we have never had a clean schedule.

And when C asked what DS and his friends have in common, and I said "they play game x and do activity y and they're all gifted", and he looked up and said "they're what?", and I repeated "gifted" and he just stared at me like I was speaking Martian, I didn't walk out to find a new school. Though I should have.

On the bright side, we are working together on getting DS15 the help he needs to overcome his writers block and other anxieties. C at least has some suggestions, resources, and "next steps".

Well, that last bit is positive, I must say.

Because when I asked about those things in middle school and again in high school, I again just got the; "Is that Martian you're speaking? Er-- or is it Venusian?" stare.

It took me begging for DD to sit in with the SpEd writing skills class (which helped her a lot, btw, because it covered foundational concepts originating from 2nd-4th grade, back when she hadn't needed to bother paying any attention at all) to get anything like assistance.

Well, and coming here.

Nice job maintaining your composure under duress, by the way. Well-done.

ARGGG... As I remember we have very similar kids. This is what I was expecting when I started pushing for for help for my son last spring (his freshman year) and I was pleasantly surprised. The only one I got this type push back was the assistance principal who retired at the end of last year. (When I realized that this fall I was thrilled.) She more gave us the line, well honors classes aren't for all kids. (About a kid who had been in the top honors/gifted classes since 4th grade.)

This year his H.S. after I gave them my psychologist report did admit my son is gifted and has a LD and willing to admit the 2E label. Explaining this to a few of his teachers HAS helped. Although the school is still very rigid about their honors/AP entrance rules. This is why my DS is being bored in non-honors classes this year. (And surprise, surprise still not getting straight A's just like I predicted.)

Good Luck. I hope you can find someone that will help you. Perhaps one of his teachers has a clue and can help you push. This is what helped for us, my son really did try and get help from his English teacher and she was just as frustrated as I.

Well done. That he is not the smartest kid in the class comment is hard. My instinctive reaction is to agree (NZ thing). Then I go away and remember that he is probably by the smartest kid in the school and possibly the city. Oh well.

Puffin, I usually would stay silent, too. Not anymore!

I asked The C about a study hall class that I know we have, where the students check in with the proctor/teacher to make and check milestones for assignments and keep up with homework, but The C said it's for and populated by students who are already failing or display serious behavior infractions. (I wonder how many of them are gifted? And maybe if I back off, DS WILL fail and get into it?). He'll get a regular assigned study hall.

I've been in touch with a couple of of DS's teachers since early October. A month ago one of them told me to back off, that DS needed to learn to self-advocate. The other day I had an email from her saying she now understands what I meant and she will work with DS on writing process and approach him, instead of thinking he'll hand her an essay 3 weeks late. I'm going to ask her about the department resource center.

Another has been wanting to help, and has given a lot of concessions on due dates, but I think he needed something concrete to do. So today I asked whether, if DS gets a study hall, can the teacher write him a pass after every lab so DS can do the write up in the science resource center. The teacher said absolutely, AND he would also check in with the resource person to ensure s/he knows what the lab is and how to help! DS would be just fine in AP Chem if all he had to do was data. The writing throws him.

DS recently represented his school in an honor band, had to be nominated by his director. But he "can't" play his assessment étude in front of his director because he doesn't think he's good enough.

Someone posted recently about perfectionism, trying some of the techniques, but I sure wish they worked on the spot. It will take time. Certainly not soon enough for the end of the semester. Which is Tomorrow. On top of finals this week (don't get me started) he is also making up 6 assignments. Oh, and it's his birthday.

Thanks for all the stories shared here, that empower me to work for my dear son.

Aargh.

Have you thought about college? It worked well here. The local university here has a pretty good program for documented 2e issues and they really want to help the students succeed. College classes transfer similarly to AP classes.... I don't know the whole story, but since it worked for me I am all for suggesting to others. It may not work for everyone but I am glad I gave it a go. My kiddo took her first college class in eighth grade. She had the SAT scores and the college tested her on the same tests they used for their students and she passed. So they let her in the class. She has been taking college classes since and this last semester has a full college load. The teachers don't seem to care about exclaiming intelligence when they see it and they sure have seemed more motivated for my kid to succeed than any over-worked and poorly paid high school counselor did.