Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Tests say my child is gifted, but I'm skeptical

I have a 7-yo who had a an EG score on the WPPSI but after 1.5 years of gifted ed, I'm not certain I have a EG kid. Reasons for doubt: 1. School psychologist who administered WPPSI was relieved of their duties due to some "inconsistencies" of the evaluations. 2. Child doesn't show a strong interest in reading, math or exhibit traditionally gifted characteristics (ask "why" questions, intensely focused, seeks complex problems, etc.) 3. Stay at home parent was a teacher and may have inadvertently constructed a hothouse environment (!) due to professional habits and access to educational materials. Honestly, the last one was a stretch because there was no pushing or forcing, simply followed interests and exposed to a variety of different experiences. But have noticed a high proportion of parents with educator background at the school.

In school, the teachers are complimentary about attitude and focus. Recently scored very high on MAP tests which "surprised" these same teachers. They justified this by saying the first grade version of the MAP is a basic version and can skew scores really high or really low due to the small number of questions.

Can the parents of gifted kids show characteristics of the imposter syndrome? I am worried that our expectations are too high, we're hung up on the label/scores and not appreciating her for who she is. At the same time, we would hate to have spent the significant amount of money on an education setting that wasn't necessary. Sorry for the rant, but if not here, than where? Thanks!

Yes, a parent can have impostor syndrome. I would imagine most parents think their kids are fairly normal, or if gifted, "suitably" mildly gifted. Let's look at your concerns:

1. WPPSI/pscyhologist. I have heard that scores could skew a bit high on WPPSI III. DYS program required a higher score than for other IQ tests on the WPPSI III. Which test did your child take? Unless you received notice that your particular test was invalid, I wouldn't be too concerned re: pyschologist unless you have many other reasons to doubt the scores.

2. Traditionally gifted characteristics. If you have seen one EG kid, you have seen one EG kid. Everyone is different. I happen to have a pretty lazy kid, who learned early on how to do the least amount of work to get a good-enough grade on projects. He doesn't love school. His biggest GT thing, I think, is not something that is super out there -- he has the ability to understand pretty much anything. His current motivations are all computer-related. My kid also likes to hide his abilities, and we have had to stay on top of things to make sure he is getting challenged/learning new material.

3. Stay at home parent/teacher is likely to be GT as well, and thus doesn't notice that child is different.

How is the curriculum? Is it too hard/too easy/OK? If the teachers were surprised by the MAP scores (another indication of GTness), I'm wondering if there is a chance that your child may be underchallenged? Something to think about.

If you are unhappy about the school setting, are there other options?

If the kid has already experienced 1.5 years of gifted ed, the first question I would ask is, "How is that going?" If she's keeping up, finding it engaging and interesting, then it's an appropriate placement, and I'd stop worrying. If she's showing that she's struggling, then one of many factors I'd be looking into is whether the EG result was way off. But I'd also be looking at whether she's disengaging due to boredom, which would indicate that the EG result was at least reasonably close, and as EG usually indicates, she needs more.

Another thing about girls is they're notorious for hiding extreme abilities and attempting to blend into their surroundings. I have an HG 9yo who did just that.

A hothouse environment only exists if the parent is actively hothousing, because it's an action, not an innate property of the child's surroundings. You can create an enriching environment, but the child will only engage in it if they're intrinsically motivated (strong indicator of giftedness, but not entirely necessary, as it also involves individual personality, plus environmental factors like how the activity is presented and/or the behavior is modeled by parents) or coerced into it (hothoused).

For example, our DD had access to books from infancy, so they were there, and available, as one feature of an enriching environment. But DW and I never brought DD a giant stack of them in her toddler years and told her to quit what she was doing and listen to stories. She brought the stack to us, unasked, and she had plenty of other activities to choose from.

A common cause for doubting parents is when their view of normal is askew, due to lack of experience with children of that age level who are closer to the middle of the distribution. This happens more easily than you'd think, because we tend to cluster around family (genetic links) and friends (self-selected peers). I note you don't identify the stay-at-home parent who is an experienced educator... if that's not you, then I'd be very interested in the other parent's opinion, if they've taught this same age group and/or had gifted education training, because that parent would have seen a lot more "normal" and have a better calibrated frame of reference.

This happened in my own family. DW was teaching our DD the things she thought she ought to know based on her experiences caring for her nephews, plus the expectations of a school system in another country that was much more rigorous. This is what set her parameters for "normal." But as I watched DD acquire the required skills for K in the US before she turned three, I was constantly asking DW, "What are we going to do with her when it's time to go to school?"

I was very skeptical with my second child until he was almost done with K (6 years old). Then it was clear to me he was gifted. Denial gone. Two years later I found out he was PG. Back in denial. Slowly it became apparent that even if I wanted to deny PG he is at least HG.

He loves to read. He reads and reads fiction. He reads and processes quickly. But he isn't a prodigy or really out there in any specific area. He will fill his brain with video games or Full House or stupid Nick or Disney shows for hours straight if allowed.

Then someone just gushes over a conversation they had with him or a test result comes back.

Me too. I especially have doubt's with my younger - but then he says something that is just not what you expect from a 5 year old.

So you don't feel alone:

BTDT.

My oldest presented like a typical gifted kid. Lots of curiosity, lots of why questions, great in math, loved to memorize facts and statistics.

My youngest was totally different. Wasn't interested in anything but his obsessions, which happened to be things that moved when he was a toddler until he was in kindy. He could spend hours playing with his cars and trains.

I was fairly certain that we were going to have a happy, well-rounded average kid...who liked wheels. His kindergarten teacher spotted "gifted" within a few months. I didn't see it.

He was tested and he qualified.

Years go by and he's doing very well in school but not inclined to do much more than asked. Then he joined an Odyssey of the Mind group in 5th grade, took an Explore Test soon after, which prompted the school to give an IQ test, which led to DS becoming a DYS.

I was surprised. Perhaps more than DH. But then every now and then DS comes out with brilliance and I see it. In fact, he's extremely gifted with language and writing. I'm a writer and I recognize he's miles beyond where I was at his age. So it's there. Just not in all the expected ways, I guess.

I would follow your dd the best you can. The people making these determinations don't usually make mistakes.

"The people making these determinations don't usually make mistakes."

I'll join in with KADmom on this. We started down this path when a pre-school teacher insisted DS7 needed to be assessed for Asperger's. The psychologist who assessed him (at 3.5) administered the WPPSI and told us he was highly gifted.

But .... 2 years later he still wasn't reading, and while he seemed to have a huge vocabulary, and interesting reasoning abilities, we sort of wrote the high IQ report off as a product of being an only child whose parents talked to him a lot. Maybe we had inadvertently hot-housed him, though we are decidedly more banana slug than tiger.

At 6, when his school troubles were peaking, we had him re-assessed as part of full neuropsych workup that included WISC-IV. His IQ scores came back even higher, in the PG range. He had some serious achievement discrepancies and was assessed as likely dyslexic/dysgraphic.

Shortly after the report was finalized, he suddenly had a huge burst, and in 2 months went from reading just below first grade level to reading above fifth grade level. And his school struggles began to diminish. Talk about whiplash! We honestly don't know what he needs - intense therapy or time to grow or both - and you can see a bunch of my hand-wringing over it in my posts over the past 6 months.

For now, like KADmom, we just follow his interests (currently Magic the Gathering and Greek mythology), give him tons of unconditional love and acceptance, and we work, work, work on helping him cope with his intensities so he can keep his behavior within the bounds he needs for function and happiness.

So - yes - follow your DD as best you can and enjoy the ride. And - I wouldn't doubt that diagnosis if I were you!

Sue

Thanks for all of the wonderful replies!

St. Pauli Girl- Yes, it was the WPPSI-III. Totally agree with the, "you've seen one EG child, you've seen one EG child" remark. So true at the school. I'm starting to feel that my own child's laziness is her personal coping strategy to minimize her perfectionism. To the school's credit, after the MAP scores came in they immediately bumped her into a new, more advanced math section.
KADmom- I enjoyed your realization about your son being a great writer even if it's not evident everywhere yet. I feel the same thing myself sometimes which is why I appreciated el Duderino's, Cookie's and Suevv's good point about not worrying and being patient about things and enjoying the ride. Again, thank you!