Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Introduction ... Nice to meet you!

I have three daughters. Two are in elementary school. While I was in gifted classes as a child, I always believed it was a mistake. (Years of hearing, "You're not as smart as you think you are." takes its toll.)

So, I assumed my daughters were not gifted. They certainly weren't doing anything I considered impressive or out of the norm.

When I got the call my oldest was placed into a pull-out math program, I responded, "But she's not the smart one."

Seriously? Can I make myself sound like a WORSE parent right now? *headdesk*

The vice-principal told me that wasn't a very nice thing to say and I agreed and told her that of course I believe their testing but my middle daughter was head and shoulders beyond my oldest in math and asked would she please give her the test again.

They did and placed my middle daughter in a pull-out program a level above.

See, the school they were in had five tracks. The middle and then two intervention tracks and two enrichment tracks. There were only pull out sessions for language arts and math and my daughters were not pulled out for language arts.

This continued for two years until we moved last November. The girls went in to their new school and were re-tested with some Scholastic test and placed into gifted classrooms. There is one per grade in the district so my 3rd grader has 27 classmates and my 4th grader has 23 classmates.

They struggled for about a month getting the hang of all this newly challenging work and I was thrilled they were meeting resistance and finally being challenged. Until my pep talks and my children's natural love of learning kicked in and now they're doing great again and back to being on "auto pilot" with two notable exceptions.

My 3rd grader's handwriting isn't great. It's not unreadable but it's not what the teacher would like. My 4th grader is getting low Cs in reading comprehension, but I'm not sure how to help her with that because the reading comprehension worksheets remind me of the LSAT and I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be getting a 4th grader an LSAT prep book to help her with 4th grade. LOL

I don't even want to go into my 5yo who isn't in Kindy yet because of her late September birthday who can do basic multiplication and stuff.

I'm also an awful mom because I haven't actively encouraged reading at all. Okay, I vascillate between thinking I'm awful and a genius to be honest. I focus on math first because I'm such an avid reader that I know they'll pick up on that part. (The older two have but it wasn't instantaneous and they were denied advanced learning for two years because of my decision so ... I still don't know if I'm making the right decision!!)

I'm here on this forum because I'm hoping it is the place where I can talk about my worries and struggles with my children without it turning into the "my kid has it worse so you should shut up" contest.

I just don't want to mess up my kids and have them thinking their only options are to cure cancer or feel like a failure.

I can't tell you how scared I am even writing all this. I mean, I just don't talk about my children like this. Usually people forget how many kids I have or if they are boys or girls because they just....don't exist in my conversations. My kids are almost invisible with regard to my online presence because how do you ask, "Is it enough to know my children are gifted or should I get them tested to see if they are highly gifted?" when you know it's an invitation to get a whole bunch of shade thrown at you?

It's nice to meet you. Thank you for having me.

Jen

Hi, Welcome!

Sounds like you are in the right place. We have definitely noticed how giftedness can run through generations of a family. So, it makes sense to me that your children take after you.

I don't think you should feel 'scared' about sharing; I really do think people opening up on this topic is helpful to families now and in the future.

I think one major benefit of this forum is that as a gifted parent of gifted children, you might not readily find the other gifted families in your area, for one reason or another, and you might live in a town where people are uncomfortable with the discussion; so, this seems to be a safe place to share.

Just knowing that you care so much that you 'don't want to mess up' is a sure step to showing that you are aware and engaged and that is great!

Also, I am sorry that you had to hear any negative comments as a gifted child. Even though gifted children have been identified for a very long time, there does seem to be some ignorance around how to treat gifted children. Hope it helps!

If the teacher is approachable I would talk to her about reading comprehension and then to your daughter. She may be over thinking the questions.

Ok Jen, take a deep breath and relax. You are safe here. If you read back over some of the posts on this forum you will find you fit right in. Worrying about our kids and asking the questions you are asking are all quite normal here. So is not wanting to mess up. I think parents of gifted and not gifted kids all worry about that one.

Having children tested is always an interesting question. It usually comes down to what reason you have to test. Some people test to have access to programs or courses. Some people test to delineate strengths and weaknesses or to look for learning challenges as well as giftedness.

I would agree with Puffin that having a chat to the teacher, if you feel able to do so, is always a good way to start if there is a perceived issue. Is it a problem with the way comprehension is being assessed or is there a genuine issue with comprehension? What does the teacher or the school suggest as a way to investigate the concern or assist with skill building.

At some point you may want to consider testing if there is no resolution so you can better address any learning concerns.

Please don't blame yourself for any bumps in the educational road. You care. We know because you are concerned and you are seeking advice. Keep talking and we will listen and advise where we can. Most questions are not new to this board. Look around. There are lots of people just like you here.

Welcome!
You may wish to ensure that your screen name is a nickname which preserves the anonymity and privacy of your children and others they may interact with. The board rules are posted in the shaded header at the top of the Forum, and include the reminder, "Try not to post any information that will allow others to identify you, your children, or anyone else."

Testing typically reveals relative strengths, and also relative weaknesses for which a child may be struggling to compensate. These are good things to know for raising, coaching, and encouraging kids through the years.

Welcome! And don't worry about sharing here. You may wish to read through the fun threads such as "you know you have a gifted child" and the bragging threads. It's all good here.
Yes, there can be reasons you'd want to know exactly what level of giftedness your kids are at (you will see the acronym LOG referenced). For instance, you might want more comprehensive testing to find out what is going on re your oldests struggle with reading comprehension. Agree it might simply be a test taking strategy problem so yes, talk to the teacher first and then, sigh, some test prep may be in order (though maybe not with the LSAT). As in, these are the hoops you will have to jump through for the rest of your schooling anyway, so might just as well learn how now.
Handwriting may be an indirect giftie issue (is she still accelerated? Young for grade? Does she struggle with thinking so much faster than she can write?) or something else altogether, and you might want to have an OT evaluate her just in case.
Or she may just need more practice.

It makes sense to check out gifted options and their testing requirements for middle school and enrichment programs accessible to you now before you schedule more IQ testing - there may be tests or testers programs require or conversely don't accept, and limits to how old the test may be. Might as well kill two birds with one stone.