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DS4 is gifted verbally. His preschool teacher complained last year that he is "too cerebral" and we need to get him "out of his head." Although I take whatever she says with a grain of salt, it sticks because you could say the same about me and I am afraid this contributes to anxiety. Anyway he has been narrating to himself, especially when I am busy doing something and he has to be by himself. If I say "not right now I am cooking" he will walk away mumbling his narration: "He shuffled away despondent in search of some trucks.." Like he's separate from the event. Anyone else's kid narrate to themselves? I wonder if that's what he's doing when he is quiet, or at school and how I can show him that this would make for great storytelling and not just used as an escape. His small motor is behind so writing turns him off, when he plays with my video camera its mostly visual pretending, maybe a tape recorder? Any thoughts? Thanks.
Second, teachers like that really hack me off. What she's saying is "He needs to learn to be someone different than he is." It reminds me of the art teacher (in a free-play setting) who pressured me to stop doing pencil drawing and do stuff with color. (Ironically, she also harped on how we should follow our own creative ideas and not someone else's.) And the camp counselors who would forbid me to read a book because I was supposed to be participating in group activities. And peers who would tell me that I think too much and needed to be more fun. Several decades later, I'm here to say that no one's attempts to make me more "normal" had the slightest effect. The key for me to be happy was to find other huge nerds who like to think too much.
Haha! My DS does that, too! I think it's a charming way for my DS to get his auditory, verbal, social, and intellectual needs met in the little gaps between play.
The teacher could as soon tell a fish not to swim. She doesn't understand or appreciate that he is an individual. Words might be his art, his way of seeing the world, and disapproving of that is effectively tantamount to telling him to stop being. I can't help but shake my head at some adults. Children are born with an innate curiosity and beauty, and adults who are supposed to support their development, in this case the teacher, instead quash it due to their own insecurity. It's sick that an adult should feel threatened by a 4 year old, but there it is.
Self-talk is actually a very healthy way to regulate emotions and remain focused. Some preschools, such as my DS's, encourage it.
The first article mentions that self-talk in the third-person may provide the emotional distance a person needs to effectively manage such tough emotions.
my dd did this when she was 3 - we got so many laughs out of it, (I'll call her belly for the eg:) Once she was jumping all over her dad and he was getting quite cross telling her to stop. We hear " but belly wasn't listening"
Great, links, thank you. It does seem like it would be helpful for emotional regulation. He also has imaginary friends which consist of 101 of himself. The #2 of him is apparently smaller and needs to be taken care of. Adorable, funny but interesting lol Thanks, guys!
My DS5 does this. I've never seen another kid do it so I'll be watching this thread.
My son was always a talker (he started at about seven months) but we started to really notice this at about 2.5 years old. At the time he was fascinated by pinball machines and marble mazes and he would walk around and tell a story tracing the path of the ball through the pinball machine/maze in his imagination. He would go on for half an hour without stopping. When he turned three he became obsessed with Rube Goldberg machines and turned to describing them. Then he moved on to motors and the internal compontents. . and then to elements and describing the contraptions he wants to build and what materials he would use. He talks a lot and gets very carried away with his stories. My husband and I feel overwhelmed and overstimulated by the constant talking.
We think the talking is a creative outlet and also a form of self-regulation. My son is sensitive to noise and when we are in a noisy place, he often paces and starts telling his stories. He also did it a lot after his baby brother was born, especially when the baby was crying or unhappy.
Last year, our son's preschool teachers told us that he talks incessantly at school, that he doesn't seem to care if anybody is listening and that he talks over the heads of the kids and teachers (that is, he talks about chemistry and physics so nobody really understands what he's talking about). We had my son evaluated by a psychologist and that's how we learned that he is gifted. We knew he was bright and quirky but we didn't realize that he would have such a hard time fitting in at school.
I'm happy to report that the talking has decreased and become more appropriate in the last few months. I'm not sure if my son had a developmental spurt or is just more relaxed but he no longer talks incessantly. He's also getting better about not monopolizing conversations. We've had him in a social skills playgroup for about six months so that may have made a difference, too.
My parents tell me that I talked incessantly when I was a child, too. I still like to talk but I've learned to let others take a turn, too!
Looking back at your original message, I guess my son's narrating is a bit different but I still think they are similar because of how the kids use the narration (self-regulation)?
